Jeanne Cusimano's Ass - The Sopranos: Media Club Plus S03E07
Transcriber: Jay (jay8325)
Introduction        1
Episode 13        2
[1:30:00]        66
Introduction
[“Shame About It” by Jack de Quidt begins playing]
Sylvi: Welcome to Media Club Plus, a podcast about diving into the media that interests us and the stories that excite us. As always, we're brought to you by Friends at the Table with support from our patrons over at friendsatthetable.cash. And this season we are watching The Sopranos. In fact, this episode we're wrapping up the first season of The Sopranos. Uh, I'm Sylvi Bullet. You can find me on most social media platforms @SylviBullet. And like I said, you can support the show over at our Patreon. The easy link is friendsatthetable.cash. Joining me as always is Keith J. Carberry.
Keith: Hi, my name is Keith Carberry. You can find me online at carberry.deals. You can find the Let's Plays that I do at youtube.com/runbutton.
Sylvi: Hell yeah. Also with me today is Art Martinez-Tebbel.
Art: Hey, um, friendsatthetable.cash. Um, you can support our stuff. I think we'll have a bonus episode soon. We should at least be talking about it internally.
Sylvi: Yeah, we'll, we'll start having conversations.
Keith: It would be nice if when this came out, the very next week that bonus episode came out.
Sylvi: Wow.
Keith: That's what I dream.
Sylvi: I don't have our release schedule internalized enough to like—
Keith: We're months from this episode coming out.
Sylvi: I figured, I— This felt like, I think this is gonna be like, a September. Yeah. Yeah, you know.
Art: Yeah, that's certainly possible. And friendsatthetable.shop, buy some stuff.
Sylvi: Yep. And of course, rounding out the cast, we've got Darcy Swan.[1]
Darcy: Hello, you can find me on BlueSky. I'm [username removed]. And I've— You know what? I brought my DSM-V today.
Keith: That's great.
Sylvi: Wow. You know what? I am very excited to get into this.
Keith: You're fully updated. Yeah, I have notes about that scene and also an audio clip about that scene.
Sylvi: Yeah, I have a lot of things to say. Also, important to mention, If you wanna download either the opening or closing track, if you wanna get those, uh, to this incredible podcast with incredible music, you can go to notquitereal.bandcamp.com. Uh, I love Jack's rendition of, uh, I forgot the name, The Sopranos theme song.
Keith: Yeah. By Alabama— Alabama, Alabama, Alabama.
Sylvi: Alabama 3, I think.
Art: Woke up this morning, chose a remix.
Episode 13 [02:15]
Sylvi: I was like, it's— I, I, I was worried that I was going too simple with it and it was gonna be like Shotgun Shine or something, but no, that's okay. Like I mentioned before, we watched the finale of season 1, episode 13, I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano. This episode was directed by John Patterson, written by David Chase, edited by William B. Stich, with Phil Abraham as cinematographer.
Keith: I'm sorry, can I say something really quick about that title?
Sylvi: I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano?
Keith: Someone just really wanted to call this episode that. That is completely inconsequential. Someone wanted to do an I Dream of Jeannie joke.
Darcy: Well!
Sylvi: They do talk about her, her big ass.
Keith: They talk about her big ass.
Sylvi: That she doesn't actually have.
Keith: That she doesn't actually have for one second. It is like the least crucial part of that conversation, let alone the whole episode.
Sylvi: It's very funny though. I do— I, I don't think you're wrong. But, you know, yeah, I sometimes— Like— Sometimes you name TV show episodes like you do a Midwest emo song. It doesn't always make any sense.
Keith: Or like a podcast.
Sylvi: Or like a podcast. Exactly.
Keith: That's how I name— That’s how I name these podcasts.
Sylvi: And I'm passionate about both.
Keith: Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, but I just thought that— That I was perplexed by the title when it eventually revealed that it was essentially completely unimportant.
Art: So thank you for listening to this episode, Jeannie Cusamano's Ass.
Sylvi: Yeah, Jeannie Cusamano's theoretical big ass.
Darcy: Schrödinger's Jeannie Cusamano's Ass.
Sylvi: Whoa, the, the, the third Zero Escape game goes places. Uh, are there any other high-level thoughts or should I just jump into our summary here?
Keith: Summary. Summary please.
Sylvi: It's finally time for us to find out where cunnilingus and psychiatry have led us, and the first stop on our journey is a meeting between the capos, during which Tony and Junior agree that Jimmy is a rat and needs to be dealt with. Chris, promising Jimmy a party with some Russian girls, lures him to a hotel where he and Silvio take him out. Back at the Soprano household, a delirious Livia has wandered into the backyard while Meadow has her boyfriend over and AJ is… Busy. With her symptoms worsening, Livia is unable to recognize AJ or Meadow, and, uh, they have to inform a police officer that she is in fact their grandmother, uh, who helps her back to Greengrove. Tony tells Melfi that they're testing his mother for Alzheimer's again, and when the topic of his carjacking comes up, Melfi's the one who pushes the conversation toward Tony's mother. Her implication that Livia could have had something to do with the hit sends Tony into a rage, with him physically threatening Melfi and then storming out of the office. Meanwhile, Carmela's out for her lunch with Rosalie, Jackie's widow, at the new Vesuvio. The two of them are talking about how things were peaceful when Jackie was boss, and the state of things now after Tony's carjacking. Artie's in a great mood, though, yapping away with Carm and Ro about the new place and then finding out about Livia's Alzheimer's before heading back to the kitchen. The two are then joined by Father Phil, and during a conversation about food— Because that's all this guy talks about— It's revealed that Rosalie gave Phil a watch that used to belong to Jackie. The FBI once again try to flip Tony by bringing him to a clandestine meet, and while they're not successful in getting him to go into witness protection, they do play him a tape they acquired by tapping Greengrove. It's the conversation Junior and Livia had about Tony seeing a psychiatrist, revealing to him that Livia was just as much a part of Junior putting a hit on him as, uh, his uncle was. That nice young man Artie Bucco goes to visit Livia in the nursing unit of Greengrove next, struggling to carry a conversation with her given Livia's condition, During it, though, she reveals to Artie that Tony was the one who burned down the restaurant, by saying how nice it is that he forgave him for it even though someone could have gotten hurt. Back at the Bing, Tony tells Paulie, Chris, and Silvio that Junior was behind the hit, with the guys putting together a list of who needs to be taken out before Junior can take out Tony. Tony and Carmela talk about Livia back at home— Tony is obviously torn up about it, and Carmela's furious. Tony wishes he never made fun of Junior for giving head because, like I said earlier, this is where cunnilingus and psychiatry have led us— A line so good I worked it into the summary twice. He also tells Carmela she has to keep up appearances with Livia and Junior so nobody gets suspicious. The next day, Tony does one of the more whimsical assassinations I've seen, taking out Junior’s soldier Chucky Signore with a gun he was hiding in a fish, and then disposing of his body in the water with Silvio. After that, it's back to Melfi's office, with Tony managing to talk Melfi down from calling the cops, patching things up offscreen at a nearby coffee shop, and then having a conversation at her office about the situation with his mother and the mob war. Tony tells Melfi she has to go on the run— That she's in danger because their sessions are the reasons he's in danger. In one of my favourite scenes in the entire show, Artie confronts Tony outside of Satriale's, pointing a rifle at him. At first, Tony thinks Artie took money from Junior to do this, but after Artie mentions that Livia was the woman who told him, Tony's able to do some gold medal gaslighting to get Artie to not shoot him. Poor Artie just flips out, smashes the gun to pieces on his car, and drives off. We get a dinner scene this episode still, which is a tense one for obvious reasons. Everybody's, uh— The temperature is sort of rising, everything's starting to boil over with everyone except for the kids who remain unaware that their uncle and grandmother tried to have their dad killed. Artie goes to Father Phil for some counseling, talking about how full of rage he is. He doesn't just hate one man, he hates all men. But he also reveals two crucial things: one, that Charmaine still doesn't know it was arson, and two, he's not going back to the insurance, uh, investigators? I couldn't remember the— Insurance company. Uh, I accidentally wrote he's not going to the insurance money, so I'm just gonna, like, keep on moving here, 'cause that doesn't make any sense. Tony comes clean to the boys about his psychiatrist, explaining that it's the reason why Junior has put the hit out on him. And Silvio and Paulie surprisingly handle it better than Chris does, who storms out of the Bing. Carmela goes to bring Father Phil some food, but even her priest's cheating on her, getting doted on by Rosalie Aprile so much that Carm just dumps her dish on the way out of the church. Charmaine hires Adriana to be the hostess at the new Vesuvio, ranting about— oh, sorry, raving about how quickly she picks things up, before sitting down to eat with Artie. She asks him what he wanted to tell her, presumably about the old restaurant, but he doesn't go through with it, just saying he likes the new bar stools. Tony's all smiles the next morning, and we quickly find out why. While he's out on a jog, Mikey's fuckfaceitis finally becomes terminal. Paulie and Chris chase him down through the woods while he tries to escape, but even poison ivy can't stop them, shooting Mikey to death in a river and then disposing of the body. And it's right after that that the FBI make their move, indicting Junior, Larry Boy, and a guy whose nickname is Beppy? I'm sorry to that man, but I've never seen him before in my life. There are 13 other arrests as well, but Junior's obviously the most important, with Tony defending him to his kids but smiling when he sees the news nevertheless. Carmela, on the other hand, sees Mikey's wife being interviewed and is obviously affected by the scene of her crying, not knowing what's happened to her husband for sure. According to Tony's lawyer over the phone, it's a broad indictment going on that's involving some telephone calling card scam that Junior and Larry Boy ran, as well as a shady stock that he wasn't involved with. Tony does tell Carmela, though, that the feds will have things on him from tapping Greengrove, and that it's an ongoing federal investigation. Artie runs into Father Phil again at Vesuvio, and when asked whether or not he's come clean about the restaurant fire, Artie simply explains that the truth would, quote, add to the quotient of sorrow in the world, if he was to doubt Tony. Since he seems at peace to Father Phil. They just leave it at that. In federal custody, Junior's asked to testify that he wasn't the boss of North Jersey in exchange for immunity, with the primary targets of the ex-FBI investigation revealed to be Johnny Sack and the New York mob. Since Junior does not want to admit that Tony was in charge of Jersey, he doesn't take the deal. Father Phil tries to cozy up to Carmela again, bringing over a movie and trying to ask about Tony's investigation, but Carmela's over it. She finally calls him out over his weird relationships with spiritually thirsty women, and he takes off back home. Tony's at Greengrove armed with a pillow, and while he's making his way to Livia's room, he finds out that she's just had a stroke. And while they're wheeling her to the nursing wing, Tony gets right in her face, telling her he knows what she did, that Uncle— Her protector Uncle Junior's in prison now, and even getting physical with the EMTs trying to take her to the— To the nursing wing. Livia, for what it's worth, smiles at Tony despite the insistence of medical personnel that she cannot and does not understand him. Tony tries to see Melfi afterwards, but the office is empty, with her having skipped town on his advice. While this is happening, a thunderstorm's hit New Jersey, and over the past few scenes it's been intensifying, knocking out the power while the Sopranos drive around town looking for somewhere to eat. They end up at Vesuvio, and even though the power's out there, Artie invites them in. The whole gang's there, in fact— Chris is visiting Adriana, Paulie and Silvio are having dinner together, and as the Sopranos sit down, uh, Tony raises a toast to his family. Hoping that one day when his kids have kids of their own, they'll appreciate the little moments like this. And that is the end of the first season of The Sopranos. What'd you think, guys? [sounds of clapping] Oh, thank you. Um, that was for me, right? Not the show?
Keith: Yeah.
Darcy: Why not both?
Sylvi: Okay, cool. Aww!
Keith: Um, I like this episode.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Darcy: Yeah. 
Keith: There is a— The finale-ness of it was low to me.
Sylvi: Real— Yeah.
Keith: I thought ending the episode with a sort of nice family scene in Artie's restaurant and being like, I hope you guys all love your family when you're grown up, was like, kind of a weird last note for season 1 of The Sopranos.
Sylvi: Yeah, I think that scene is supposed to be like, thought of in juxtaposition to the scene that comes right before it, right? Like, because he's saying, I hope you remember the good times with your family, right before he's gone to attempt a murder on his mom. 
Keith: Oh, totally. Yeah.
Sylvi: But I can see—
Darcy: But after his basically father tried to murder him, Yeah.
Sylvi: Like, I can see why it would feel a little like, not as— Not super like, bombastic as a way to leave off a season.
Keith: It's strange that the last third of this episode has like, a lot of Father Phil, Artie, and, uh, not a lot of... the other stuff. Like, it felt like they were tying up other things that maybe I would have tried to tie up earlier or even in an earlier episode. Uh, unless Artie becomes really important.
Art: I think you will find— Yeah, one, the Artie stuff is very important, but also I think you're going to find as the series goes on that they don't necessarily think that, like, the mafia drama is the stuff that should close the seasons.
Sylvi: Yeah. The family stuff ends up being like— I mean, I think it— I, I mean, personally, I think it's always been like this. It's, it's the more important— It supersedes the mob stuff, right?
Keith: Sure.
Sylvi: That's, that's the big thing.
Keith: Yeah. There's family stuff in the show that I really, really like.
Sylvi: Mm-hmm.
Keith: Um, but this stuff, this felt— It just felt a little thin at the very end. It's raining, they go to Artie's. Yeah, I— And that's really my only issue with the episode, is that I found it strange that like, the last thing is— And it's not, you know, it didn't feel like Tony's trying— Because he likes to want to kill his mom, it seems like. [Darcy: Uhhhhh.] Um, so it didn't really— 
Art: Oh, he really didn't like to want to kill his mom. 
Darcy: Yeah. 
Keith: Well, he was mad about it, but he's in his element when he's mad about it. He's mad. He's a mad guy. Uh, he's a madman. He's a madman.
Darcy: I still don't think he likes feeling mad about his mom, but I think he's more accepting of it. Uh, he's willing to kill her. I think that's a step forward. Yeah, yeah.
Sylvi: When he knows who his like, enemies are, I feel like there's a clarity to him.
Keith: That, that passion that he's in the hospital with when he's like, in her ear being like, I know you fucking did it. I know that you're faking. Fuck you. Like, that's it. There's a sort of manic joy there. 
Darcy: Oh, yeah. And it's very similar to the pilot when he's like, driving the car and like, running the dude over.
Keith: Yeah. And, uh, and, you know, sure, he feels worthless, uh, and he hates that he's the sort of person that, that, that— Whose mom would do that to him. But there's— But, you know, his identity is someone who struggles with his own worth because of who his mom is. And so, he doesn't feel out of water when he's feeling worthless. He feels like, yep, that's Tony Soprano. And so, it didn't feel like he's a desperate man struggling to keep his family together in these trying times. It just sort of felt like this is who Tony Soprano is. One minute he's running someone over with his car, threatening to kill his mom, throwing tables, and then the next minute he's acting normal at a restaurant.
Darcy: Oh, I agree with that. Yeah, 100%.
Sylvi: Yeah, no, I think you're right on the money with that.
Keith: So to end the episode with it, it felt more like, um, it felt less like a finale that was like, kind of pushing him into a new space or escalating things and more like—
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Returning back to what we've been seeing kind of since the pilot.
Art: But you're in the future, is the problem.
Keith: I mean— Okay.
Art: Is that you're in like the post-Prestige Television age where we—
Sylvi: True, that's actually a really good point.
Art: Where we do expect the finales to push characters to a new status quo. And this is 1999, and what a finale is doing is sort of recentering.
Keith: Now, you say this, but this is my big problem with, you know, Breaking Bad, for instance, a show that does, you know, push Walter White to a new place in the finales, but then just uses the pilot of the next season to recenter. And it's a very frustrating sort of treadmill to me. And so right now, this is feeling— This isn't frustrating like Breaking Bad is, but it is treadmill-ing, which is fine. It just didn't— You know, the people had a— Oh, fuck. What are the boxes called that tell you who's watching what? Why am I forgetting?
Darcy: Oh, the Nielsen boxes?
Keith: Nielsen boxes. People have Nielsen boxes. There's— Sweeps week exists. They want you to watch, tune in extra for premieres and finales. And this—
Art: Not on HBO, they don't.
Keith: Not on HBO, they don't. But still—
Sylvi: Yeah, it is a different model.
Keith: It's a different model, but— All the people working on the show had worked in the other model because HBO's model was brand new. So maybe they were like, hey, we don't need to play to sweeps, and that's fine.
Art: Well, but I mean, there is a lot of new here. 
Sylvi: There's a lot of changes that happen in this episode that don't— I think to be fair to how you're reading it, also don't come to— Like, don't feel as big until the next season starts and you notice that like, yes, things have changed. 
Keith: Yeah, I would love that to be true. 
Sylvi: Where they're like, yeah, Tony's the boss now, both in title and reality, as opposed to how they've been operating all this season. There's, I think, some crucial things that are out in the open now are Tony's told the guys that he's seeing a psychiatrist. That's not a secret anymore.
Darcy: Mm-hmm.
Sylvi: There's the, We know for a fact that the investigation is still gonna be happening, and that— And now that there's, there's the added element of knowing some of the, some of the key players are in custody. Um, I guess I just wanna like, allay any concerns that this is going to just feel like they're doing season— Like they're gonna be back to where they were in the pilot when—
Keith: Yeah, I wanna be clear, I'm not concerned as much about this like, things not moving forward, as I am surprised that the last 10 minutes of the finale felt like settling in more than blowing up.
Darcy: Yeah, I guess to me, I see that as really highlighting to me the sort of constant both anxiety of Tony of like, I want to maintain my family. I don't want my kids to see me the way that I see my mom or that like, my relationship with Uncle Junior. And he also won't do anything different to like, make that come to reality, you know. So to me, it is appropriate that the season ends with him, you know, having just tried to kill his mom and like, knowing his uncle is in prison.
Keith: And having almost been killed by Artie.
Darcy: Having almost been killed by Artie and him just being like, isn't it so great to have a family that loves you and to love each other? Yeah, we should do that. It's really important for me, a stable person.
Keith: And it is an expression, you know, he wants to make things work with his mom and his uncle too. Like, it's not like he's lying, but he doesn't have that in a real world.
Art: I'm not sure he wants to make things work with Junior anymore.
Keith: He has wanted. He has wanted.
Darcy: Yeah.
Sylvi: In the past. Yeah.
Darcy: It took him hearing his mom say, yeah, I guess he can die, for him to be like, well, okay, I guess this relationship is done for.
Sylvi: It really did.
Keith: Yeah. Well, he thought it was Jimmy.
Darcy: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keith: He killed Jimmy thinking Jimmy's the one who tried to get me killed.
Sylvi: Should we— Should we, um—
Art: Well, I don't think that's right, but yes.
Sylvi: No, he killed Jimmy because he thinks Jimmy is a, a rat.
Keith: I assumed that it was both because there's a point where he's talking to Melfi about it, and he's like, I think I know who did it, and I took care of it. And that was before he heard the FBI tape, but after Jimmy was whacked.
Art: Hmm.
Darcy: I assume he's lying to Melfi.
Sylvi: Oh, I thought that was because he had assumed it was Junior who did it at that point still.
Keith: Mm-hmm. Um, I thought there was a point— I mean, this is— It's not super important. I had assumed he thought it was Junior, and then transitioned to focusing on Jimmy when they found out Jimmy was for sure the rat. And then maybe was, like, hoping that Junior wasn't actually involved so that he didn't have to kill Junior.
Art: I mean, being a— Jimmy being a rat wouldn't mean he would try to kill Tony. The FBI doesn't want you to do murders.
Keith: Yeah. True.
Darcy: Well— Yeah, I guess that's more a CIA thing.
Sylvi: The FBI don't want you to do murders.
Art: Right. The FBI doesn't want you—
Keith: Well, yeah. 
Sylvi: They've got their own thing going on. 
Keith: Different people in the FBI want different kinds of people murdered at different points in history.
Sylvi: Yeah, I think that's— I think we can finally agree on it.
Art: Um, yes, I do not believe at any point Tony believes that Jimmy is responsible for the hit. I mean, they're all sitting around the house in the previous episode talking about how it's definitely Junior.
Keith: Yeah, I was surprised. That's why I was kind of surprised when he's like, I think I know who it is and I took care of it. And I was like, oh, okay. I guess he thought it was Jimmy.
Art: I think this scene is later.
Keith: Um, I can tell you exactly. I got an idea of who was behind it. Enough said. Okay. Maybe, maybe that's just me misinterpreting his casual use of tense. 
Sylvi: Possibly—
Art: Got it past tense.
Keith: I got an idea and enough said, taken care of. But instead he means like, I have got, or I have an idea.
Art: Yeah. This is uh, yeah. I got an idea. You know, you gotta say it with the accent.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Art: Um, should we, should we, should we start at the top?
Sylvi: We should get to the top because uh—
Art: Uh, my line I'm most surprised wasn't in the summary, just right in the middle.
Sylvi: Was it? Can I guess?
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Big tits, small feet. I hit in any man's league.
Art: Yeah, I was so— I so thought that was gonna be in the summary.
Sylvi: Yeah, I thought about it, but I was like, it's not— I, I, I was trying to not have it be as super duper long, and I needed to pick like, one bit that I like. Yeah, I guess I quoted two things, but cunnilingus and psychiatry beat huge tits and small feet, which— Put that in your tier list, everybody.
[audio from The Sopranos starts playing]
Tony: Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this.
[audio ends]
Sylvi: Yes! That's going to be a season-long button, I hope.
[audio from The Sopranos starts playing]
Melfi: Booty?
Tony: Pussy! Pussy!
Melfi: Pussy, booty.
[audio ends]
Sylvi: Oh, we did finally find out what happened to him. Junior ate him. Anyway, let's— Let's go to the top. This hit on Jimmy. It's— That line— Jimmy's insane to me, uh, saying that. I don't know why. It just made me like— I had to pause the episode. I was laughing so hard at it.
Keith: Well, how did he even notice how small her feet were? It was— I certainly didn't.
Sylvi: Well, he's a— I don't know if they were on camera.
Art: Well, when he's actually there, I'm not even sure that this woman's feet were on screen.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: But I just mean, I, I'm imagining myself in his position and how—
Art: I assume the actor had big feet.
Keith: Because the difference between big feet and small feet is not that much, size-wise.
Art: Well, I mean, it sounds like you're not perhaps as interested in feet as Jimmy is.
Keith: I guess I'm not as interested in feet, yeah, big or small. I just feel like, put me in that position and I wouldn't have been like— Because, okay, so you've gotta— I'm Jimmy. She opens the door. I see the tits. They're right there.
Darcy: I wish you had a telestrator you could be drawing on for this.
Keith: And then I go, check one, big tits. Immediately I go, gotta check out the feet. Look down. Could I tell from there? Hell yeah, small feet. Those are my two priorities.
Art: Well, I think you gotta have, you gotta have a foot standard in your mind going into it.
Keith: Right. Which I don't have. And you can write that down.
Art: I don't have a place to write. I guess I have—
Keith: Listeners, listeners, make note, I don't have a standard foot.
Sylvi: Yeah, please, uh— 
Art: Don't put in the newspaper that I have a standard foot.
Keith: Don’t put in the newspaper that I have a standard footsize.
Darcy: Keith has no standards for feet.
Keith: I have no standards.
Darcy: Send Keith the grossest feet, no standards.
Keith: High or low, yeah, show me a foot and I'll say, I guess that's a normal foot, I don't know.
Sylvi: Give us a 5-star review telling us what your standard foot is. Uh, mine's usually about 12 inches.
Art: There it is.
Keith: My favorite line in this scene is not the big tits, little feet, although I did write that down. It was when he asked, how's the hygiene over there? And then Chris says, I don't know, this is here. Which is hilarious.
Darcy: Woke king, Christopher.
Sylvi: There's some really funny, uh, Chris lines in the, like, this specific, uh, thing here. Like when he gets asked about like, um, uh, do I smell okay? And he's like, yeah, you smell like you, you smell like you bathed in like a bottle of Paco Rabanne or something like that.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: It's just good. I like, I like when Chris gets to be, be mouthy with people. He's usually the one getting shit on.
Keith: Yeah, and he's really good at it, and it's probably because he's had a lot of practice on the receiving end. 
Sylvi: Yeah, true.
Art: Murder Chris is very punchy.
Keith: Yeah. I really like this slow—.
Sylvi: He knows it's an audience that isn't gonna judge him afterwards, so he can practice his material.
Keith: What did he say? Smells like Paco Rabanne crawled up your ass and died.
Sylvi: Thank you. Yeah. That's it.
Art: Um, yeah. What do you think it's like— So the, the— That woman. 
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Yeah.
Art: She's in on this? Or she's not in on this?
Keith: She's— I think she's half in.
Art: She's like, I'm gonna be nice to this guy for 5 seconds and then he's gonna get murdered? Or she’s just like—
Keith: Yeah, and then don't— I think she— Be nice to this guy and then go in the other room and don't worry about it.
Art: Okay.
Keith: Although you probably hear the gun.
Art: Well, it's a silenced gun.
Keith: Oh, oh, it was a silenced gun. You're right. The other gun was not silenced. The fish gun. The fish gun was—
Sylvi: The fish gun was not silenced. I love the fish gun. Jesus Christ, I love the fish gun.
Art: Um, uh, I can't believe how chunky they made Jimmy's brains.
Sylvi: It got— It rules. I— We lost something when people were able to start doing convincing CGI gore.
Art: Yeah, I really— I would have loved to see the meeting they must have had about how chunky they were going to be and how they would do it, what the chunks are made— Like—
Keith: Yeah, well, there's, there's skull, right?
Darcy: Uh-huh.
Keith: I know from, uh, you know, the JFK assassination, that there's just, you know, the entry hole is small, but the exit hole is huge because your skull and your brains, it's like a swirling mass that blows out the front of your head. And so that's a chunk to get shot in the head. That's chunky.
Art: Yeah. But I mean, I just feel like we usually get a more discreet picture of this in our media.
Keith: Yeah, this was good. I think, I think they should do this more often.
Art: Yeah. Because when we see that, later we see the body and the exit wound is huge.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Yeah. And that's how— I think these guys are talking about JFK in the writers' room.
Sylvi: I mean, yeah, I agree.
Art: We're gonna Jackie O that lamp, they said.
Keith: Ruined the air conditioner.
Art: Yeah, they're, they're losing their deposit on this room. I don't think they actually pay for the damages, but they're not— Yeah, whatever card they put down is getting maxed out.
Sylvi: I feel like they accepted that, uh, when they planned this though.
Keith: Um, do we have anything to say about this scene with, uh, Livia who shows up to the— Who escapes from the, the retirement community to, uh, to pretend to have Alzheimer's?
Art: I have so much to say about this.
Keith: By the way, I'm fully— Fake Alzheimer's, fake stroke.
Sylvi: That's my— I definitely think fake Alzheimer's.
Art: I don't think you can fake a stroke to fool the hospital.
Keith: I think that you can.
Darcy: Well, can you fake a stroke?
Keith: I think that you tell the nurse.
Art: How do you fake a stroke like you and me? If you faked a stroke right now, you would be able to trick me, right?
Keith: Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Art: But I think if you faked a stroke in a hospital, they would look at your brain and be like—
Keith: Here's my position.
Darcy: There's not a blood clot in here.
Keith: Here's my position. They're at the retire— They're in the nursing room of the retirement community. She tells a nurse that she's having stroke-like symptoms because she knows what stroke-like symptoms are. And then she starts acting sick. They don't test her to make sure it's real. They just bring her to the hospital right away.
Art: Hmm. I guess we'll have to keep track of it because they're definitely gonna— This is definitely gonna come up again.
Keith: This is definitely gonna come up again. I think that both are fake. That's my position. Official position. [Art: All right, I’ll make a note.] I spent enough episodes of this TV show going, does she know what she's saying when she's saying stuff to Junior? I think so, but it's unclear. And she 100% knew everything she was saying. This woman is lucid and she's faking her stroke. Nothing she says is true. Nothing is real unless it helps her. And then she'll tell you exactly what uh, Uncle Junior was gonna do to, uh, the restaurant in order to make Tony Soprano blow it up to help him.
Art: Yeah, I'm not even sure how she knew all of that, but, um—
Keith: Yeah, she talks a lot with Junior.
Art: Well, that's true.
Sylvi: I like how you can kind of go either way on it.
Darcy: Does Junior know that Tony blew up the restaurant?
Sylvi: Yeah, that's—
Keith: Yeah.
Art: I mean, Junior might suspect.
Sylvi: Well, they had a whole confrontation about it.
Keith: Oh! Yes, Tony told Livia, can you talk to Uncle Junior and tell him not to fucking do this hit at my friend's restaurant? 
Art: Oh, that's right. 
Keith: And then that restaurant blew up.
Art: Yeah, I guess a reasonable person could figure this out.
Sylvi: And Junior was mad about that too, I think, wasn't he? Or am I thinking of an earlier argument?
Keith: Either way, it doesn't matter because she has primary source from Tony that I'm gonna do something about this. She was like, take care of it yourself, basically, is what she said.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Art: Mm-hmm. But I think the biggest clue that the Alzheimer's is fake, or whatever dementia she's faking, is that anyone who isn't important to convince about this, she isn't trying at all. The Dominican boyfriend just gets a shut up. The cop, shut up. Like, no one who's like, could be impressed by this, who being impressed by this doesn't suit her, doesn't even get a performance.
Keith: Oh, that's interesting. I had interpreted telling a cop to shut up as a symptom of Alzheimer's, as like, another physical—
Sylvi: I think that’s just Livia Soprano.
Art: I think anyone could tell a cop to shut up.
Keith: That's true.
Sylvi: That's true.
Darcy: They could and they should.
Keith: They could and they should. But it feels like it's an inappropriate thing to do, like socially.
Darcy: Like she's trying to play up the aggressive stuff.
Keith: Right, exactly. The confusion, the aggression. Like she can't even tell that he's a cop. That's, that's how I read it. But I think that, I think that regardless of how we spin it, she's faking it. At dinner she's almost totally lucid until she like, shit-eatily pretends to not know who Artie is.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: She's like not even trying.
Art: Um, uh, we've moved on. We've moved past 2 of my, my notes here though. I do want to flag Meadow mentioning Georgia O'Keeffe is like a very funny, very funny 16-year-old thing to do.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: And she's right.
Art: But it's narratively important to know that AJ was jerking off.
Keith: Yes.
Sylvi: It is also really— Yeah, it's very funny. Yeah.
Keith: Um, that's a really funny scene.
Art: This episode is 10 minutes longer than most other episodes, and they had 15 seconds so you could see the bed shaking before AJ notices his grandmother is outside.
Darcy: Yeah, like, really going to town there, bro. You don't gotta do it like that.
Sylvi: He's 13.
Darcy: I know, but even more important, you should take it easy while you're young, man. 
[Sylvi laughter]
Keith: The, um, is the, the next scene is, um, with Melfi?
Sylvi: Uh, next scene is, is, is him telling Melfi about the— That they're testing for Alzheimer's again. Yeah.
Keith: Yeah.
Art: But first—
Sylvi: And that this is when—
Art: This is the first scene where Tony has just an unbelievable outfit in this episode. Tony's fits in this episode are amazing.
Sylvi: Menswear icon.
Art: Yeah. Um, I love his boat murder outfit. We're not there yet, but that might be the best one. And he also has like, a, a great bathrobe in the second half of this episode he wears a couple times in a row.
Keith: Oh, yeah.
Sylvi: I— This show has so many robes I want.
Keith: Um, so, I'm so happy that in an earlier episode, I noticed Melfi's sort of manic fervor to solve Tony Soprano like he's a map in National Treasure. And I'm happy because she does it again in this episode.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Art: I'm not sure that you're supposed to diagnose your patient's relatives.
Darcy: No.
Art: That you haven't spoken to.
Darcy: Also misdiagnosed, very critically here.
Sylvi: Oh, get her ass.
Darcy: I mean, mm, okay. Are we— Do we want to have this conversation? Do we want to keep going?
Keith: Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's have it. Well, first of all, I have the button. Do we want to hear the button? Because I— Another thing that I found notable about this scene is that she wants to describe borderline personality disorder and then goes, well, hold on, let me grab the DSM-IV. And so she grabs it and then basically reads one sentence from it and then goes, never mind, I'll just say what I want to say about it. I thought it was very funny to, like, talk about the DSM-IV but then not really even use it. Okay, here we go.
Sylvi: Average person talking about borderline personality disorder.
[audio from The Sopranos starts playing]
Melfi: Isn't it interesting how this memory loss has cropped up right after you failed to be killed in the carjacking? You think it was a carjacking?
Tony: Of course not. But I got an idea who was behind it, and— Enough said. You don't want to go there.
Melfi: Maybe you don't want to go there.
Tony: What are you talking about?
Melfi: Well, let's track it. Right around the time of the shooting, you were having hallucinations of that Isabella figure? The protective, loving mother. Your subconscious was shouting something at you.
Keith: It's like your dreams have already solved the case.
Melfi: On the day before the shooting, you said to me that she kept going on yet again about news stories of mothers throwing their babies out of windows.
Tony: Well, why don't we put our fucking cards on the table here? What do you think? My mother tried to have me whacked 'cause I put her in a nursing home?
Melfi: In your worst dreams, a duck flies off with your penis. Castration.
Tony: Hey, my mother never went after my basket.
Melfi: No, not literally. Look, ordinarily a patient is helped to make his own breakthroughs, but your life is in danger, so, okay, I'm willing to put the cards on the table. I say what your mother has, at the very least, is what we call borderline personality disorder.
Tony: A borderline personality disorder?
Melfi: Let me read to you from the DSM-IV, okay? Definitions of the condition. A pattern of unstable relationships. Affective instability. It means intense anxiety, joylessness. These people's internal phobias are the only things that exist to them. The real world, real people are peripheral. These people have no love or compassion. Borderline personalities are very good at splitting behavior, creating bitterness and conflict between others in their circle.
[sound of a glass table shattering]
Tony: You twisted, fucking bitch. That's my mother we're talking about, not some fuck-up in Attica, stab you in the shower. See, we're through, you and I. We're finished. And you're lucky if I don't break your fucking face in 50,000 pieces.
Melfi: Okay.
[audio ends]
Keith: I mean, so there's a lot there.
Sylvi: He's terrifying. He's terrifying here.
Keith: Yeah. 
Darcy: Mm-hmm.
Sylvi: There is a lot there, yeah.
Keith: Uh, uh, if you didn't watch the episode, he shatters, like, a huge glass coffee table table and just like throws it, um, and then gets extremely close to her face while threatening her, like an inch, half an inch. Um, but let's talk about the DSM-IV.
Darcy: Yeah.
Sylvi: The most terrifying thing in the episode.
Darcy: Mm.
Keith: Darcy, what do you actually think Livia has?
Darcy: Uh, uh, I would not feel— Okay, serious answer. I would not feel comfortable diagnosing her because I don't know what her fucking trauma history is, which is the whole problem with most personality disorder diagnoses in the first place, is that they're used to label someone's behavior without actually trying to understand where it came from or what it's doing or how to help. [Keith: Okay but for fun?] Especially people with borderline— But for fun, narcissistic personality disorder. Okay, at least.
Keith: Uh, to be fair, Melfi also does say at least about borderline.
Darcy: Yeah, but part of this is also that, like, borderline is such a fuck— It is, it is maybe the most like, fucking boogeyman like, mental health diagnosis out there.
Keith: Yeah, I know a lot of people who were— Had really hard time as teenagers, were diagnosed with borderline like, out of desperation, and then like, 10 years later or more, a doctor was like, you don't have that.
Darcy: Yeah. Yep. Uh, it's—
Keith: I mean, I know like, four people who that happened to.
Sylvi: Yeah. I—
Darcy: Yeah. And I should say, like, okay, diagnosing is very complicated. I generally avoid it as much as possible because I feel like in most cases it is more demeaning and unhelpful, especially the way it works in the American medical system where you are really only diagnosing because insurance says you have to most of the time. Um, fuck, I forgot what else I was gonna say. Uh…
Keith: There's another highly gendered personality disorder that also seems like maybe is Livia. Which is histrionic personality disorder. That's what I was thinking when she said borderline, and I was like, borderline? What?
Sylvi: Yeah. You missed the other diagnosis.
Keith: You missed the other one that you give to women.
Darcy: Mm-mm.
Keith: Yeah.
Darcy: Uh, bipolar, in my—
Art: That's clearly missing though—
Darcy: In my professional experience, psychiatrists love to give women bipolar just because they're upset sometimes.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Darcy: Sorry, Art.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Art: No, that's okay.
Sylvi: I know about that.
Art: Yours was much more, uh—
Sylvi: I think they were right though.
Darcy: I mean, you know, that's the problem. A blind squirrel, etc., etc.
Art: But as we find out in the— In the— Well, in the last episode and also in the tape, it was about selling the house, not about the nursing home. Come on. 
Darcy: Mm-hmm. True. Well, and also just that she hates her son.
Art: Yeah, but I mean, she hates a lot of people.
Darcy: No, I think she hates everyone, especially herself, probably.
Keith: Yeah.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: Um, God, when fucking Artie shows up with the duck ragu and he says it's northern and she almost fucking vomits all over it. 
Darcy: I know.
Sylvi: It's so fucking fu— That whole—
Keith: She was so excited about it until she heard it was northern. She didn't even care until she heard—
Sylvi: She cannot be happy about anything. She cannot let anything be good. It, it rocks. It's such good character writing. Um, I adore that scene. Because like— We're jumping ahead a little bit here, but Artie's face when he finds out what happened is some like grade A fucking shit for me. I love that.
Keith: Yeah. Um, I, I really like the Artie stuff in this episode. I was—
Sylvi: Yeah.
Darcy: No, it's really good.
Keith: He was really present in the first couple episodes and then he was gone for a while, and I'm happy that he's back. Um, I really like the— This connection that Tony has to like, a non-mob thing.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Darcy: Yeah.
Sylvi: 'Cause you need something like that outside of just his kids.
Keith: Mm-hmm.
Darcy: Did you all— I mean, I guess I'll ask Keith. Keith's the only one who hasn't seen this one. Did you think that Tony was gonna tell Art the truth?
Keith: Uh, I did think that he was gonna tell him the truth.
Darcy: Me too!
Keith: But then the twist was not when he didn't, but when Artie already knew that Tony did it to help him and that he didn't even care.
Sylvi: He, like, figured out the logic of it [Keith: Right.] Like, immediately. Which I, I kind of love. I love— I'll be real. I was fujoing out a little bit because I love how much they know each other. Oh, yeah. He did it to help him!
Keith: I had sort of thought that Livia just broke the whole thing. Just said, yeah, your uncle was going to— Or his uncle was going to do a hit. and he thought that he could save you by blowing up the restaurant. 'Cause he was so sure when he was like, you did it to help me, you bent psycho, or whatever.
Sylvi: Yeah, I just think that comes from being lifelong friends.
Keith: Maybe, maybe. But Livia knew. I just know that Livia knew. Because Tony had said, I don't want him to ruin my friend's restaurant by killing someone in there. Um, and of course she probably sees that as a weakness in her son, who she hates, her stupid, weak son who she should have killed.
Sylvi: She has to stab his eye out.
Art: But we're, we're moving past an Artie scene to get to another Artie scene.
Sylvi: We are, I'm sorry. I got, I got very excited.
Art: Um, 'cause we get, we get Carm and Ro, which is a, a pairing we will be seeing more of.
Sylvi: Oh yeah.
Art: Um, eating at New Vesuvio, and Artie comes over and just, and, and kind of goes on and on about, well, he talks about a bug they found in their salad, which is something that I would not want to be reminded of while I was eating at the same restaurant.
Keith: Yeah. You know, I've had a bug in my salad. I lived. But, but also I'm not Carmela Soprano.
Art: Yeah. And then we get Father Phil for the start of his—
Sylvi: This fuckin’ guy.
Keith: He's just the worst.
Sylvi: He's the worst. I love that there are like actual murderers and criminals, but the guy who has the most hate from us is this fucking piece of shit priest.
Art: I think now is the appropriate time. We've talked about enough of the components that I can introduce my conspiracy theory here, which is that much as he got Jackie's watch, which we find out in this scene, from Jackie dying and comforting Ro, that he is pushing Artie to put Tony in prison so that he can get expensive shit from Carmela.
Darcy: Oh yeah!
Sylvi: I see it.
Darcy: Oh, 100%!
Sylvi: I really see it now that you say it. I had never thought of that before, but you're, like, fully right.
Art: Yeah, I never thought about it either until it's like, that must be like a 6-figure watch, right? The Rolex that an acting boss of a crime family wears?
Darcy: Yeah, for sure. 
Keith: Is it a Rolex?
Art: Is it inappropriate to take that as a gift in any context? 
Keith: Um, if it's a Rolex, I guess it would be— I don't know.
Art: Yeah, I don't know if it's a Rolex, and they don't show the face of the watch, I don't think.
Keith: No, but if it's a Rolex, I guess it would be a Rolex Daytona, which is like the biggest one.
Art: Yeah, but it's a lot of money.
Keith: It's a lot of money. I mean, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that this is a really, really expensive Rolex Daytona. That's what I'm— That's where I'm—
Sylvi: Yeah, sure.
Darcy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Art: And I don't think your priest should be taking—
Keith: Your priest shouldn't be wearing a Rolex Daytona at all. Hold on, I'm sharing a picture of a Daytona that looks like this watch. 
Art: Uh-huh, that could definitely be it.
Keith: You can, you can even see the black turnograph dial circles on the thing. Oh, hold on. I was comparing it directly to this image here. I mean, that's a really, really expensive watch.
Art: Mm-hmm.
Keith: Don't be a priest and want that. Don't be a priest and even want it, let alone have it.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Damn.
Sylvi: Yeah. No, you're 100% right on this. Jesus.
Art: I mean, this might be a fake because it's a TV show, but yeah, sure.
Sylvi: But it's definitely meant to look like it. Like, you can see this, it's got the same band and like the same—
Keith: It's got the same band, it's got the same bezel, or at least a very similar bezel. It's got a similar dial. Uh, the worst thing though in this episode is he's trying to, quote unquote, trying to give— Not episode, in this scene— Uh, trying to give Carmela a compliment about her cooking as a way to give himself a compliment. He's like, oh, but we made— Carmela made this amazing sauce. Oh, well, I was there too. And then Carmela's like, you made that sauce on— That was you that made the sauce. So he was just complimenting himself.
Art: Yeah. I mean, we've known for a while that he's a total fucking shitbag, but in this episode, they're really like, we're going to strip the pretense away and he's just going to be a shitbag for the whole thing.
Keith: Yeah. Total shitbag. This guy sucks. I hate him. I hate him more than anyone else in the show until there's someone else that they—
Sylvi: I don't just hate this man. I hate all men.
Keith: There's another character that they really needed you to know was bad before they killed him. killed him, and that's Mikey. [Sylvi: Yeah.] We knew that Tony thought that Mikey had fuckfaceitis, but in the last couple episodes, the show wanted to go like, no, no, no, he's got fuckfaceitis for sure. He's diagnosed.
Sylvi: Its very serious. 
Keith: He— The last thing his wife does is flip him off before he dies.
Sylvi: The last thing he says is, take a paracetamol.
Keith: Uh, take a Midol. 
Sylvi: Take a Midol, yeah, sorry.
Art: Um, and that's so funny. Then she's on the fucking news. Like, the last thing he said is that he loved me.
Keith: And Midol is worse. That's the worst thing to say.
Art: It is a worse thing to say. Uh, I'm— Some of these people might be bad guys, but yeah, if you, if you— If I had a, if I had a gun with, with two bullets and it was Mikey and Phil and I don't know, who else do we not like?
Keith: Junior?
Art: Junior.
Keith: Livia?
Art: I'd shoot Phil twice.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Darcy: Oh, I'd shoot Phil and then Livia.
Sylvi: I'd shoot Phil and Livia. I don't— I'll let time handle Livia.
Darcy: That's true. Yeah.
Keith: Time has not handled her fast enough. She's causing a lot of problems in her twilight years.
Sylvi: I'm not her relative, so it's less of a problem for me.
Darcy: Yeah, you just get to like, watch and laugh. And that's understandable.
Keith: Well, what if you explode in a restaurant that she lets explode?
Art: No one was in the restaurant.
Sylvi: No one was there.
Darcy: Yeah. No thanks to her.
Keith: That's what I'm saying.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: This is all her fault. 
Art: I hear Livia called people and told them to go to the restaurant.
Keith: She was calling all her old friends trying to get their sons to go to restaurant, the restaurant.
Sylvi: That lovely boy Arthur needs help with his business.
Art: Go to Vesuvio after dark.
Sylvi: She wouldn't eat after dark. 
Darcy: Don't call him though. Yeah, don't call, don't call, don't eat.
Sylvi: Yeah, there could be prowlers.
Art: Yeah, Father Phil is a shitbag.
Sylvi: Father Phil is a shitbag. He's a very funny shitbag. I think he's like, really good at, um, like, how do I— Feeling like a drowned rat with his facial expressions when he's specifically— When he like, something isn't going his way.
Art: Uh, oh, the scene later, and we'll get to it, but the scene where Carmela just like, fucking reads him, like—
Sylvi: It's great.
Darcy: Ohh!
Art: And he's just the drownedest rat I've ever seen.
Sylvi: Yeah, he's, he's fully, uh, I'm just a little guy and it's my birthday.
Keith: When he's Charlie Browning away and then turns around to get the DVD that she accused of he bought for himself and pretended like it was for her. And he just like then has to Charlie Brown back. It's so funny.
Art: It's so fucking funny.
Sylvi: I like— I want to be clear. Shout out to Paul Schulze for doing this. We, we just hate the guy you're playing.
Keith: No, fuck you, Paul Schulze.
Sylvi: Yeah. If I see you in the street, two bullets.
Keith: Two bullets.
Sylvi: Like Keith said.
Keith: Even if Livia's there.
Sylvi: Even if, even if Livia's there, which would be a bit of a miracle at this point in 2026.
Darcy: Hmm.
Keith: Yeah. Maybe I might tell the news instead of—
Sylvi: Yeah, yeah. 
Keith: The fake priest from The Sopranos brought Livia back to life.
Sylvi: I think he's a fake priest, but possibly a real necromancer?
Keith: Real Jesus.
Sylvi: Um, what did I say?
Keith: You said necromancer. That's the— But that's the same. He does do that in the Bible.
Sylvi: He does do that. Do we have any— Do we have more to say about this scene at Vesuvio, or should we keep it, uh, keep things rolling?
Keith: Let's talk about, uh, I mean, I guess— Do you— If you want to talk about the rat in the mouth of— In Jimmy's mouth.
Sylvi: No, we talked about that. I mean, like, that's not— I don't think that's like a thing that needs a deep dive. 
Keith: [crosstalk] Okay, so there’s the FBI tape.
Sylvi: [crosstalk] It’s a message. They gave a message. Yeah, the FBI. I think the FBI meet is the next scene that, like, is really important to talk about. I find this dude who's running this trying to relate to Tony so fucking funny.
Keith: I love him. He's really good.
Art: Well, he in some ways is not trying to relate to Tony.
Sylvi: No, but like, in— He's— He's— It's— it's a fun, like, thing that he's trying to do by both being like, listen, we're both Italian guys. We're—we're— We're not so different, you and I, but also we're very different. I don't know. It's like—
Keith: We're on opposite sides of the law, but we— We have other— Other things in common, religion, cuisine, matriarchy, dot, dot, dot. Get it?
Sylvi: His— I just found his mind games very entertaining, especially with Agent Harris just standing there giving Tony the pleading eyes emoji most of the time.
Keith: He has a very Italian working for the FBI look to him too. He has a great vibe, I think.
Sylvi: Oh yeah, also worth mentioning that Agent, uh, Grosso, the guy who broke the, the, um, plate at their place during the, um, like, search warrant— That's the words I'm looking for— He's also there. Which again, I think it's really funny that they just keep being like, let's add more and more Italians to whatever we have to do with Tony Soprano. Let's see if— Will this work? One more, maybe?
Keith: Oh, also shout out to this guy for saying culinary, which I really found fun. Instead of culinary, he said culinary.
Sylvi: Okay, fancy.
Keith: Yeah. I think he said— He also says, uh, like the, uh, nursing home, uh, uh, woman who says some Italian phrase and none of them get it. I think that he does the same thing. He says an Italian word and Tony's like, what are you saying?
Sylvi: Yeah. Every time that happens, it's funny.
Keith: I don't remember the word, but, uh, but yeah, we— They basically just play the scene that we've heard before from Pine— What is it? Shady Oak?
Sylvi: Greengrove.
Keith: Greengrove, sure. Uh, I mean, I fucking— I knew it. I knew that there was no way they weren't gonna tap that place.
Sylvi: Yeah, no, absolutely. I mean, like, it— It— The— Even if you don't think it before, like, the stuff with Jimmy starts becoming a plot point, after that like, you've seen him there before already.  It should— It's like, it's a real A to B thing, I think. Um, I mean, I, I think they would have tap— I, I do also think it's funny when the guy's like, they told me it was a waste of money to tap this, it was my idea. And I'm like, I don't think it was. I think you got told by that guy who was snitching for you.
Keith: Um, I like when he, uh, when they play the tape and they stop it and he like reaches back out to keep playing.
Sylvi: Mm-hmm. So does anybody— Where are they meeting? It just looks like an abandoned warehouse. Not warehouse but like an abandoned apartment.
Keith: Looks sort of like a random shack. Yeah, yeah.
Sylvi: Uh, it was just— I don't, I don't know, it felt like they entered Stalker for a minute or something.
Keith: I checked, it wasn't an Italian word. He said colloquy. So I mean, a word that I believe that Tony wouldn't know. Not, not another joke about him not really knowing Italian.
Sylvi: Okay, well, we can pretend he said it. We can just pretend. Uh, he said it with an Italian accent, which makes it an Italian word.
Art: Mm-hmm. That is how Italian works, yes.
Sylvi: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker D: Yeah.
Sylvi: My grandmother was Italian. I'm allowed to say this. Um, I can say things. I can say, uh, I can make broad generalizations.
Keith: Sorry, you mean your grandma?
Sylvi: I mean my nonna, if I'm being real with you. Do— We talked about the next— Sorry, first of all, is there more with the FBI stuff that you guys want to talk about here? Because I, as much as I enjoy this scene, I actually don't have a ton personally to say about it. I think it's like, a really good like, propulsive scene, but not something I, I have a lot to dig into.
Art: I agree.
Keith: Uh, yeah, I really, I really like the camera angles here. I really like— They keep showing Tony in the foreground. It's a very small space, so they do these tight shots of Tony in extreme close-up, and then one of the other officers in the background. They're playing a lot with the focus. Sometimes, uh, you know, everyone's kind of in focus. Sometimes you've got, like, Tony's extremely highlighted, uh, and then this agent whose name I don't remember is, like, super blurry. This is a show that is using planes of focus intentionally, and we love to see it.
Sylvi: Mm-hmm.
Keith: Shout out to not always constantly shooting wide open and having everything in the background blurred out.
Sylvi: No, I really, I really—
Keith: That when it happens, I actually notice it.
Sylvi: Mm-hmm. I, I'm just double-checking some, some things. Yeah, I mean, like, uh, we've gushed a lot about the lighting of the show, and I think— I'm looking at some of the episodes we've done it on, and it seems like Phil Abraham, uh, the cinematographer, is involved.
Keith: Shout out Phil Abraham.
Sylvi: In a few, a few of those. So yeah, man, shout out, you do good work. Um, and gonna be on the show till it— Like, in some capacity until it's over. Um, I know we talked about how there's gonna be a change-up in the, uh, writing room, but, um—
Keith: Oh yeah, I forgot about the change-up in the writing room.
Sylvi: Oh yeah, I mean, there's a— I don't know how many people— You know, I think you know about this more than I do, Art. I know that there's some additions. I don't know who the exits are specifically.
Art: Um, there's, there's, there's a not small amount of exits.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Art: Um, and I think there's a very funny exit coming out after next season. That's a tease for 7 episodes from now.
Keith: A very funny exit. I can't wait to hear about the very funny exit.
Art: You gotta keep listening.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: All right. I guess I'll tune in.
Sylvi: Yeah, you better. Damn. Um, uh, we talked about— Next up is the Artie and Livia scene, which we did talk about. Uh, is there anything we missed there when we, we got into it? I, I, I mean, echoing Keith, I like that Artie gets the, the B/C plot. I feel like him and Carmela's are kind of like, equal in terms of screen time. Um, and yeah, I mentioned I really like the performance here when he— Like, just the way his like face falls when— I think I have a screenshot of it— When he finds out about the—Yeah, I do— When he finds out about the, um, the arson is really, really good. Uh, there we go.
Keith: It is really— 
Sylvi: It’s great.
Keith: This guy just shit his pants.
[group laughter]
Sylvi: Like, he looks—
Keith: he—
Sylvi: Yeah, he like— He shit his pants and his heart broke at the same time.
Keith: It rocks, like his best friend shit his pants. That's what he's learning.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: His shit— His— Artie's best friend shit Artie's pants.
Sylvi: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and he just put them on and found out.
Keith: That's what that was?
Sylvi: Oh no!
Keith: I drove here in these! 
Art: My pants!
Sylvi: Oh wow.
Art: He should have brought his driving pants.
Keith: He should have brought his driving pants.
Art: Rookie mistake.
Sylvi: Also, something I think is really funny when you're on team Livia's faking it is her asking about Artie's mom, him saying she died 6 months ago, and then her saying, give her my regards.
Keith: And she's still on that crazy diet after learning that she's dead. And I love the— [Sylvi: I mean, in a way.] There's a real reaction there from Artie of like, just sort of uncomfortably laughing at the old woman, like, politely laughing, not laughing at her, but like uncomfortably laughing with her politely because you don't know what to say to someone who you told your mom is dead and she's still trying to talk to you like she's alive.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Good acting.
Sylvi: I mean, that is—
Keith: Good writing.
Sylvi: They, they do nail the, um, trying to converse with someone who is, who is struggling with Alzheimer's/dementia.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Uh, from the, the side of the characters who are talking to Livia.
Keith: And, you know, it, it makes sense why Livia would tell him the whole truth, not just because she wants to hurt Tony, but because we've seen before that she seems like, willing to internalize one thing about everyone that she knows. Chris is the guy who put in her curtains or whatever, put the new windows in or something. Artie is the guy who calls his mother every day. And so she's doing a favor for the guy that she wishes her son was more like.
Art: Sure.
Keith: In that one specific way.
Art: I also think she's still just trying to get her son murdered.
Keith: I think she's still just trying to get her son murdered too.
Darcy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keith: But it makes sense that it's— That she does it where she also is like, I'm gonna tell this guy what my stupid-ass son did to his restaurant.
Art: Yeah, definitely.
Keith: 'Cause he's a good boy, he calls his mom every day.
Art: Even though she's dead.
Keith: Even though she's dead.
Darcy: That's what makes him so good.
Art: And I’m pretending not to know.
Sylvi: Maybe she just knows about the Ouija board he uses every night.
Darcy: Oh.
Keith: I want some duck ragu.
Sylvi: Damn, wait, duck?
Keith: Yeah, so this is fun.
Sylvi: Interesting.
Keith: Interesting. Duck. And that's not the only thing.
Darcy: Oh my God.
Keith: That's not the only time that that shows up.
Sylvi: That's interesting.
Keith: Because, uh, so after Melfi recontextualizes the duck thing as his mother is the duck who's castrating him, um, uh, Carmela calls her a peculiar duck. And then later in the episode, Artie calls her an odd bird.
Darcy: Oh my God.
Sylvi: It rocks, dude.
Keith: It rocks.
Sylvi: It's fucking great.
Keith: It's so good. It's really good.
Sylvi: I, I really love this show. I love it. One of the reasons why I also love the duck stuff so much is again, because I, if I'm remembering right, I'll find this interview because I think it is safe to share with you guys now because it was a thing— It was a season 1 specific interview between David Chase and… Holy fuck, I'm blanking right now. I'll, uh, and I'm gonna be super embarrassed that I'm blanking right now. Um, it's, it's David Chase and Peter Bogdanovich, which is why I'm very embarrassed I forgot the name. Um, but they talk— I— In that they mention that the ducks were kind of like a happy accident when they were filming the intro, and then once they had the image of it, they were like, okay, let's work this in, which I like a lot more than like, we planned to have this thing be the, the arc, the arc animal that showed up at all— Like, I don't think you could— I don't think you necessarily— Every time someone does a, uh, has a very planned symbol, it's bad. But when someone is able to take something that comes up organically and weave it into the rest of their, their like, art, I think it's really cool. It's something that makes me very excited.
Keith: Yeah. And I like that they've kind of changed the meaning of it, or, or they've split the ducks from the pool and the duck in the dream are, like, different, like— Or ducks is family, and so you have the ducks that are with him that he loves that are flying away and making him sad, but then you also have the dream duck who's stealing his penis. 
Art: Mm-hmm.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: It's very interesting that like, the ducks are not a positive symbol of family. They're a symbol of family that can be positive or negative, which I think is fascinating.
Sylvi: Yeah, I mean, I think that's like, kind of one of the, um, something that they— What am I trying to say here? It kind of ties into the way— To Tony's sessions with Melfi in a lot of ways, where it's like, everything in the show can be unpacked in so many ways, and like, they're making you do it as the viewer while a character does it more literally. 
Keith: Um, which is, I think, the best thing about this show, basically.
Sylvi: It rules. Yeah, it's— It, it doesn't, like, hold your hand too much, um, which I appreciate.
Keith: Um, you know, and I, and I feel like we've maybe— We've lived through, like, I don't know what, 15-plus years now of the, the curtains are blue conversation on both sides. And it's nice to have a show where, within the premise, they're inviting you to think about what's going on in the show by doing things like having a therapist who's analyzing the same stuff from Tony's life that we're watching.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: And then also, like, kind of having, you know, dreams mean something. Like, the, uh, the ultimate place where the curtains are just blue is dreams. But the show is like, no, no, we're gonna take the dreams more seriously. And it’s—
Sylvi: That's like, a very intentional choice too.
Keith: Yeah, sometimes it stands out. You know, in Twin Peaks, the dreams make sense because they don't— They live in a slightly different reality than we live in. Tony seems to live in our exact real reality, basically, except that sometimes you have a prophetic dream. But, you know, whatever.Who cares? It's fine.
Sylvi: Hell yeah, you know.
Keith: It's not Grey's Anatomy.
Sylvi: Man, that would be a hell of a Media Club Plus season, though.
Keith: That is a Media Club Minus for me.
Sylvi: For sure it is, man.
Darcy: Ooh!
Sylvi: I'm with you.
Darcy: Get their ass!
Art: I think at 2 episodes every 2 weeks, it would take us the rest of all of our lives. Yeah.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: I'm not— I'm not doing it. I'm not touching that shit. I don't need to hear fucking Chasing Cars again ever in my life.
Keith: I'm having a hard enough time convincing people to do X-Files.
Sylvi: Sorry, tangent, but my partner's been playing Tomodachi Life and has both Carmela Soprano and Fox Mulder on his island, among other people, obviously. And those two are getting married now.
Keith: Oh my God.
Art: Jess has Tony Soprano and Fox Mulder.
Sylvi: Tony Soprano is falling in love with our personal friends. It's really funny. Um, and yes, uh, anyway, the, um, the ducks. I, I love, I love this. She won't eat the ducks.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Uh, but she also is the duck.
Keith: She is the duck. Flailing cannibalism.
Sylvi: So this is a way to get things back on the rails.
Keith: He would— All he would have to say to get her back into eating the, the pasta would be like, no, no, don't worry, the duck that we killed is your son. This is your son duck. This would be cannibalism.
Sylvi: The duck we killed ripped your son's dick off.
Darcy: And ate it, and we let it digest it, and then killed it just in time.
Art: THe new foie gras.
Sylvi: We call this duck dick foie gras. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Darcy: It's illegal in… Oregon? 
Sylvi: Sure. I believe that.
Darcy: Washington? I feel like somebody just made foie gras illegal.
Keith: Uh, there's a lot of places where it is illegal. Unless it's ethical foie gras, which we've talked about on Friends at the Table before. Maybe it was a clapcast, I don't know.
Art: I don't know.
Keith: It's way sadder, look it up, it's sad.
Sylvi: Yeah, I don't wanna.
Keith: Find me talking about it on Friends at the Table using search dot—
Sylvi: Okay.
Keith: That dot whatever it is. What's the search URL?
Sylvi: Oh, it's on the transcripts of the table, but I don't remember the URL.
Keith: Hold on, I've got it, I've got it. search.fatt.fish. Just search for ethical foie gras and find me talking about it, and that's all you need.
Sylvi: Okay, I'm gonna do it. No results.
Keith: Really?
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Oh, come on. You have to befriend the duck, and when you befriend the duck, it trusts you enough to overdo it. 
Art: Oh, don't tell me this! 
Sylvi: I didn't wanna hear!
Art: I gotta— Stop it, what are you doing?
Darcy: Ohhh.
Keith: Well, so it's way better than shoving, you know, the, uh— Well, I can't remember what it's called.
Art: I don’t wanna—
Sylvi: I don't wanna know!
Art: I don't wanna do any of this! What's happening here?
Keith: Well, you definitely don't wanna stuff a tube down their throat and force-feed grains into their mouth. 
Sylvi: [crosstalk] Oh, right, well, going to the next scene— 
Keith: [crosstalk] That's unethical foie gras.
Art: Tony's like, so we're definitely gonna get rid of the jewelry.
Keith: It's really good, is the thing. It is really tasty.
Sylvi: I need to— We need to keep him— No, I don't wanna. I don't wanna know. Uh, this is the scene where they, uh, where Tony tells everybody, like, it's Paulie, Chris, and Silvio, that he knows for sure that Junior was behind the hit and that they need to put together a list of guys who need to be dealt with before dealing with Junior. Uh, the two being, uh, this, this soldier, Chucky Signor, Signore? I don't know how to pronounce this.
Keith: Signore?
Sylvi: I think it's Signore.
Art: I think they say Signore, yeah.
Sylvi: Um, uh, and then Mikey obviously above that. So yeah.
Keith: Um, great— Two great hit scenes. 
Sylvi: Yeah, very, very good. 
Keith: Yeah, high quality whackings.
Darcy: Yeah.
Sylvi: I thought we already talked about AJ.
Keith: That was high energy whacking. That was different.
Sylvi: Yeah, yeah, right, right, right. Um, the— Do we have anything to say? This scene at the Bing is really quick.
Keith: I—
Sylvi: the thing I like about it is when, uh, someone asks like, uh, Tony, how do you feel about this? And he just says, my ear hurts.
Keith: Great line. Yeah, the thing I love about this scene is the blocking, frankly. High-quality blocking.
Sylvi: Mm-hmm.
Keith: Just everyone's kind of arranged in a very interesting way while they're playing pool, a game about things being arranged in an interesting way.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: That's, to me, that's what pool is about. 
Darcy: Hmm.
Sylvi: I guess you're not wrong. I get, like, that is true, I suppose. [Keith: It is true.] I never thought of it with those words.
Keith: And that's why I think the duck scene does a lot more Friends at the table, family of shows.
Sylvi: Yeah, and to be forced to learn about foie gras against your will.
Keith: The duck trusts you enough to overeat.
Sylvi: Shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear about the— If the duck trusted me, I'm letting it go.
Keith: Um, this is a very important scene because we've already referenced it several times.
Sylvi: Yeah. Do you have— You have a button.
Keith: I do. This is a button on request.
[audio from The Sopranos starts playing]
Tony: What kind of person can I be where his own mother wants him dead?
Carmela: Problem is not with you. That woman is a peculiar duck. She always has been.
Tony: Yeah, but that's not the point.
Carmela: No, and she's gotten worse with age. You think my mother didn't warn me about her on my wedding night?
Tony: Please don't start with that again.
Carmela: Both your sisters left New Jersey so young, you would've thought there were contracts out on them.
Tony: I know.
Carmela: But you were different. You tried to make it work.
Tony: Two pricks with 9mm. My self-esteem is nonexistent right now.
Carmela: Well, I could kill her with these two hands. The next time I see her, it's gonna be—
Tony: You gotta play the concerned daughter-in-law. You gotta stay even-keeled for the sake of the business.
Carmela: Fuck the business. And let me tell you something, Tony. Dollars to donuts, this Alzheimer's thing is an act, so she can't be called on her shit.
Tony: Uncle Jun and I, we had our problems with the business, but I never should have razzed him about eating pussy. This whole war could have been averted. Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this.
[MCP cast laughter]
Carmela: You had to see a shrink because of the mother you had.
Tony: When I look at the guys now, all I feel is humiliation. I'll take care of my uncle, and I'll take care of Mikey P, and I'll get some satisfaction. But inside, I'll know.
[audio ends]
Sylvi: I love this scene.
Keith: Do we want to say what Tony Soprano will know inside?
Sylvi: That his— Yeah, that his mom and that his uncle wanted him dead?
Keith: I think that— I think that that's the— Yeah, that he's the kind of person that that would be true about.
Sylvi: Yeah. Like, I think that, that is, that is where I also, yeah, uh, kind of land on this, where it's like he's always gonna have to live with the fact that his— He knows that he's a person whose mother tried to get him killed, and like, that's a failing of his. [Darcy: Yeah.] Which—
Keith: And then he never should have talked about eating pussy.
Sylvi: Not actually is, man. But hey, you're— you've only been doing therapy for a little while.
Keith: Yeah. Well, and we— His therapist is on the record of why does he think he needs to be the one to solve these problems?
Sylvi: Mm-hmm.
Keith: In this case, the answer is that it might save his own life.
Sylvi: Yeah, yeah, it is sort of a— there are sort of material factors that affect things here.
Keith: Yeah, but there's a road that he built. He built the road that led here, and he's identified that road as Eating Pussy Avenue.
Sylvi: Computer, open Google Maps right now!
[Keith and Art laughter]
Art: Um, it's— I think it's really shocking how much he's talking about specific crimes with Carmela in this scene.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Well, they can't charge a husband and wife for the same crime.
Darcy: Hmm.
Art: You've got the worst lawyers.
Sylvi: Um, yeah, I mean—
Art: It's just, this isn't how it's handled in earlier episodes. He's not like, today we're going to— I can't remember a crime that's happened previously in this show. I'm trying to think.
Keith: Tell her about the guy in Maine—
Sylvi: We're about to rip off some Colombian drug dealer or whatever.
Art: Yeah, yeah. The guy in Maine or killing the Colombian. Wouldn't even talk about that money.
Sylvi: That's the thing, right? Like, I feel like whenever he's hid stuff, it's less to keep her from being implicated and more to just keep her— Like, from either being upset with him for endangering their daughter in the college case, or because he's a greedy little fucker.
Keith: Yeah, fair.
Sylvi: In the case of the money.
Keith: 'Cause in that same episode, if I remember correctly, Carmela's trying to figure out her own money to make.
Sylvi: She wants a backup plan in case the worst happens to Tony, yeah. Which ties into—
Keith: Right. Well, in case the worst happens to Tony, or in case she's gotta like, like, get divorced.
Sylvi: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, for her own security, I guess, is a better way to sum that up.
Keith: Right. Yeah, yeah. Either way. Uh, do you have anything specific to say about that scene? 
Sylvi: Yeah, we do see more of the, the anxieties that lead to the— I guess before I forget, the, the conversation where she is like trying to— We get— A couple episodes ago, we got the, the conversation where she's worried about what could happen, what happens to her family when Tony is— If Tony gets killed or something bad happens to him. Um, and we get a bit more of that anxiety later on when she's watching the news with, uh, Mikey's wife.
Keith: And earlier, because the, the conversation with, uh, Jackie's wife, she talks—
Sylvi: Rosalie, yeah.
Keith: Yeah, she talks about like— or, or Rosalie talks about, you know, that whatever Bonpensiero, you know, since Pussy's been missing. [Art: Angie.] Um, Angie Bonpensiero has been a shell since Pussy's been missing.
Art: Um, I lost my thought. No. Yeah.
Keith: Is it about—?
Art: Yeah, this is, this is, this is an odd, this is an odd one for me, but I guess it is important that the audience sort of like, sees Tony's newfound confidence here. 
Keith: Resolve.
Art: Yeah.
Sylvi: I mean, also, this is like— I think I, I like this scene in— Because it's an example of like, it's weirdly what Carmela wanted earlier in the season when she found out that Melfi was a, a woman psychiatrist. Like, she wanted to feel like someone that Tony could talk to about things like this. And [Keith: Right.] Here he is doing that.
Keith: Because he cannot talk to Melfi about this. [Sylvi: No.] He can only imply to Melfi about this, and she will—
Sylvi: She evidently will imply right back, right?
Keith: Um, yeah, Melfi realizes only for the first time that Tony might kill someone. That he's not—Like, we're very late in the game for this to be the first time you're concerned about this. It's, it's really funny.
Sylvi: It's pretty funny. Actually, here's a question. Did we accidentally skip the scene where he tries to— Um, no, we didn't. That— It's after the, the first hit. Never mind. I was worried we missed the, the Melfi making up scene.
Keith: No, that's a great scene, and I have a little bit of audio from it because it has one of my favorite Tony lines.
Sylvi: Um, then should we quickly touch on this hit before we go?
Keith: Yes.
Sylvi: Before we go to that scene?
Keith: The fish hit.
Sylvi: The fish hit. The iconic fish hit. I love— I love him pulling this gun out of this fish.
Keith: Chucky's terrified to see him. 
Sylvi: Understandably so.
Art: Oh yeah, Chucky 100% knows that he's about to get murdered, right?
Darcy: Like, right.
Sylvi: Yeah. Why the fuck else would you— Would Tony Soprano be chatting to you?
Keith: Well, because he's putting the stugats next door.
Sylvi: Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Art: But like, Chucky at this point has been told, you're going to murder Tony Soprano this week.
Keith: Right. 
Art: That's what we get. That's, I guess, what we skipped in that planning meeting is they map out the people they have to kill. And it's that Chucky's going to do this hit because Mikey is too high up now to do it.
Keith: Yeah. So— But they've got to get them both because they also have to get Junior. You can't kill Junior but leave Mikey alive.
Art: Right. But Chucky's the obvious first one because once Chucky's gone, there's this like, temporary safety, right? If this is the guy who's going to do the hit, then if you kill him, especially in this like, you know, we see for the rest of the episode, there's uncertainty of what's happened with Chucky, that in the time it takes him to refigure out this murder is time that you're not going to get murdered, right?
Keith: Yeah. Well, he's— Chucky is sleeping with the fishes. They even brought cinder blocks, which is a classic. Iconic mafia visual.
Art: Yeah. Oh, and Tony's murder shirt here is great. That's the— I would wear that shirt. Tony's murder Tommy Bahama.
Keith: Oh, yeah. Yeah. And his little cap. Or is that Chucky's cap?
Sylvi: That's Chucky's cap that he puts on after he shoots him. So it looks— So, like, from far away, it looks like Chucky is driving the boat. It's good. I like his hat.
Keith: Yeah, it's so funny. The hat is so good.
Sylvi: But yeah, I don't, I don't think I have much else to say other than it's a fun little set piece.
Keith: Yeah, like the, the music here is fun. I like that it cuts the second— Like it doesn't fade out. It just like, cuts instantly when they get to, when they cut to Melfi's office.
Art: Um, the gun in the fish mouth is funny.
Keith: The gun in the fish mouth is so— It is a comically large fish also.
Art: Mm-hmm. Did they have to like, go buy, right? That's what you have to believe happened here.
Keith: Yeah, they had to go buy a fish with cash and then—
Sylvi: But maybe it's what Chris caught when he— When Tony got shot and he was on that fishing trip.
Keith: Mm, yeah.
Sylvi: Maybe that's why he had that hat, to be like, guys, I caught a big one. We can use it for something cool later.
Keith: This is my hat that I wear to indicate I caught a big one.
Sylvi: Yeah!
Keith: Uh, Melfi leaves her office and sees Tony in the waiting room. He's just, I guess, politely waiting for her to eventually leave her office. Uh, this scares the shit out of her because last time he threatened to punch her face into 50,000 pieces.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Art: Uh, yeah, I think it's good to be polite to someone if you're returning to their life after threatening to murder them.
Keith: Uh, it's— Well, I guess it's just the implausibility of like I'm going to sit here for an undetermined amount of time until she walks out and then is startled by me. So it's like, polite on paper, but then the reality is that he has scared her. This maybe would be a phone call if I was Tony.
[Sylvi laughter]
Darcy: Yeah.
Sylvi: Um, the problem is, I don't know if he— I think he's also hesitant to talk on the phone right now, given the federal indictments. 
Keith: True. Letter under the door, potentially.
Sylvi: Yeah, some other thing.
Keith: Some other thing other than, like, scaring you by by just sitting where you weren't expecting me to be. 
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Uh, we just played some audio, but I just really liked a couple of lines from this, so I want to play it again.
Sylvi: I love when you have a button, Keith. Please.
Art: I hope it's the line I want it to be.
[audio from The Sopranos starts playing]
Tony: Look, I need to talk to you. 
Melfi: No!
Tony: Come on.
Melfi: I'm dialing 911 because you've given me no choice.
Tony: Come on.
Keith: There.
Melfi: If anything happens to me, they're gonna hear everything.
Tony: All right, look, you wanna talk, we'll go down to a coffee shop. There's plenty of people around.
Emergency services: Emergency services, may I help—
Tony: Hey, let me talk to you.
Melfi: Do I have your word that I'm in no physical danger?
Tony: Yes, I am humbled that you would take my word. Yes.
Melfi: What?
Tony: Oh, fuck me. Yes, you got my word.
[audio ends]
Keith: I love that line. Yes, I am humbled that you would take my word. Yes.
Art: Yeah, I, I wrote that one down. I, I love that. And I love that he like, he has this like, little thing to say and then she's like, what? And he's like, oh, fuck.
Keith: Yes. I'm humbled that you would take my word. I really like it. Uh, and I bet that he is, he likes Melfi.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: Yeah.
Art: And he doesn't want to hurt her anymore because she was right about everything.
Keith: And he's behaved very badly.
Art: Mm-hmm. Very badly.
Keith: Almost as badly as you can behave. He's almost hit peak bad behavior with her.
Art: I think it might be one of the worst. I mean, I don't know. I guess— Maybe I don't want to know, but I think it's one of the worst things that happen in a patient-doctor relationship is you break their furniture and threaten to murder them.
Keith: Right.
Art: I guess not murder—
Sylvi: Is that true, Darcy?
Art: Just badly injure.
Sylvi: Is that pretty bad?
Keith: If you—
Darcy: I'm sorry, what was the question? 
Sylvi: Is it bad to break someone's furniture and threaten to murder them if they're your patient?
Darcy: Yeah...
Keith: Is that one of the worst things that could happen? You agree that he's behaved pretty badly on the scale of things that are bad?
Darcy: Yes.
Keith: Yeah.
Darcy: Yeah, no, it's not great.
Keith: Yeah, I mean, there's only one step up and it would be actually murdering. That's the only thing worse than threatening to murder. I guess you get to beat him— Beat her up, but don't kill her. And then if she dies, then it would be— So there's two steps. So he's—
Sylvi: Okay. We figured out the, the— How— The growing escalation of badness here.
Keith: It's the third worst thing you can do to your therapist is threaten to kill her.
Sylvi: Well, when you put it like that [Keith: Yeah.] I got a call to make.
Darcy: That's true.
Sylvi: I don't have a therapist right now. Um, we're working on it.
Darcy: No, don't get one. They suck.
Keith: I mean, if, if Sopranos—
Sylvi: Layers to that, considering my mother's job.
Darcy: It's all a fucking scam. It's all a fucking scam. Don't worry about it. Tony's right, man. They're just gonna make you look at a fucking barn and they're gonna tell you that your mom wants to kill you.
Sylvi: They're admitting the trick painting.
Art: The fucking trick painting factory back again.
Keith: The Harvard trick painting factory. I fucking knew it. Those Harvard boys almost got me.
Sylvi: You said that like the fucking Dukes of Hazzard intro. Them Harvard boys are at it again.
Keith: It's Conan O'Brien is who I was talking about. Um, you know, I think, uh, I'm not surprised that she takes him back.
Darcy: No, I'm not either. Shouldn’t—
Keith: But I know for sure—
Darcy: Super duper shouldn't, but yeah.
Keith: Here's one of my predictions for next season. At some—
Art: Oh, okay. Should we— Should we wait until the end for this segment?
Keith: This one is relevant here, specifically here.
Sylvi: Okay.
Keith: Well, I know that he's going to run out of luck on Melfi accepting him back. It's not going to be permanent. I don't think that she's going to make an exit from the show, but at some point he's going to do something and she's going to be like, no, I can't be your therapist anymore. There's been so many things that he's done wrong. She's having this whole dialogue with her ex-husband about that bad guys don't even deserve therapy. Um, at some point, you know, something's going to happen and she's going to be like, no, I can't be your therapist. And there's going to be a whole gotta win her back thing.
Art:  Fascinating.
Darcy: Yeah, I would really—
Sylvi: Write that down.
Darcy: I would love to see how Tony Soprano decides to win back his therapist.
Keith: I bet it's gonna be—
Darcy: So I hope it happens.
Keith: I bet it's gonna be not explicitly, but like, pseudo-romantic.
Darcy: Oh, yeah.
Art: Hmm. Fascinating.
Sylvi: Yeah. Art and I are just like, fingers tented. Interesting.
Art: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Darcy: Mm-hmm.
Art: Yes, I do think there's gonna be a second season.
Sylvi: Yeah, literally. There will be more episodes after this. Yeah, you're right.
Darcy: Oh.
Art: Um, and I, I, I do like seeing the like, Tony's just like, you gotta get outta town. You have to go right now. I'm gonna send some people to help you. And she's like, I can't do that. I, I enjoy that but like, I can't lam it. I have patients who need me and—.
Sylvi: I love this argument.
Keith: She's— They very cleverly planted a seed of that she has suicidal patients that she needs to stay in town for. 
Sylvi: What does he say? Like, if they can't handle you going away for a couple of weeks, they were a lost cause anyway, or something like that?
Art: No, it's like, if they can't handle you going away for a few weeks, what's it going to be like if you get killed?
Sylvi: Right, that's it. That's it. Even worse, actually.
Darcy: You know, hey, sometimes it's important to accept reality.
Sylvi: Fair, fair. I just think he could have said it a little more delicately.
Keith: Yeah.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: I mean, you could— There's a— There's certainly a bluntness to the comment, uh, but it is essentially supporting her and her patients to say, you nee— If you want to take care of them, it's better that you don't die.
Darcy: Yeah. No, this is— Tony also probably has great speeches about avoiding burnout as a clinician, because this is a similar sentiment here.
Art: I also appreciate the, like, and I know what you're thinking, you'll go to the cops and they won't do anything because you don't know anything, which is very accurate, I believe. Um, 'cause all she knows is about Booty.
Sylvi: Oh my God, it's so funny when she says Booty and he goes Pussy and she's like, whatever.
[audio from The Sopranos starts playing]
Melfi: Booty.
Tony: Pussy! Pussy!
Melfi: Pussy, Booty.
[audio ends]
Darcy: That's his friend that might be dead. That's mean. You can't just get that name wrong.
Sylvi: To be fair, her life is being threatened right now, so not directly by him.
Keith: And I think that that was maybe from months ago that he said that name.
Art: It's unclear how much time has passed, really, at any point here.
Keith: Well, uh, Artie's mother is alive at the— In the first episode and dead in episode 13.
Art: Okay.
Keith: So she died somewhere along the way. So it's been over 6 months.
Art: And we assume that Meadow is still in her junior year of high school or—?
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Uh, presumably.
Art: Okay.
Keith: So it's not summer.
[1:30:00]
Sylvi: She's— The way they've talked about her is that she's graduating this year, and I feel like they would have made a big deal out of that if it happened.
Keith: If she had graduated. Oh, so she's in her senior year of high school.
Art: Well, no, no, she's in her junior year because next season is when she's gonna decide where she's going to college.
Darcy: Okay.
Art: The following year she'll be in college. 
Sylvi: The touring colleges threw me off here, but, uh, But, you know, I'm not— me and colleges don't really have a great relationship, so I don't really know what the process there is like.
Darcy: In the most traditional, quote unquote, sense, it is pretty common to start touring colleges your junior year of high school.
Sylvi: Yeah. All right.
Art: And they're talking about the SATs. You're taking your SATs in your junior year of high school.
Sylvi: Yeah, we don't have those, so that's another thing where I just assumed it was a senior year thing. 
Darcy: Wow, brag. 
Sylvi: I'm just being honest!
Keith: Shout out SATs. Those were fun to me. I liked the SATs.
Darcy: The fuck, you sicko?
Art: Yeah, Meadow Soprano, high school junior, still in her junior year.
Keith: Took the PSAT 3 times and then the SATs twice.
Sylvi: We did, uh, uh, what was it called? EQAO, I think it was called here when I was in like, elementary school.
Keith: We also have the ACTs, but I didn't take those.
Darcy: Oh, I took both.
Keith: Um, they were not important for—
Art: ACT was not popular when I was— 
Keith: Yeah, it was not that popular here. Uh, although I think it's much more popular now.
Sylvi: Um, all right. Well, that was our standardized testing minute.
Art: Yeah, that was standardized testing.
Darcy: It's all bad.
Art: Are we ready to move on to the Vesuvi— The, uh, the— What's it, Satriale's parking lot?
Sylvi: I think it's Satriale's, but I could be wrong. Uh, I know it's not the Bing because the parking lot there is off of like, the freeway. 
Art: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 
Sylvi: So I think it's Satriale’s. The scene rocks. It's—
Keith: I mean, this is Artie's like big moment. Like, he's fucking acting the shit out of this. It's really great. Like, I can imagine being whatever this actor's name is. I forget, I'm sorry. 
Sylvi: Uh, is it John… Yeah, John Ventimiglia.
Keith: John Ventimilio?
Sylvi: -miglia.
Keith: -miglia. Uh, I can imagine being him. You're reading, you know, the scripts that they're sending you for the episodes and being like, holy fuck, like, this is my best thing in this whole season, and being very excited about it. Kind of out of nowhere, he has this really big part in the finale. Uh, it's a great scene. Um, I do have— I have a button for it. I think that we should listen to it because it's great. Uh, I know we've had a lot of buttons. What happened is that Sylvi had 2 button requests, and they were right before and right after a button that I already had.
Sylvi: Oh yeah.
Keith: And so we're just stacked with buttons.
Sylvi: It's— There's so— I— This is a good show with good things. [Darcy: It’s the finale!] And also, we're only covering one episode. We can button up.
Keith: He's, uh, he comes out of his car, of his station wagon. Tony's just like, hey man. He says something about his rash. I don't remember.
Sylvi: Hey Artie, how's your rash? Like he's trying to bust his balls.
Keith: Yeah. And then it's like, uh-oh, Artie is carrying a hunting rifle.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: A fucking—
Art: Oh, he's saying, how's your rash?
Keith: Yeah, how's your rash?
Art: I thought he was saying ass weird.
Keith: Oh, okay.
Sylvi: The way he says S-sounds does lend itself to that.
Keith: Well, the rash— the rash is on his ass, so it's, it's fine either way.
Sylvi: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
[audio from The Sopranos starts playing]
Tony: How's your rash? [shotgun cocking] What the fuck are you doing?
Artie: How could you? How the fuck could you? 
Tony: You took their money? Good, then do it. Do it, because I don't give a fuck anymore. Go ahead.
Artie: The restaurant was like my child.
Tony: So they got in your ear. 
Artie: Three generations of Buccos sweated over that same stove. Even your mother treasures the memory of Vesuvio.
Tony: My mother?
Artie: Oh, don't say she's lying, Tone, because why would she? 
Tony: What'd she tell you, my mother? 
Artie: Don't make it worse. Do me the respect of not treating me like a fucking idiot piece of shit! When you blew up the restaurant, you made me party to a criminal conspiracy! Did you ever stop to think about that?
Tony: I don't know what she told you. My mother, of all people. Two arson investigators gave that fire a clean bill of health, Artie. Why the fuck would I blow up your restaurant?
Artie: To help me, you fucking bent psycho! You hear your uncle's gonna hurt my business by staging a hit in my place, and that's your solution? To burn it down for the insurance money? What kind of stupid, sick, twisted logic?
Tony: Ask yourself a question. Am I that fucking stupid? Huh? Am I that fucking stupid? Really? My mother, God bless her, is going senile, Artie. And you saw her. 
Artie: I love my new place so much, and this ruins everything. 
Tony: I swear to God, I didn't touch your place, Artie.
[audio ends]
Keith: I love the— There's an attention to detail. He's saying— He's like, so angry that he's saying things weird. [Sylvi: Yeah.] Like, his inflections and the stresses in his sentences are like, off because he's like moving faster than his mouth and he's just getting ahead of himself— It's really, really, really good.
Art: Mm-hmm. You cut the—
Sylvi: Um, it feels very like, genuine, the anger, as opposed to like, when you can tell someone's playing up anger for TV, which is like, a frequent issue I have.
Art: Mm-hmm.
Sylvi: Sorry, Art, what were you gonna say?
Art: You cut the end of the conversation, which I liked, which is, uh, he convinces him by saying, I swear on my mother.
Keith: Right.
Sylvi: It's so good.
Keith: Right, because her life is worthless to him. At this moment. It's a good— That's great.
Art: Also, I really think Tony looks like Jack Nicholson in this scene. I'm not exactly sure what it is. [Sylvi: I can see it.] A younger Jack Nicholson, you know. Shining Jack Nicholson, I think, is really what it is.
Keith: I, I also, I also like— This is getting a little bit ahead, but when, um, later when Artie is explaining his change in attitude to Father Phil, it's not clear at all to me that Tony convinced him that what Tony was saying was true just to not kill him.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: My— The impression that I personally got was that he doesn't believe Tony, but still, isn't— Wasn't gonna kill him then anyway. Uh, I would not be surprised if this started a ball that rolls for many episodes of, uh, Artie getting increasingly brokenhearted about his friend Tony who blew up his family's restaurant.
Sylvi: So heartbroken about it. 
Darcy: Mm-hmm.
Art: Mm-hmm.
Sylvi: Ugh. It's good.
Keith: Yeah. Yeah, but also, you know, not taking Livia's word. She's an odd bird.
Sylvi: She is, she is. She wouldn't eat, and she wouldn't eat his, his, his, the lovely dish that he prepared.
Keith: The positive ion, negative ion is such a good thing to say to Phil, who likes to play up his sort of religious— Religious worldliness. Um, you know, this new age thing is like, a shtick that he would use, and he also would call something a shtick.
Art: Yeah, to prove that he knows Jewish people.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: You want me to schlep that?
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: This guy's the worst.
Sylvi: This guy's the fucking worst.
Art: This guy's the fucking worst.
Sylvi: It's the fucking worst. Um, oh brother, this guy stinks. Um, why are we talking about Father Phil? There's a dinner scene before we get to him again.
Keith: Uh, we, oh, just because the connection between this scene with Artie and the next scene with Artie. Oh, that's why. Yeah, Artie's not convinced.
Speaker F: Yeah.
Art: Um, yeah, we get the— Just the most brutal dinner scene in a season with a lot of brutal dinner scenes.
Keith: It's one of the best scenes.
Sylvi: It's so tense, but then you also—
Keith: Oh, sorry, go ahead, go ahead.
Sylvi: AJ laughing at the word joint, which is really funny. Like, it's really good how they balance this with the kids just being fucking oblivious about it. 
Art: Yeah. Uh, and, um, Livia talking about the undercooked pork.
Keith: And oh, I wrote this down because she's— She talks about, uh, what is the— Trichinosis? Is that the pork disease that you get? What is it?
Art: Yeah, I think so.
Keith: Yeah, so she's like, a family died this year of trichinosis, and then Tony's like, you fucking tell the same story about the same family every year. It's always a family died this year of trichinosis. And then she pulls out seas— Episode 1 Livia of like, look at him, he knows everything. Like, anytime— Like, she can lie, and if he corrects her or accuses her of lying or anything, all of a sudden that's his fault for like, even noticing. Because he— Look at him, he's so fucking smart. Look how smart he is. He knows that I'm lying. What an idiot. Stupid fucking piece of shit son. Hope someone kills him. 
Art: Yeah.
Sylvi: It’s— I love the, um, there's like this, like, this, like, chain of Tony asking Junior if he knows anything about the indictments, Junior being like, ah, it's all over the place, and then Carmela talking to Livia, being like, I don't think they should bring dinner to— Bring business to the dinner table. Don't you agree? And I'm like, oh man.
Keith: Yeah, she says, what's going on in your little corner of the world?
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: And then she's like, what are you talking about? And she's like, I don't know, the state of the union?
Sylvi: Really good. Really, really good, barely contained contempt.
Keith: Yeah. Um, um, but she's trying for Tony to, to be—
Sylvi: She's keeping up appearances for sure. Yeah.
Keith: Yeah. Um, oh, I forgot that the next scene with, uh, Artie was with Phil but isn't the positive ion scene. It's the priest scene.
Art: No, it's how he hates all men and life.
Keith: He hates all men and life.
Sylvi: Yeah. Again, talking like he just went through a breakup.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Him and Tony have a legendary situationship.
Keith: I'm full of rage, murderous whatever, urges.
Sylvi: There's a— There's an— My mind palace is going crazy making a fan edit of Tony and Artie set to Casual by Chapelle Roan. I need to go right now.
Art: Oh my God.
Keith: I don't know it.
Sylvi: It's fine. That hit for everybody it's gonna hit for.
Darcy: Knee deep in the passenger seat.
Sylvi: You're burning my restaurant. Is it casual now?
Art: Now you have to change the lyrics?
Sylvi: No, I do, 'cause it's a podcast. But I'm not gonna record a cover.
Keith: Just, just play the song and then every word that you want to change, just record you saying the word over it and just drop it in. It'll be fine.
Sylvi: That would be very funny. That would be really funny.
Keith: I don't hate— I don't just hate this man. I hate all men.
Sylvi: I'm consumed with rage.
Keith: I hate life.
Art: Mm-hmm.
Sylvi: And then it's like, well, why don't you tell your wife? And he's like, oh, uh, I don't know. I don't know, man.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: Well, he says it would make her sad. She's been through so much.
Sylvi: Oh yeah, true.
Darcy: She'd been real happy.
Keith: Yeah.
Darcy: You don't want to bum her out.
Keith: Yeah.
Art: All due respect, Father, you're getting off the subject, is how he ends the conversation.
Keith: This is another, like, if I'm thinking about what— But as long as you're mining fertile soil in the future in a Sopranos writers' room, having Father Phil being privy to crimes of Tony Soprano, not via confession, which would actually make him, I think, prosecutorially safe.
Sylvi: I think so.
Keith: But from other people, Carmela and Artie, and who knows who else, telling this guy in the course of conversation, again, not formal confession, hey, Tony Soprano is doing this stuff. That's bad news. That's bad news for Tony.
Art: I mean, I don't think any of this is something that would hold up in court.
Keith: Uh, I don't know. 
Art: Artie's saying, I— I don’t think Artie names Tony, but Artie's saying, like, I think something happened to my, like, hmm.
Sylvi: It's like, not— It’s—
Keith: No, he says, uh, it'll come up in the course of the investigation. I believe he's told him exactly what he thinks Tony did.
Sylvi: He's talking— He's talking about the insurance investigation though, right?
Art: Mm-hmm.
Sylvi: Uh, yeah, not the— The problem is there's a couple competing investigations here that
Keith: It's true. It's true.
Sylvi: It confused me at the very least. Um, I, I think that Artie's been very careful not to name names for the— Maybe the reasons you've mentioned.
Keith: Yeah, maybe. But, um, my imagination was that you couldn't get— You couldn't tell Father Phil everything he needs for this conversation without being like, I think Tony blew up my restaurant.
Sylvi: I think there's an easy, um—
Keith: 'Cause it won't come up in the course of the insurance investigation, 'cause that investigation's over. He's got the money.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: So he would have to go confess that he thinks that something is wrong with the investigation to open a new investigation and then lose the money after already having the restaurant. It's kind of an impossible situation and he shouldn't do it. He should not do that. He should keep the restaurant, I think. Where— What is— You know, where is the honor in giving back whatever tens of thousands of dollars you got for your restaurant exploding? He didn't have anything to do with it.
Darcy: It's true.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: I would feel fine about this. If one of you blew up my restaurant and you told me it was to help me and I got the check, we're good. And also, don't tell me and I won't talk to your moms or anything.
Sylvi: Don't tell my mom. Don’t!
Keith: Don't tell my mom on me that I blew up your restaurant.
Sylvi: Come on, dude. Is— No. Yeah, next is, next is Tony telling the boys about Melfi.
Keith: This is a great— I didn't think he was gonna do this.
Sylvi: I love this scene. I love how uncomfortable he is. I love the like, get it out now, 'cause we're not talking about this again.
Art: Yeah. Um, I think everyone should keep in mind for the rest of the show that Paulie has coping skills that were given to him by a trained mental health professional.
[hysterical Sylvi laughter]
Keith: Yeah. And a man at that.
Darcy: What do we think he went to get coping skills for?
Keith: For being half a wise guy?
Sylvi: Um, did he— I can't remember if he mentioned this or if I'm, I'm making stuff up again. Uh, did he mention that it had something to do with— Because he's mentioned that he went— Was in the military at one point, right?
Darcy: Yeah, he— Yes, he has.
Sylvi: Okay, because I think that's also true of the actor Tony Sirico, so I wanted to make sure.
Keith: Right.
Sylvi: Yeah, uh, um, no, sorry, I got it mixed up. The, the, the thing that was true about Tony Sirico was all the crime stuff, not the army history.
Keith: Oh, I just assumed it was both after you said that.
Sylvi: Um, anyway, I think that it was— it might have been like related to that. Like, I could— [Darcy: That would be my guess.] Something I would think about, that I think about with Paulie, is that he's probably got some degree of PTSD.
Art: Yeah.
Sylvi: If he's like, been in a war.
Keith: He's been killing people.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: For the mafia.
Sylvi: Yeah. Yeah, nobody— And that's probably gotta do normal things to your brain.
Keith: Yeah.
Darcy: Mm-hmm.
Keith: I love the three reactions here. Silvio saying, I'm sure you did it with complete discretion.
Sylvi: And if Pussy were here, I'm sure he'd agree.
Keith: And speaking of Pussy, he would agree. And then he says, um, where's the—
Sylvi: It's so good.
Keith: It's really, really good.
Sylvi: This thing of ours is, it helps to talk about it— This thing of ours can be stressful. It helps to talk about it sometimes. Is that it?
Keith: Yeah. Um, look, this thing of ours, the way it's going, be better if we could admit to each other these pain— These are painful, stressful times, but it'll never fucking happen. So I get why you would go to therapy, implied. Um, Paulie being the first one to say that he went to therapy. Here— Oh, here, I— This is what Paulie went to therapy for. Paulie, I think, is germophobic. I think, I think he went to therapy for being a germaphobe.
Art: Well, it doesn't help him with the poison ivy.
Keith: No.
Darcy: No. Or the killing people.
Keith: That's why—
Darcy: People got a lot of germs in them.
Keith: Because he was freaking out about the poison ivy. He said, I can already feel it itching. And I'm— And that's impossible. And then later he's covered in like, lotion.
Sylvi: It's so funny. Him with the fucking cream all over him.
Keith: And it's like he— My theory, he doesn't have poison ivy. Him and fucking Christopher were in the same woods, in the same weeds, and Christopher's got nothing.
Art: I don't know, he's got all that stuff. He's got the steroid, he's got the ointment.
Darcy: Mm-hmm.
Keith: It's in his head. It’s in his head.
Sylvi: Interesting.
Keith: Yep.
Darcy: Interesting. 
Sylvi: Once again, I'm nodding.
Darcy: A psychosomatic response.
Keith: I'm actually surprised to hear you say, I'm nodding, about that.
Sylvi: Well, like, I don't think it's— I, I don't want to give anything away.
Keith: Okay.
Sylvi: That's why I say that. It's like, I think that is something to keep in mind.
Keith: Okay.
Sylvi: I, I just— I can't— I can't confirm nor deny if that's like— Yeah, I think that, yeah, that's a fair read of him in season 1.
Keith: Okay. 
Darcy: Maybe poison ivy only hurts you if you're impure of heart and hate women. And we know Christopher loves women. And so the poison ivy didn't hurt Christopher.
Sylvi: Yeah, that's so true.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: We've seen, we've seen him loving women.
Sylvi: Feminist ally, Chris Moltisanti?
[Sylvi hysteria]
Darcy: He thinks they can do anything.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Darcy: Paulie thinks they're not allowed to be therapists. Well, I guess you have to have lady therapists for ladies.
Sylvi: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.
Keith: That's the order. Yeah, therapists need to be working on ladies.
Darcy: Now, is it gayer to see a lady therapy or to eat pussy?
Sylvi: I mean, I know what the gay thing is.
Art: Hey, save some stuff for season 4.
Sylvi: I love that Chris storms out of this.
Keith: Yes.
Sylvi: I love that Chris is the one who stands by his house.
Keith: Well, his daddy is having, you know, problems and he doesn't know how to process it. 
Darcy: Well, his dad lied to him.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Dad lied to me.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: My real dad lied to me.
Art: Marriage counseling?
Keith: Something like that.
Sylvi: It's like a thing. It's also like he suspected it before anybody else. And then it's confirmed. Yeah. It sucks.
Keith: Um, yeah.
Darcy: I mean, it's, I don't, I don't think Christopher ever explicitly asked Tony like, hey, how do you know all this psychiatry stuff in the like, conversation they have in the car?
Sylvi: Mm-hmm.
Darcy: But that to me is like the payoff here of Chris being like, man, if you thought I was depressed and you were seeing a therapist, you probably should have said something, but you didn't.
Keith: Maybe. I just—
Darcy: That and just be like, you didn't tell me. Well, that too. And like, that he didn't tell him. I imagine a big part of it is just like, you didn't tell us and we're supposed to be like, your crew. Oh, um, yeah, especially with Christopher having the complex about like, not being made, not being seen as like, you know, in the inner circle.
Sylvi: Yeah. Um, and like, I mean, it also, given the conversation that they had in the car a few episodes ago, yeah, about— Yeah, like it kind of just add— It like adds on to, to why Chris would feel [Darcy: Mm-hmm.] Super fucking weird about this. I don't know if it's a— it's— I, I don't think it's a deserved reaction, but I do think it's a genuine one.
Darcy: Man. Prediction for season 2: Christopher's gonna get made.
Sylvi: Hmm, add it to the list.
Darcy: He fucking shot a rat, man. Come on.
Art: Silvio shot the rat. Christopher just held his arm while he got shot.
Darcy: Well, then he helps shoot Mikey.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Art: Oh, he definitely— Yeah.
Keith: Oh, he definitely shot Mikey. First one, I guess.
Art: I'm not saying anything. I heard the books are closed.
Keith: I heard the books are closed.
Darcy: Well, yeah, but now fucking people are dead. A lot of people on the books are dead.
Keith: Tony Soprano seems to be about to be the guy who can open the books too.
Darcy: Yeah. That's— Yeah. Uh, if he's not made very soon in season 2, I bet that's gonna be a problem. All things considered.
Sylvi: Mm-hmm.
Keith: Mm-hmm.
Art: Um, I don't think anything bad would ever happen to Christopher.
Darcy: Fucking better not.
Keith: I think that—
Darcy: That's baby girl right there.
Keith: I think Christopher… Here— Okay, let me think about— Do I think— Okay, so. Very early in season 1, they're testing his— They're like showing his potential lack of loyalty by having him threaten to like, sell his story to Tony.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Art: Mm-hmm.
Keith: And so— and then they play up his like, insecurity and his want— His need to be acknowledged, even if that acknowledgment comes at the price of like, being arrested in an indictment. You know, he took all those newspapers. I would say that, uh, if someone were to play on his insecurity by giving him a lot of attention, he would be willing to tell that person pretty much anything, knowingly or not.
Art: Fascinating. I mean, killing Mikey is a big deal— I mean, we're getting ahead of ourselves a little bit, but like, this is a big thing to be the person trusted to do this with Paulie. And it's a good— You know, Christopher is getting his revenge, right? This is about Brendan. And so, letting him do this hit is also like, an attempt to get loyalty from Christopher.
Keith: So, he might get that loyalty. Uh, and Chris might get the attention, but that he wants, but we'll see. I don't know.
Art: Could go either way. So the next scene—
Keith: It could go either way. It could go both ways. There's a lot of seasons of this show.
Art: Yeah. I bet a lot of these characters go through a lot of things.
Keith: Oh, I'm writing that down.
Sylvi: Write that down. That's a prediction. That's a prediction.
Keith: [writing] Characters will go through things.
Sylvi: Somebody will have an arc.
Darcy: They're gonna have an arc.
Keith: Oh, fuck.
Sylvi: Oh, fuck!
Keith: Fuck. It's what he always wanted.
Art: Um, so Carm catches Father Phil cheating on her with Jen. Right.
Keith: He's eating another woman's food. Disgusting.
Art: Uh-huh. It's the fresh basil.
Keith: What is it about this guy that makes anyone interested in him, let alone multiple married women? I guess she's a recently widowed—
Sylvi: Maybe it's like a—
Art: It’s the Catholicism.
Sylvi: It's the Catholicism would be my assumption, yeah.
Keith: That's a lot of heavy lifting. This guy sucks.
Sylvi: It's a man, I don't know.
Keith: Yeah.
Art: But he's giving these people who are not getting attention from their husbands attention. Carmela, 'cause her husband is a mob boss, and Rosalie 'cause her husband is dead.
Keith: We gotta link Phil up with Christopher. Because Christopher's also not getting attention from Tony Soprano. And not getting enough attention from Tony Soprano is the number one thing this guy feeds on.
Darcy: I think there is one major issue that the priest would not get along with Christopher and would not have the same relationship. And it's that Christopher can't cook.
Keith: Is that for sure? Do we know that? 
Darcy: I— It does not strike me that Christopher knows how to cook.
Keith: But he does have a sound system in his apartment.
Darcy: That's true.
Keith: So maybe he could come over and listen to some CDs.
Darcy: Listen, I was just trying to make a joke about how there's a big difference in that it's obviously that Chris is a guy, but I didn't want to say that because that’s how jokes work.
Keith: No, no, no, it's true. It's true. It's true. I got the joke, but also I wanted Father Phil to show up to listen to CDs at his house anyway.
Sylvi: Man, I don't want to—
Darcy: Listen to fucking, uh, Visiting Day while Chris tells him about how Adriana left him. 
Keith: I think that Father Phil would flirt with a guy in order to listen to his nice CD player.
Sylvi: But like, what— I'm trying to think of like what Father— Creed, maybe?
Keith: Creed, yeah, he loves Creed.
Sylvi: What's the religious music at the time? I think it would be— I think he would be a big Scott Stapp guy.
Keith: No, 'cause he's worldly. He likes secular movies.
Darcy: He probably likes DC Talk. 
Art: There's no bad thing you won't put on Father Phil.
Sylvi: I— Hey, I'm not gonna put this on. 
Art: Steals watches, likes Creed.
Sylvi: There's some Creed songs that are all right. Yeah.
Art: Okay, but they're the stealing watches of yesterday.
Darcy: I thought I was being a lot meaner by saying he listened to DC Talk.
Sylvi: I mean, I was about to say his favorite album is Graceland by Paul Simon, so.
Keith: Well, okay, look, there's a lot we could say negative about Paul Simon, but the music is unimpeachable.
Sylvi: Word up. Uh, where are we?
Art: Uh, Carmela dumping the ziti in the garbage.
Sylvi: Yeah, I love that. It's not even gonna give it to anybody else, just fuck this food.
Keith: Yeah, I would have had that, Carm. I would have had that. Carm, give me the ziti.
Sylvi: Uh, and then right into that, it's Tony in a great mood, uh, in the morning.
Keith: He is in a great mood.
Sylvi: Remarked upon by— Is it Meadow or Carmela that says, oh, somebody's in a good mood?
Keith: Um, is this the, the robe you're thinking of?
Sylvi: This was the robe. Yeah, this is one of the robes. It's this robe. [Darcy: It’s a good robe.] It's the robe that Chris is wearing when, uh, that the— That belongs to Adriana, but he's wearing when, um, what's his name? Brendan is like, hey, come on, let's go hit this truck. And, uh, Chris is like, uh, no, I, I use the power of positive thinking or whatever his catchphrase is. Um, yeah, yeah, the list of robes grows.
Keith: Yeah, that's— It is a great robe. Um, this guy's—
Sylvi: But yeah, going from him being like, in a great mood right to, to, um, Mikey leaving for a jog and like, leaning forward in my chair being like, uh-oh, I know what's about to happen. Really fun.
Keith: He's such a piece of shit. It's so funny. He didn't really have—
Sylvi: He is awful.
Keith: He didn't have a lot of characterization for 4/5 of the season, but they really— As soon as his wife shows up, they really lean into this guy is irritating. He's got fuckfaceitis, frankly.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: Someone should say that to him.
Sylvi: Uh, I mean, they kind of do, but with bullets.
Keith: They kind of do, but with bullets.
Art: There’s a—
Sylvi: Um, there's a couple things I really enjoy. Oh no, you, you go ahead. All right, please.
Art: There's a story in the book, the oral history book, where they talk about how the, the actor who plays Mikey, his name is Al… I'm not gonna pronounce that last name. Um, he, he found out he was getting killed, he like, begged to stay.
Sylvi: Oh, Al Sapienza. Yeah, yeah, he would have been fun to have around longer, but I do think you kind of need bodies to start dropping with the plot.
Art: Yeah, that is what they like, said, that what David Chase supposedly said was that like, we can't seriously keep you. Like, that doesn't make it— There's no path for you here.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Art: Um, and apparently, and that's apparently what happens is if your character is going to die and you're like a, you know, like a recurring or greater character, that like David Chase would like, take you out to lunch and tell you you're gonna get killed. 
Sylvi: Oh man.
Darcy: Oh-ho-ho.
Art: That's— That’s— And then eventually I had to stop doing it because the people at the restaurant were leaking who was gonna die.
Keith: Oh, that's not why I thought that they had to stop.
Sylvi: That sucks.
Keith: I thought that they had to stop because people would stop wanting to go to lunch with him because they think they're about to get fired.
Sylvi: Written off.
Art: So yeah, that was—
Sylvi: That's funny.
Art: Yeah. I forget what restaurant it was. It was a specific restaurant. Yeah, you get one last talk with the boss before you're done.
Keith: Um, I mean, that's a— That's on paper, that's, I guess, a polite thing to do.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: I don't know if I would want to have a whole lunch to get fired, personally.
Darcy: I mean, I guess— You're right, it is technically getting fired, but it's, it's different.
Keith: It is different.
Darcy: You're not getting paid anymore. That’s part sucks.
Keith: You're losing your job and you're not getting paid anymore, and you're not going to be on the TV show that everyone loves.
Art: But in almost every instance of it happening on this show, the people are not being written off because they're bad.
Keith: No, no.
Art: There is one. We'll get to it eventually.
Darcy: Is this why we haven't seen Meadow's friend Hunter in a long time?
Art: We'll get to it.
Sylvi: I don't think I know who Meadow's friend is.
Art: That's a good point, because that's David Chase's daughter.
Darcy: Oh, you're right, that is his daughter.
Art: But she kept murdering people. I think Hunter's gonna be back.
Sylvi: I did not know that was David Chase's daughter until just now. That's wild. Did we bring that up before and I just like, blanked it out?
Keith: Wait, Hunter, uh, Scangarelo is—
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Michelle Cesare is David Chase's daughter?
Sylvi: Yeah, apparently.
Keith: I, it would be— I maybe— I would have noticed if her name was Michelle Chase.
Art: That might be why she has that name.
Keith: True. Um, uh, 
Art: I don't know why she has that name. That is not his last name or her mother's last name, I guess, to— So people don't know.
Keith: Yeah. He dies in spectacular fashion. The last thing he does in life is meet a dog named Nips that doesn't like him.
Sylvi: I'm glad you also noticed that the dog was named Nips.
Keith: Uh, they're sort of following him in a Cadillac, and he notices who's driving, and he just bolts into the woods. And there is a long, longish chase scene.
Sylvi: He's protracted for sure.
Keith: Yeah, him running through the woods and, uh, Christopher following and Paulie trying to follow but being old and being beset upon by poison ivy. Poison ivy that isn't poison ivy. I'm looking at what he's running through and none of that is poison ivy.
Art: I did notice that, yes.
Sylvi: That's really funny. That's definitely just them being like, well, we can't actually make Paulie—
Keith: But again, he says, I can already feel it itching me, but he— That's impossible. That's not how poison ivy works.
Sylvi: Okay, that's fair. Yeah, yeah, it might— Maybe it's all in his head.
Keith: It's all in his head.
Art: If you think about poison ivy, you will start feeling itchy, right?
Sylvi: That's— Everyone has that. Yeah, it's happening to me right now.
Art: Yeah.
Darcy: Uh, not me.
Keith: Not me, I'm normal.
Sylvi: Uh-oh.
Darcy: Yeah.
Sylvi: Fuck, I'm just like Paulie.
Keith: Yep, sorry, but you're just like Paulie. 
Art: All right, I gotta go get my hair dyed.
Sylvi: Look around your friend group. If there's no Paulie, you're the Paulie.
Keith: Uh, I really like the handheld camera, uh, for the next scene where the FBI is knocking on doors arresting everyone.
Art: Wait, hold on, I want to— I don't want to move on for—
Sylvi: Yeah, wait, there's a little bit more to talk about with Mikey dying here.
Art: I do like Mikey trying to put it on Junior.
Keith: Yeah, no, which is not true, of course.
Sylvi: Junior was there.
Art: I mean, it's totally true that Junior ordered it, but I mean, of course everyone knows that at this point, right?
Keith: Uh, I like that they're doing the thing that happens in movies sometimes where like, when you're shooting the gun, you like, push it forward. Like you go bop, bop, bop, bop, and you're like, jamming it forward while you're shooting as if to get a little bit more velocity. I don't know what that is, but it's really funny to me.
Sylvi: It's— I don't know if I— Yeah, that felt like, actor still learning how to use a gun? I don't know.
Keith: Yeah. But presumably there's a director watching and being like, no, no, no, just shoot it. Just hold your arms still.
Sylvi: Maybe. I don't know, man.
Keith: Uh, specifically, I just noticed because I'm looking at it now, Paulie is not doing this. So this may be a character choice by Christopher.
Darcy: Sure.
Sylvi: Could also— Yeah, true. Could also, could also be that Tony Sirico knows how to use a gun.
Keith: Could be that Tony Sirico knows how to and has used a gun.
Sylvi: Yeah. Um, but yeah.
Keith: Uh, or to show that it's personal for Christopher, but not for Paulie. 
Sylvi: True. There is like a little bit. I think that, I think that is probably the, the better read of it. 
Keith: Riddled. They riddle him.
Sylvi: Yeah. And you— I— Perforated.
Darcy: Perforated.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: The message you sent me about this, uh, is really good.
Art: I've—
Sylvi: I'm gonna send a screenshot to the chat for everybody. Yeah, um, Keith sent me a picture of, um, Mikey, uh, in the river getting shot and said, cunnilingus and psychiatry has led us to this, in all caps, which I could not let go unmentioned before we move on.
Keith: Um, martyred, martyred for the cause.
Sylvi: Martyred for the cause. Uh, before we get into— Is there more to say about this scene here that other, uh, that y'all have, or—
Keith: No.
Sylvi: Okay, then before we get into the FBI stuff, let's take a little break, and then we can wrap up the rest of the episode.
Darcy: Cool.
Keith: Cool. 
[musical sting]
Sylvi: Okay, so, after Mikey's tragic— tragic, question mark?
Keith: Yeah, and demise.
Art: He was undone by his own flaws, if that's how you're defining it. 
Sylvi: True! Okay, wow. Yeah, very classically tragic. Um…
Keith: It's FBI time.
Sylvi: It's FBI time. Yes. Keith, you were saying you really like, the handheld cams for this. I also really enjoy the POV of the FBI agents.
Keith: Yeah, all the FBI agents showed up to the mafia houses with camcorders with which to record through the windows.
Sylvi: It's very fun.
Keith: And the doorways. It was very— Yeah, just like, you know. I always like when all of a sudden something's being filmed in a different way.
Sylvi: Sure.
Keith: Um, I love— You can see, I'm gonna share this, uh, screenshot, uh, with, uh, the chat of like, you can see the guy holding up his badge to, uh, Junior who's looking out of the window, and Junior's like, ah, fuck.
Sylvi: It is the most like, there's kids in my yard, uh, shit. Like, it's such a funny shot.
Keith: Um, I can't believe they got Larry Boy.
Sylvi: I can't believe they got Beppy.
Keith: I can't believe they got Beppy.
Sylvi: Who the fuck is Beppy? I'm, I'm sure this guy's shown up in scenes before. I just, when they were talking about, I don't even have his real name. I just was like, Beppy? ‘Cause they say the name of a guy and whose nickname is Beppy also got arrested, like as a named— One of the named people who got arrested. I was like, I've never— That's not real.
Art: We're also introduced to a nickname for Mikey I'm sure we haven't heard before.
Sylvi: Yes.
Art: Grab bag.
Sylvi: Mikey “Grab Bag” Palmice. What?
Darcy: Yeah, that is— Is it explained at all why he has that nickname?
Keith: Probably for grabbing bags of money.
Darcy: Oh, okay.
Art: Yeah. He's stacking paper to the ceiling.
Darcy: It's, it's expensive to treat fuckfaceitis. Okay.
Art: Yeah. You can see he was barely getting by.
Keith: Yeah. And it was terminal anyway. Yeah.
Sylvi and Keith: Damn.
Keith: Rest in peace. After a long battle with fuckfaceitis. He succumbed to the Elvis.
Sylvi: [singing] In the arms of an angel. [normal] Uh, yeah. Uh, I really like— My favorite part of this is, is the, the Soprano family themselves watching this on TV, though.
Keith: Yeah. Legitimate businessman!
Sylvi: And it's like, she's like, come off it, Dad. And it's like, there's levels of it because he's also pretending to be outraged that Junior is arrested when he's like, probably not that upset about it.
Darcy: I think that was his plan.
Art: I thought he was gonna be a little upset 'cause he was gonna— He was gonna get clipped.
Keith: Yeah, he wanted to whack him.
Sylvi: Yeah. Sorry, Darcy, what was that?
Darcy: Well, it— The whole plan was for Junior to take the fall at some point.
Sylvi: Exactly.
Keith: Yeah, this is like an earlier plan before Junior tried to kill him. So it did work. And, you know, I— It's not lost on me that the, um, one of the early anxieties of the show is that they don't have— That the mafia, they don't have the same code that they used to where you do time in jail in order to not rat on someone. But the main guy who gets arrested is like, one of the old school kinds of guys, even though he hates his nephew and wants to kill him. And now that his nephew's trying to kill him back, he still doesn't rat on him. And maybe part of it is his, uh, his not wanting to admit that he wasn't boss. But I also think part of it is, he's not a rat.
Art: It's definitely both things.
Keith: It's both.
Art: Um, uh, I like, do you prefer Corrado or Junior? He says, I prefer Mr. Soprano.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Yep. He's so crotchety. It's great.
Art: Yeah. He’s, he’s an old man.
Sylvi: Never change.
Darcy: Um, do you think there's any of it that is still a fondness for Tony, or do you think that is just like—
Sylvi: I mean… 
Keith: I think that'll come up.
Sylvi: Yeah, I, I can't really say too much. I think like, watching the season, just this season alone, I would say that it— There must be, like, the, the— Given the way he reacted when it was time to— That it became clear that it was time to put a hit out on Tony versus the way Livia reacted. I think that, like, I think the relationship runs a little deeper with Junior and Tony.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Um, despite the obvious reasons why you'd expect otherwise.
Darcy: Right. He taught him games, taught him baseball.
Sylvi: He did.
Keith: And there's an element to their, um, uh, to the, the— This thing they've been having together, you know, the whole season has been about them going back and forth, um, in the business. The whole underlying thing is like, I have to do this, it's a bit— It's the business, but also, why can't we just be like the family that we are? They both kind of want that. But I don't know if you can come back from this. This is a pretty big one.
Sylvi: Yeah...
Keith: Because there's an implication to the rest of the, of the, the crew. Each crew, respectively.
Sylvi: Sorry, implication? Which implication specifically?
Keith: The implication that if Junior tried to kill Tony, that it would be weak to not retribute.
Sylvi: Kill him. Yeah. Fair.
Keith: And vice versa, if you're Junior and you tried to kill Tony, you have to finish the job. You can't just like, give up on trying to kill him. They would have to do a whole thing, I think, to normalize it.
Darcy: Sure, yeah, they'd have to have like, a truce or something. [Keith: Right, yeah.] Something would have to happen.
Keith: Yeah.
Darcy: Yeah.
Art: That would make for interesting television.
[Keith laughter]
Keith: Subtle. Is there anything else about this before we go back to Venuvios?
Sylvi: I think I'm good to head back to Vesuvio.
Keith: Do you like my joke?
Darcy: Oh, Ve-new-vio! Ve-new-vio!
Sylvi: Oh, I thought you were just mispronouncing it, dude. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to turn into the, um, actually, it's pronounced Vesuvio.
Keith: Oh, there is one quick thing. First of all, who is that prick Altieri? I don't remember.
Sylvi: That's Jimmy.
Keith: Who?
Sylvi: Jimmy, the rat who—
Keith: The rat. Okay. That prick Altieri gave them reams of shit. Yeah, okay. I didn't wanna Google him in case he was someone that was important that was still alive and get information about him. But I was like, I can't remember who that prick Altieri is. There's a quick thing that we missed where Tony's trying to explain to Carmela, it's an ongoing investigation, but they always say that to make it seem more important. But also it actually is important, but it might not be, but it probably is.
Art: Yeah, but also this indictment is about a different thing that he wasn't involved in.
Keith: Yeah. But that they definitely have stuff on him, but it would have to be a new set of indictments. 
Art: Mm-hmm. And one of the reasons you have to kill rats is it's harder to— It's easier if they can testify, you know?
Keith: Yeah.
Darcy: Yeah, obviously whatever they've got on tape is on tape, But if you could stop them from saying anything else or corroborating what's on tape, yeah, I imagine that's a big deal.
Keith: And then the next thing is Ve-new-vios. Russ never sleeps.
Art: Russ never sleeps.
Keith: He's describing himself as a parasite, which I like.
Art: I thought he was talking about, like, sin.
Darcy: Hmm.
Keith: Oh, that's why he's always busy. Because sin never stops, so he has to be everywhere.
Sylvi: Right, or just like religion stuff. I think that's it.
Darcy: Religion stuff.
Keith: I think he's the rust. I'm the rust which never sleeps.
Art: Right.
Keith: 'Cause of my hair.
Art: He's whatever stops rust. He's stainless steel.
Darcy: Rust-eze. 
Keith: Maybe it's both. He's implying that he's stopping the rust, but we know. We know from watching that actually he is the rust.
Darcy: Oh, he's the alpha and the omega.
Keith: Holy shit.
Art: But yeah, Artie decides that it was not arson and that he will not be—
Keith: Yeah. Here, we can hear it. We can hear a little bit of that.
[audio from The Sopranos starts playing]
Father Phil: Art!
Artie: Hello. How are things?
Father Phil: Good, Father. Busy. Yeah. You? 
Artie: Like the man said, Russ never sleeps. Listen, Father, I want to thank you for taking the time out to talk to me the other day. 
Father Phil: Did you bring your wife into things? 
Artie: No.
Father Phil: No?
Artie: Sitting there in the house of God, I realized you can either be a yes person or a no person, a positive ion or a negative ion.
Father Phil: I'm not quite sure I get what you're saying.
Artie: It's just that— This woman's always been an odd bird, a sea of negativity. Even as a kid, we all learned to take her ravings with a grain of salt. 
Father Phil: But you also said the son was unstable. 
Artie: I was… angry. Complicated? Yes, he is. A little too comfortable outside the law? Yes, he is. But it would only add to the quotient of sorrow in the world to doubt him. When the source, unfortunately, is a person who rarely has a kind word for anyone.
Father Phil: You seem at peace.
Artie: I am, Father. Thank you again, Father.
Father Phil: Sure.
[audio ends]
Art: This isn't Catholicism.
Keith: Which part?
Darcy: You sure?
Art: The positive ion, negative ion thing?
Keith: No, but I don't think frankly that Father Phil's that concerned with Catholicism.
Art: No. No, he's concerned with… 
Keith: Wives. 
Art: Wives.
Keith: He's interested in wives and watches.
Art: Wives and food and DVD players.
Keith: He's crazy. As a character, he's crazy. I mean, the stuff that are— Is of concern to him is so strange to me.
Art: Yeah.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Art: Little freak, Father Phil.
Keith: Little freak. Father Phil the Freak.
Art: If you spell freak with a PH, you can— No, it doesn't really get us anywhere.
Sylvi: If you spell father with a PH.
Keith: You see, this is—
Art: Oh, there you go.
Keith: This is why I was interested in this scene, because he doesn't really say, yeah, I, I don't really think that he did it anymore. Oh, he also does be like, Livia is the one who told me this stuff. So it really feels like he told everything to Phil, right? It feels like Phil knows it all because this conversation only makes sense if he has named names. He talks about Livia.
Art: Well, he doesn't— He doesn't say a name.
Sylvi: He says this—
Art: And I don't think that Livia is the only cranky old person in New Jersey.
Keith: Yeah… It's just— it's everything but the name. Father— He lives— He's part of the community. He knows who Artie knows.
Art: Yeah. I don't— Again, I just don't think— I wouldn't put this in front of a grand jury.
Keith: This woman's always been an odd bird, a sea of negativity. As a kid, we took her ravings with a grain of salt, but you said the son was unstable. Yeah, I guess he would— The son, you know? I guess that that comes off.
Art: I mean, I certainly don't think it's good priesting to be like, saying people's names in this context, in like, the restaurant, but like—
Keith: Yeah, I mean, you know. I guess it's just opaque enough that you could get away with saying that Father Phil, even if he could put two and two together, was not told. Um, positive ion, negative ion though. I think he's onto something. The quotient of suffering. I don't know. That's kind of cool. That's kind of sick. Maybe.
Darcy: Listen, why, why you, why are you going to start something if it don't gotta be nothing?
Keith: What, I'm going to ruin my life to be honest about something that I don't even really care about? He does care about the restaurant.
Darcy: Yeah.
Keith: But he sure doesn't want to lose a second restaurant over it.
Sylvi: I think that's the bigger thing.
Darcy: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Keith: And that, that, that almost wraps up the father— The— It almost wraps up the Father Phil thing, and it basically wraps up the Artie thing. But there's a big Father Phil thing, which we talked about a little bit already. 
Sylvi: We did talk about that a little bit, but—
Art: Not enough,
Keith: We talked about the scene with the FBI. That was very short, where he's, you know, call me Mr. Soprano.
Art: Um, saying that Tony was not in charge.
Keith: Yeah, he's— He couldn't be in charge. He's an idiot, basically, is what he says.
Art: Yeah, not in this life.
Keith: Which is not true because he was in charge and is.
Art: Yeah, I think that Junior Soprano might have a problem with his ego, especially as it pertains to members of his family.
Keith: Yeah, I think so.
Darcy: I mean, I love that, like, we don't know. Like, you cannot tell if he— Does he genuinely believe that? Is he not snitching? Like, it's really good. It's really good. They made a whole season leading up to this moment of making him this kind of character.
Keith: Mm-hmm. Um, Father Phil wants a Lillet.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: Why does Father Phil want a Lillet?
Art: 'Cause he's a fucking parasite.
Sylvi: I don't know.
Keith: It's just a weird thing to want.
Darcy: What's a Lillet?
Keith: It's an aperitif. Well, okay, so here's my— Here's, here's the reading on why Father Phil would want a Lillet. Lillet is like a— I think it's like a burgundy aperitif. I think that's what it is. It's made with like, you basically mix burgundy, white burgundy with like orange wine. Oh, sorry— Wine made from oranges, not like what we call orange wine, which is sort of like orange-y colored wine. So I think that's what Lillet is. It's Burgundy mixed with fruit wine, but it's an aperitif. So I guess the implication is, I want— I don't want coffee, an after-dinner drink. I want a Lillet, a before-dinner drink, because I wanna have dinner.
Darcy: Sure, yeah.
Keith: So I think he's trying not to say that I do want— I want dinner here. So give me an aperitif, the thing that you would drink before a meal. This is my read on Father Phil.
Darcy: And explicitly, like, I want dinner here for free.
Keith: Right. I want free dinner. Again, please. Please dinner me.
Sylvi: Yummy, yummy in my tummy.
Keith: Yeah, in America we don't use Lillet for anything but like, a cocktail ingredient. But in other countries they will drink it over ice just on its own.
Darcy: Huh.
Keith: My impression is that it's not very good, so I support Americans using it as a cocktail ingredient and not as a thing to drink. But I don't know, I haven't had it. I haven't had it. I'll stick with vermouth.
Sylvi: Oh, I haven't had that either.
Keith: Really?
Sylvi: No, I—
Darcy: I've had it once. It's been a long time. I don't remember anything about it.
Keith: Here's where you gotta try— If anybody ever sees this, this is Keith's Recommendation Corner.
[fake musical sting from Sylvi]
Art: Finally.
Keith: Okay, if you ever see in a nice wine store Muz Vermouth, M-U-Z, it's a red vermouth. It's— I think it's my favorite liquid on earth. It's the best tasting thing that is on the planet, I think. It's really good.
Art: Wow, this is—
Keith: Like $30, maybe $34 a bottle, but I think it's a liter bottle, so it's a pretty good— It's pretty good value. And you can have it just as a glass of it on it straight up, or you could have it over ice. Maybe you want to throw an orange slice in there. I just like it with ice, honestly. Just a little bit of ice and some red vermouth. It's great.
Darcy: Is it this black bottle that just says MUZ in big red letters on it?
Keith: Yeah, it's a white bottle. The black that you're seeing is the color of the, of the vermouth. Ah, you see at the top near the neck, it's actually a dark red.
Darcy: Oh yeah, okay.
Keith: Unbelievable. It's so good. It's crazy good. It's kind of hard to find, but if you ever see this— Anybody listening, if you ever see it, leap on it. Buy every bottle that they have at the store.
Darcy: That's intense.
Keith: Because it might be only— They might only have six. They might only have two. I mean, you know, they might not have any. [Sylvi: They might not.] They probably won't have any. You don't have to buy six, but, you know, buy a couple because you'll be— you'll drink it, you'll be like, I fucking wish I had another bottle of that. Anyway, don't drink Lillet, drink that. And that's back to the show.
Sylvi: And that’s Keith’s Recommendation Corner.
[another fake musical sting]
Keith: Um, she fucking wrecks this guy.
Sylvi: It rocks. It's so good. Get his ass.
Keith: It's so good. She basically— I mean, it's almost, it's almost too accurate to what's happening. She's, she's so right about him. My, my perspective, she's so right about him that it's almost a shame that she's so right, for the show where like, there she goes, she solved Father Phil. I know this guy's coming back. [Sylvi: Yeah.] There's no way this guy's—
Sylvi: No, Carmela's solved all of her relationships with men now.
Keith: Well, then, so that's the thing is that she's so right about him. How does she get back to a place where she's going back to Father Phil? Because this is— There's no way the book's closed on this. To me, I think. Um, but she's like, you have this fucked up thing where you get off on the sexual tension because you're a priest and because I'm married. And it's not just with me, it's with other people. And you use me for my food and my alcohol and my coffee and my sound system and my, uh, TV. Uh, And you know as well as I do that Tony's not going to change. So why do you bring it up? And fuck you and get out of here. And I don't even like Renée Zellweger.
Sylvi: Get her ass! 
Art: Yeah. Renée Zellweger catching an incredible number of strays just in one scene.
Sylvi: So fucking funny.
Keith: It is crazy to specifically name an actress, I think, but...
Darcy: Do you think they, like, called Renée Zellweger before this episode came out to, like, let her know?
Art: No.
Keith: No, I do not think that.
Darcy: So you think this is intentional shade at Renée Zellweger?
Keith: It should have just been an older movie with an actress who's old or dead.
Sylvi: He needed the excuse of like, this is out on DVD now.
Keith: Well, but it's the new— Everything's coming out on DVD now.
Sylvi: Fair, fair. I don't know.
Keith: They re-release old movies.
Sylvi: I really don't mind them putting in a contemporary actor as the person they name-drop. It's just like a little character thing. It's not really a big deal.
Darcy: I mean, I'm not like hurt or upset on her behalf. It's just like, it's just crazy.
Keith: It's just, yeah.
Darcy: Like, damn.
Art: Especially if you look, it's like, very early career Renée Zellweger.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Oh yeah.
Art: It's like, it's like a shot in the dark. Like, this is before Bridget Jones. This is before—
Darcy: Yeah, this is me saying— 
Keith: It's before Me, Myself, and Irene.
Art: It's before Me, Myself, and Irene!
Keith: It's before— After Me, Myself, and Irene, maybe you say something about Renée Zellweger.
Art: But a Renée Zellweger who hasn't even made Me, Myself, and Irene?
Sylvi: We have to stop saying Mr, Myself, and Irene.
Keith: Uh, uh, is it before, uh, Jerry Maguire? That's her, right?
Art: No, it's after Jerry Maguire.
Keith: It's after Jerry Maguire. Okay.
Speaker D: Wow.
Art: But before her titular role in Me, Myself, and Irene—
Keith: She's the Irene from Me, Myself, and Irene!
Darcy: Is this before or after Bridget Jones's Diary?
Art: Before Bridget Jones.
Keith: Before Bridget Jones, yeah. Um, Kevin Anderson from Me, Myself, and Irene is going to be heartbroken.
Sylvi: I haven't seen it. I feel left out.
Art: You haven't seen Me, Myself, and I?
Sylvi: No.
Keith: You don't remember when Jim Carrey sucks that titty?
Sylvi: What? [hysteria from Keith] I didn't know Jim was moving like that.
Keith: This is— Don't watch that movie. Don't go watch that movie in 2026.
Sylvi: I don't think— Wow, it takes place in Rhode Island though, Keith.
Keith: Uh, yeah, but he plays a cop. He plays a state trooper, so...
Sylvi: Oh no.
Art: Rhode Island's own.
Keith: Fuck, is that— is that not the actor's name? It's not Kevin Anderson? Who's the guy from White Castle that goes, uh, we're gonna burn this motherfucker down?
Sylvi: I don't know.
Art: I assure you I have no idea what you're talking about.
Keith: Fuck!
Sylvi: Do you mean Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle?
Keith: Harold and Kumar, yeah, yeah, yeah. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. And he's like, we're gonna— This used to be White Castle here, but it's not anymore.
Sylvi: Is it Anthony Anderson?
Keith: Anthony Anderson. Yes, Anthony Anderson.
Sylvi: All right then. We solved the mystery.
Keith: Nobody tell Anthony Anderson what they said about Renée Zellweger in Sopranos.
Sylvi: Fine, that's fine. Um, I got so sidetracked by our tangent that I don't know what to say now. This is like— I never appreciated how hard it is to host a show until, until now, because I'm— I just like, I love going down the rabbit holes with my friends, but when I'm the one who is responsible for pulling us back out, it's hard.
Keith: It's, it's— I'll say I'm easier to deal with when I'm the host than when someone else is the host.
Sylvi: Keith. I've noticed.
[laughter]
Keith: Yeah. I know how to rein me in.
Sylvi: Now you tell me.
Keith: What's happening in the TV show?
Sylvi: Uh, duh... Okay, we're moving on from the Father Phil scene, yeah?
Art: Yeah.
Sylvi: Okay, then this is one of the best scenes in the season. It's Tony coming to Greengrove to kill his mom.
Keith: I recognize this woman.
Sylvi: The woman who stops him to tell him about the stroke?
Keith: Yeah, I think I've seen her in something.
Sylvi: I don’t. Hmm. Uh, I believe you. I just don't— I wouldn't be able to help you place her.
Keith: Yeah, that's fine. Uh, he's, he's really going off it in this one, this scene. This is great.
Sylvi: Oh yeah, he is ready to— He's ready to kill.
Keith: He's ready to kill.
Art: I, I really like how casually and quickly he selects his murder pillow.
Sylvi and Darcy: Mm-hmm.
Art: He considers the pillows, picks one, and yeah, then he like—
Darcy: Starts fluffing it up.
Keith: He does the same thing with the stapler when he staples Mikey's chest in the episode where he does that. He like looks at the stapler and then just grabs it.
Sylvi: He'd be a great Agent 47.
Keith: He would be a great Agent 47.
Sylvi: Oh man, it's I was gonna say, uh, this is the alternate universe where he's still alive. A James Gandolfini Elusive Target would go crazy. But don't do it now. Don't do it now. It's weird now.
Art: Um, that's what makes it weird. 
Sylvi: It’s— No, it is, it is, it is, it is weird in the way— it would be weird in the way that Tupac in that, uh, not-Yakuza Yakuza game is weird. You know?
Keith: Yeah. Especially because it takes place in the past. It'd be one thing if it took place in the '90s.
Sylvi: What? It's an alternate, alternate history, blah blah blah. I don't know, they excused it in some dumb way. Um, we— let's— I want to talk about this scene because I love, I love the performances here. I love Tony, after hearing that she had a stroke, going to just like, whisper in her ear instead and like, be like, I know what you did. instead of like, actually going through with it, presumably because there are a bunch of EMTs there and he cannot just get away with murder. But him following along with the stretcher while, while sort of like whispering in her ear about things goes crazy to me. I love that shit. And I love [Darcy: It's so good.] Uh, I love Livia smiling at him.
Keith: Yeah, and him like, trying to show the EMTs that she's smiling. Like, look, she's— She's faking, she's smiling.
Sylvi: She’s smiling, you can see it.
Keith: And she was. You can see it.
Sylvi: He was correct in, in, in all regards about this. Uh, yeah, I adore it. Um, I— The— Him losing his temper and attacking the EMTs and then getting pulled off, really, really good.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: Um, the, the closeness. It goes into like— There's like a slow-mo to when he gets in the fight too, or like frame cutting. I don't know how else to describe it, but it's like— Yeah, yeah, it is.
Art: It is like, like, in slow motion.
Sylvi: Yeah, but it's not like a smooth slow-mo. For anyone who's not watching, um—
Keith: They do the same thing actually when, uh, a couple times in the show, uh, it's because they're shooting at the same frame rate. They just play it slower. So yeah, you don't get the smooth frames. Like if you really want to shoot slow-mo, you'll shoot at like hundreds of frames per second and then slow it down to a normal frame rate. Uh, uh, when they're gonna kill Jimmy, when they shoot Jimmy in the head, he reaches for his gun and then Silvio shows up behind him, and that does the same thing where it's like, it's slow-mo but they shot it at 30, and so they just have to play 30 at 20 or something.
Sylvi: That sounds right. It looks like that for sure. Yeah. Um, sorry, I was, I was, uh, I had a— The, the episode open in And I was, I was, uh, looking at this, and I think you're— You are 100% on the money with the technique they used here.
Keith: Thank you.
Sylvi: You're welcome. I think that, like, the decision to have Livia's last scene in this season be her with a like, um, oxygen mask on, sort of sneering at Tony is such a good enduring image of her. Um, kind of like, sums her up to me in a nutshell, where like, even when she— Her health is failing, uh like, and you can believe that whether you want like, uh, or not like, it's up to you, but like, even if her, her health is failing, she's still this like, spite elemental. Um, and it's great. It's a great performance. It's a really, I think like, I, I, I know that we're all pretty convinced that it is like, an act from her, but I think that there is enough plausible deniability that it does feel like a bit of a gutsy move, um, to, to, to have this be, uh, like, a thing in the season finale of your show. I don’t know.
Keith: I think about a lot, uh, we've all seen I Think You Should Leave.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Keith: Okay. Uh, one thing that I always think about when I'm watching those sketches is like, there's a very funny thing that Tim Robinson does a lot, which is like, how could the characters in this scene have lived a life up until this point? And it's like, they couldn't have. It would be impossible. This guy flipping out over a tiny little thing, couldn't have lived a life. He's born to be in this sketch.
Sylvi: And that's kind of one of the— I haven't seen all of it, but isn't that like, kind of one of the key jokes about The Chair Company? Is like, what if we took one of these guys and like, had him actually be a character in a series?
Keith: I have also not seen— I've only seen the pilot of The Chair Company.
Sylvi: Well, the pilot has the scene I'm specifically thinking of where he wakes up in the middle of the night and starts—
Keith: That's why it was so funny. 
Sylvi: Yelling at his— Yeah, yelling.
Keith: The worst pillow in town! Yeah, that's the one.
Sylvi: Yeah, like, that's the I think you should leave skit, and then the rest of the episode is that guy existing in the world.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: To a degree. Obviously, it's played up 'cause it's a comedy, but I get what you mean.
Keith: And so, so the thing that's, like, so funny about Livia is that she's like, such a like, demonic force in his life in these few months that this one season takes place in, that it's like, it's hard for me to imagine how you could have lived your 37 years as her son up to this point at all, let alone— Like, I know that we start, it's like, he's literally dying. Like, he hates her so much and she's so awful that it's literally killing him. And that's how the season starts, and it only gets worse. The only difference is that he's like, taking medicine, and going to therapy. But I'm always thinking about how—
Darcy: I could tell you stories that are much worse than this, unfortunately.
Keith: But he— I mean, I know, I'm sure that you could. Livia's not the worst person on the planet.
Darcy: She's close. Let's be fair. She's pretty close.
Keith: She's pretty close. But it's like Tony has no way to deal with her until episode 1 of this season.
Darcy: Uh, I mean, to be in denial.
Keith: Sure.
Darcy: Which is why I— Which is, I think, part of why he starts having like, panic attacks that cause him to pass out.
Keith: Yeah.
Darcy: Because he's just trying to deny how awful his mother is on top of, you know, everything else that is going on, but.
Keith: Right. I'm just trying to think of like— We've seen 6 months, multiply that by almost 100, and that's Tony Soprano's life with Livia.
Darcy: Yeah. The power of the societal narrative in America of like, that you are supposed to love your family and stick by your family, [Keith: Couldn’t be me.] Is like, so psychologically destructive. No, I'm glad it's not, Keith. I need you to understand how much of the exception you are.
Keith: Yeah. I mean, I've seen it, but I've also seen it before.
Darcy: Yeah. Oh no, I know. Yeah, I know you. 
Keith: But, uh, I can't relate. I can't relate. I've seen it, but I can't relate.
Darcy: Yeah. No, it's, it's, it's brutal, man. It's brutal.
Keith: Yeah.
Darcy: The, the hold that like, destructive— There's a lot of buzzwords for it now, like narcissistic parents, uh, emotionally immature parenting and stuff like that. But like, the destruction that they can just have over someone for their whole life unchecked and like, unacknowledged is, is, is awful. It's just awful.
Keith: Uh, yeah, shout out to Tony Soprano. I would also be a, uh— I'd be a killer if I had to pretend to like my family.
[Sylvi hysteria]
Darcy: This is my therapeutic advice, is you should go to the hospital and grab a pillow and do what you gotta do.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: Holy shit.
Art: It helps if they're at the hospital. Yeah.
Keith: Oh yeah, get them to the hospital first.
Darcy: It's important for them to get care at the hospital.
Keith: Where, where, where is— Son, where are we going? Hey, listen to this podcast. Darcy Swan said I had to take you to the hospital to do this thing.
Darcy: Yeah, to get them the care that they need at the hospital. My license number is—
Keith: Oh, this is a good bit.
Sylvi: This is the new Keith reading his credit card.
Keith: Ve-new-vios?
Sylvi: Yes, Ve-new-vios. It's only going to be Ve-new-vios for this one episode, then it's just going to be standard Vesuvios going forward. So we got to enjoy it while we can.
Darcy: Unless there's a third Vesuvios.
Sylvi: Fuck, fuck, they figured it out, Art.
Keith: If they blow up—
Sylvi: They know that there's a new Vesuvius every season.
Keith: It's like the Death Star.
Sylvi: I was gonna say it's like Doctor Who regenerating, but yeah, that's also good.
Keith: Um, I love Paulie with his stupid fucking cream on. I know this motherfucker doesn't have poison ivy. You can't fool me. Season 2, Paulie is totally gonna be about how Paulie thinks he keeps getting diseases.
Sylvi: It just looks like he made a mess shaving.
Keith: It does sort of look like he just made a mess shaving.
Sylvi: Um, I really like this scene for many reasons. Um, so where would y'all like to start with this? Like, the Sopranos coming to Vesuvius— sorry, Ve-new-vios.
Keith: Ve-new-vios.
Sylvi: Uh, and like the, the sort of like, almost like, family, uh, like, family movie vibe we get at the end.
Art: Um, well, I, I like Charmaine, who comes out and is like, no cigars, please, as like, as like, her walkaway line after like, the kids are in the kitchen if you want to see. Charmaine, who hates Tony but does decide that she's not gonna let them go to McDonald's in a hurricane or whatever the fuck.
Sylvi: Charmaine, who's been very against this being a mob hangout, and then the last scene of it in the season is multiple mobsters hanging out there.
Art: And hiring Adriana? Like, she's the one who likes Adriana?
Darcy: Yeah. Yeah.
Sylvi: To be fair, she does seem like she's picking up the job real quick.
Keith: I—
Art: And then the other thing I like is, uh, uh, Paulie was talking to Sil— Sylvio about the therapist thing and is like, how does this sit with your ass? And Silvio goes, I usually do sit with my ass. Perfect. No notes.
Sylvi: Yeah, really good.
Keith: I like that Silvio, despite not being the one who admitted to going to therapy, is the one who's most fine with it.
Sylvi: It rocks. It rocks. It also rocks that Sylv— Uh, uh, that, um, Paulie is like, I don't know how that sits with me after like, all that. And then it's just an excuse for him to be misogynist.
Keith: Right. And then—
Art: You went to a therapist!
Keith: Silvio calls him out for his problems with women because he's an ally, feminist ally, Silvio Dante.
Art: Mm-hmm.
Darcy: Mm-hmm.
Art: Feminist ally and strip club owner, Silvio Dante.
Keith: Those women make a lot of money.
Darcy: Hey! Sex work is work, Art.
Keith: Tony says how much money they make.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Darcy: You trying to say they're not working?
Sylvi: Mm-hmm.
Art: I wouldn't say they're not working, but I wouldn't say that we're getting—
Sylvi: I wouldn't say it's a great environment.
Darcy: Well, take that up with the labor union.
Keith: I don't know. I remember how torn up those girls were when they learned about Jackie's death. They're part of the family.
Sylvi: Yeah, that's true. They'll always remember where they are this day.
Keith: I'll always remember where I was.
Sylvi: Yeah, shout out to her. One of the funniest line reads on the show.
Keith: Uh, oh, I do have one more button to press actually.
Sylvi: Let's go.
Keith: About— With— It is with, uh, Silvio and Paulie here.
[audio for The Sopranos starts playing]
Paulie: The Skip seeing a psychiatrist. How's that sit with your ass?
Silvio: I usually do sit with my ass. Why don't you sit with yours?
Paulie: Hey, Pat Cooper over here.
Silvio: Wait a minute, this bothers you? You saw a fucking psychiatrist.
Paulie: Not a woman. I can't get past that. It don't compute for me. 
Silvio: You're the one with the fucking issues. Woman issues. I don't even want to fucking go there. 
Paulie: Well, let's not. Irregardless, I said my piece.
Silvio: What are you getting at, Paulie?
Paulie: Nothing. Look, he's gonna be the new boss now. In name, in everything. Wish him bona fortuna.
[audio ends]
Keith: Uh, bona fortuna is, um, Italian for good fortuna.
Sylvi: Oh.
Art: Mmm. Yeah. This warm weather, weather, it's bona fortuna.
Keith: Yeah. Yeah. Tunas love this weather.
Darcy: The Italian chicken of the sea.
Keith: The Italian chicken of the sea. Uh, I love that. I love Silvio being the voice of reason.
Sylvi: Yeah, I love Silvio. Shout out.
Darcy: Mm-hmm. I— Every once in a while I remember that he's also the guitarist from the E Street Band. Freaks me out.
Art: Yeah.
Sylvi: Did I tell the story about how I had to convince my mom that that was true?
Keith: No, my mom—
Darcy: No, but I believe it because it sounds ridiculous.
Sylvi: Well, like, no, because my mom is a big, uh, Bruce Springsteen fan, right? And I was— I tried to be like, that's, that's Steven Van Zandt, that's little Steven Van Zandt. And she was like, no, it couldn't be, he looks so different. And I was like, Mom! She did, she did see eventually. But it was, it was really funny just spending like, half a dinner trying to be like, no, I swear, he's got a weird wig on, but that's him.
Art: Well, if you look at pictures of him, like, in the rest of his life, he does not look—
Sylvi: No, not at all.
Art: He does not dress like this in his life.
Sylvi: I mean, he's always got the bandana on, is how I think of him outside of, um, outside of the Sopranos.
Darcy: Yeah, same.
Keith: It is a band— It's a big bandana band.
Art: Here's the photo on his Wikipedia page.
Sylvi: Yeah. Yeah, no, like, this is the thing. I had to be like— I did have to be like, here's one, here's two. Yeah, yeah.
Keith: The dinner scene is just kind of— Of course, when this—It's just kind of nice, you know? It's very obvious how steeped in the rest of what's going on Tony's speech is. But that's always been true of everything that he says to his family. If I owned a restaurant, I wouldn't serve Coke in a glass, you know, in a wine glass with ice. I would have non-alcoholic glasses for non-alcoholic drinks.
Sylvi: Fair. Uh, have you considered though that it feels cool to be a kid drinking out of a wine glass though?
Keith: That is simply not my concern as a restaurateur.
Sylvi: That's fine. I, I'm just speaking for the little, the little guys.
Darcy: Yeah.
Sylvi: Literally, 'cause they're 10.
Keith: Yeah.
Darcy: It's even cooler when you get like, ginger ale in there.
Keith: Oh, I mean, that's just such an underrated soda that— It's cool when you have ginger ale anywhere.
Darcy: Mm-hmm.
Keith: Why do we think ginger ale is the airplane soda?
Darcy: Isn't there like a science thing about how like, the— Like, it tastes like things taste different when you're at that like, altitude and under like, that level of pressure or whatever?
Sylvi: I believe that.
Keith: Maybe. But then you'd have to— You'd have to still drink ginger ale to make the association.
Sylvi: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, shit, I'll drink ginger ale anywhere.
Darcy: I just like the bubbles because it helps my ears feel better.
Keith: Anything else about the finale of season 1 of The Sopranos?
Sylvi: Yeah, this is the— I'm really—
Keith: I think— I know what else there is, if you need a reminder.
Sylvi: I do know what else there is for the show.
Keith: Right, for the show, yeah.
Sylvi: Which is, which is I need to hear what you guys think is gonna happen in season 2 of this show.
Keith: Okay.
Sylvi: Um, I think I— The only thing is I just really enjoy that Tony, after going through all the shit with his, um, mom and uncle, is like, all right, I gotta be a family man now. Um, it makes everything sadder to me. Um, I think, which I, I— is why I like that that's where they leave off the season.
Darcy: Um, it's a really sad show.
Sylvi: It's a sad show.
Darcy: Yeah, it's, it's very tragically sad.
Art: Mm-hmm.
Keith: Uh, okay, here's, here's—
Art: But it’s so funny.
Darcy: Oh, it is.
Keith: It's really funny. I had written a short list of, you know, sort of one-off thoughts about season 2. Um, and then, Sylvi, you said that you were gonna ask what we thought was gonna happen in season 2, and I was like, great, I already got this list.
Sylvi: I'm so glad. I really want to know.
Keith: Paulie continues to be germophobic.
Darcy: Okay. Can we take turns?
Keith: Yes. 
Sylvi: Yeah!
Darcy: Okay. Um, Melfi holds a gun.
Sylvi: Uh-oh.
Art: Mm.
Keith: Um, Melfi ditches Tony as a therapist, and he has to go through a pseudo-romantic ritual in order to bring her back.
Darcy: Okay. You said that one earlier, so I'll say Christopher gets made.
Keith: Uh, Christopher suicidal ideation.
Darcy: Oh, I don't like that.
Keith: Sorry, Christopher.
Darcy: Um, shit, I hadn't thought of anything else. Uh, hmm, Adriana and Chris get back together?
Sylvi: I mean, they're together at the end of this. Chris is visiting her. 
Darcy: Oh, are they?
Sylvi: Yeah.
Darcy: Okay, okay.
Sylvi: He's in the—
Darcy: Oh, that's right.
Sylvi: He's in Vesuvio, yeah.
Darcy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
Keith: Junior sees a therapist.
Sylvi: Oh, okay.
Darcy: That would be good.
Keith: Uh, and, um, yeah, this, this one, another one that I've already said. I think that Livia is faking her stroke and dementia.
Art: Sure.
Darcy: Uh, I think she's faking the dementia. I don't know about the stroke part. I almost wonder if we get any more like, speaking parts from Livia in season 2.
Keith: I bet that we lose Livia at some point. I know that she's dead now. I don't know if she dies during the run of the show. But I bet that she's in the show for like half of the show.
Darcy: Hmm.
Keith: Um, or more. I bet that she's not in at least the last season.
Darcy: Yeah.
Sylvi: Okay.
Darcy: Um, Keith, what do you think happened to Pussy? I feel like we're gonna figure that out in season 2.
Keith: I think that Pussy is going to, uh, show back up, and it's going to be a huge problem.
Sylvi: Okay. 
Darcy: Yeah. That sounds right.
Sylvi: You agree with that, Darcy?
Darcy: That sounds very like, yeah, like Tony's going to be so happy that his friend is back and everyone's going to be like, hey, are you not going to care about why he disappeared? And Tony's going to be like, that's my friend. And yeah.
Keith: Uh, I think it'll be a problem for Tony too.
Darcy: Oh yeah. It'll be the most problem for Tony. That's what the show's about.
Keith: Yeah, true. I think that there's going to be a more explicit power struggle between Junior and Tony because he's going to get out of jail.
Darcy: I wonder if Paulie is going to, at some point, get out of Tony's orbit? I don't think he's going to be like, I got to kill Tony because he saw a lady therapist. But I wonder if this is like, Paulie is gonna become somebody else's capo or something. I don’t know.
Sylvi: Oh, interesting. Um, I'm gonna go through— I tried to write these down as you went, so— Which is why I wasn't interjecting as much, and I'm certain I missed a few. So I'm just gonna go through these. We've got Paulie continuing to be a hypochondriac. We've got Melfi dumps Tony, he has to do a pseudo-romantic ritual to win her back. We've bought— Bought— Wow. We've got both Christopher made and Christopher suicidal ideation.
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvi: We've got Junior sees a therapist. We've got Livia is faking her stroke. Uh, I wrote Keith thinks Pussy is going to show back up and it will be a huge problem. Uh, Junior gets out of jail and Paulie escapes Tony's orbit, question mark.
Darcy: Uh, Melfi holds a gun.
Sylvi: Melfi holds a gun. I knew there was one early that I missed.
Keith: My favorite Aerosmith song.
Darcy: That may not be season 2, but at some point Melfi's gotta hold a gun.
Sylvi: You know, we can roll some over if it's not— 
Keith: Sure. Oh yeah, definitely— Definitely if any of these hit later, they still count.
Sylvi: Is that all of them though?
Darcy: I think so.
Keith: That kid that Meadow is seeing, he's gonna see a gun and it may be pointed at him.
Darcy: Oh yeah. I, uh, something, uh, I don't know what. Something tragic is gonna happen with, with AJ and like—
Keith: I think he's gonna start killing animals. 
Darcy: He’s gonna like, try to impress his dad or something. 
Sylvi: Whoa.
Darcy: No, I don't think he's gonna kill animals. I think he's gonna—
Sylvi: I'm writing this one that I'm putting Keith thinks in front of.
Darcy: I, I think he will try to do something on bat, like for for his dad that is mafia related, that will not go well.
Sylvi: Okay.
Darcy: Especially because they had like the scene where he was like, I don't think it was a, a carjacking.
Sylvi: Mm-hmm. Okay, those are some good— Those are good. I'm excited to come back to this. I'm glad that I had the— That I remembered to start, uh, writing shit down halfway through. 
Keith: Mm-hmm. Uh, anything else?
Sylvi: I don't have anything else. Do you guys have anything else you want to mention?
Keith: Nope.
Art: Banger of a season.
Keith: No, yeah.
Sylvi: Yeah, great season. Banger of a season, banger of a show.
Keith: Great season.
Sylvi: I'm really, really so happy that it's been hitting for both of you. Uh, and hopefully I— You know, I've heard from other people who are watching for the first time along with us that they're also really enjoying it. And that makes me— Also makes me really happy. So if that's you, let us know. I'd love, I'd love to hear that, uh, and along with other 5-star reviews, including this one that I'm about to read. [reading]This is from BagelBot3000. It is titled A Perfect Pizza of a Podcast. I love the whole Friends of the Table family of podcasts and others featuring Friends of the Table cast members. I've been a longtime actual play podcast listener, and this crew is probably the smartest in the biz. [stops reading] Thank you. [reading] Which also makes them the funniest in the biz. [stops reading] Thank you.
Keith: Thank you.
Sylvi: [reading] Media Club Plus is like when you are chatting with a friend and you both just start info dumping at each other with all the joy, love, and diversion of such a conversation. [stops reading] This is why I read this, 'cause yeah, it is. [reading] I highly recommend this show to anyone who's interested in genuinely incredible in-depth analysis of film and TV and more? [stops reading] Thank you. I'm saying the thank yous, by the way. [reading] That will also leave your abs sore from laughing and your roommate looking at you like you're crazy because you're laughing at something they can't hear. Put it on your speaker, make them a fan too. P.S., I appreciate your shout out to film/TV editors in the latest ep. I know a number of people in film who work as editors and they are some of the coolest, most tireless, dedicated people I know. [stops reading] Yeah, no, my brief stint in film school, my editing teacher was one of my favorites. That guy was chill as hell. Shout out to the editors. And thank you for everyone who has given us a 5-star review. Someone said 5-star podcast, gave us a 5-star review and then 4-star runtimes. Say what, Steve? What do you want? 12 hours?
Art: This can't get any longer.
Keith: This cannot get any longer.
Sylvi: This can't get any longer for our own well-being.
Keith: It can't. It literally cannot get longer.
Sylvi: So please don't. Please, please, please, please stay focused on the game.
Keith: Especially this season where we've had 2 4+ hour episodes.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Darcy: Yeah.
Art: This one episode episode, I guess there's a break we're gonna have coming up, but we're at 3 hours and 20 minutes.
Keith: Yeah. This is gonna be, this is gonna be a 3 hour and 10 minute episode.
Sylvi: To also be fair, this is the one where we talk about the season as a whole quite a bit.
Keith: Yeah. Yeah.
Art: Yeah.
Sylvi: Uh, anything else you guys want to mention before we take off?
Keith: Listen to Friends at the Table.
Sylvi: Yeah. Listen to Side Story.
Keith: Uh, go watch Run Button.
Sylvi: Yeah. Uh, check out the Friends at the Table YouTube. We have a lot of stuff up on there that I think you guys would— If you enjoy us being silly, you should watch us be silly while playing video games.
Keith: Uh, yeah, there's actually way more space to be way more silly.
Sylvi: Yeah.
Darcy: True.
Sylvi: Um, I still think a lot about you and Art doing the moving the glass game on our charity stream.
Keith: I gotta put those up.
Sylvi: They're good.
Keith: Yeah.
Darcy: They are good.
Sylvi: But yeah, I think, I think that's— I can't think of anything else to plug, so I'm gonna say that's it for us for now. Um, this is your last chance to stop me.
[“Shame About It (Vocals)” by Jack de Quidt starts playing]
Keith: Uh, you're stopped.
Sylvi: Okay, I'm stopped. What do you want to mention?
Keith: Bye.
Art: Bye!
[group laughter]
[“Shame About It (Vocals)” by Jack de Quidt plays in its entirety]


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[1] The name/username in the audio recording are no longer in use, hence the audio/transcript discrepancies.