Perpetua 19: A Roar Across Cenn 01 Transcriber: frog (fferaldogs) Opening Narration 1 Introduction [0:02:40] 2 Recap [0:13:18] 16 Cenn, City of Iron Chains [0:18:41] 21 Hexcloak Offices [0:29:58] 28 Beach Day [0:44:35] 39 Seaside Sport [0:58:25] 55 All Tied Up [1:16:26] 76 Match Point [1:31:56] 94 Game Over [1:47:15] 113 Mayor’s Office [1:51:02] 118 Opening Narration [“Startup” by Jack de Quidt plays] [“Perpetua” by Jack de Quidt begins playing] Austin: Called to Cenn, City of Iron Chains, Caoimhe Wake, Antistrophe Landrace, Brontë Adelvys and his two attendants, arrive to find crisis rumbling in the burg. The Hexcloaks have quietly taken over town governance, while outside, tremors have turned to quakes, even bringing harm to the Ironclad Parade—the statuary whose inhabitants were once living devotees to Castine, Living Metal. Perhaps such devotion is earned in part by the curious community that Castine has built here in Cenn since his arrival a century ago. While the archaeological dig that gave Cenn its full moniker continues, the city is now known just as well for the smells of its sizzling food, its many seaside diversions, and the spiritual contemplation offered by the lunar temple that graces the moon resting at its center. There, Castine walks with pilgrims who have traveled seeking his company, his wisdom, or his divine favor. But however pure he’s kept his temple, he could never keep it safe from the prying eyes of the other members of the Ennead. Ryme, Master of Ice. Lucena, Bringer of Light. Zephius, the Old Wind. Gritt of the Earth. Scintero, Living Bolt. Cinner, Soldier of Ash. Pharmakos the Poisoner. Caliginia, Fated Darkness. None of these divine beings are omniscient and none omnipotent, but each is capable, powerful, and driven by their own ends, their own understanding of responsibility, and their own relationship to the Perpetuan Cycle. What must they think, you might wonder, about the Sourcerot, which threatens to end the world ahead of its scheduled decline. What must they think about these heroes journeying across continents in search of destiny? Well, my own thoughts will be saved for now. But soon, in the city of Cenn, one so-called god will speak. [“Perpetua” by Jack de Quidt plays until track ends] Introduction [0:02:40] Austin: Welcome to Friends at the Table, an actual play podcast focused on critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, and fun interaction between good friends. I’m your host, Austin Walker. Joining me today, Janine Hawkins. Janine: Hi! I’m Janine Hakwins! Every Tuesday, I put up a newsletter on our Patreon. It is a hundred percent free to read and— Austin: It’s true. Janine: If you follow us there—not subscribed even, just follow us on Patreon which is a thing you can do—it will be delivered in full to your inbox. You do have to be a paying patron to comment on it, but I don’t have an option to turn that off. Austin: Yeah, that’s- that’s—yeah. Janine: Yeah, I think— Austin: But you could pay a dollar to comment. It doesn’t have to be [Janine: Yeah.] a lot of money. Sylvi: That’s how the internet should’ve always been. Janine: I think you can also heart things for free, I don’t know. Anyway, you should do that cause it’s fun. Read it, [Austin: Also—] it tells you stuff. Austin: The other thing you get with- for one dollar, for being a Patreon, besides the Clapcast, which is conversations like the ones we were just having might show up in a Clapcast. You don’t know what it is, but it was very funny. [laughs] It was a classic time dot is motivated conversation. But another thing that I think is worth saying is: Bluff City is available for free on our Patreon, it’s also for free on our Youtube channel, but if what you want is an RSS feed with Bluff City in it, the Patreon feed has it, but you can’t get the Patreon feed without paying a dollar. We can’t- I can’t—there is nothing I can do on my side to give you the RSS feed, [Keith: Right.] but for one dollar, you get the RSS feed, so you know! Consider giving us a buck if you want to go listen to Bluff City, some of the best stuff we’ve ever done. Also right now, you know, for just five bucks you can get access to Realis, so. Just getting all of our Patreon push right now. Friendsatthetable.cash, friendsatthetable.cash, friendsatthetable.cash. Also joining us, Keith Carberry. [brief pause] Janine: Reaching for the button. Audibly reaching for the button. [laughs] Keith: I tried to press my button. Austin: Ohh. [laughs] Keith: Yeah, it was muted because it- I was recording Hunter x Hunter [Janine: Ohhh.] and I use the slider to phase things in and out. [soundboard clip of Keith’s voice plays] F-f-friends at the Table dot cash. Janine: There you go. Austin: I wasn’t even trying to do that, I was trying to do like Matthew Lesko turn to the tv, you know what I mean? Free money guy. Keith: Yes, yeah yeah yeah. Austin: Yeah, yeah. Keith: Matthew—this is like the fourth time Matthew Lesko’s come up in six months. Austin: I just brought it up on AMCA and no one knew who he was and I— Sylvi: I have no idea who that is. Keith: Oh! Austin: I knew you would know, Keith. [Keith: Okay.] Well I don’t expect Janine, you or Sylvi to know who this is. Sylvi: American! Austin: I knew Sylvi was speaking first. Keith: Okay, Matthew Lesko the human- the real Riddler. Austin: [laughs] That’s right. Keith: The real life Riddler. Austin: [laughs] That’s right. Sylvi: Like Paul Dano. Keith: He wears a wild suit and he has crazy white hair and big glasses and he tells you— Austin: And what’s on his suit? What’s on the suit? Janine: Oh yeah, I know. I know this, but through osmosis. Keith: It’s question marks! Austin: It’s question marks. Yeah, through osmosis. Keith: It’s question marks. Janine: He wants you to get government money or something, right? Sylvi: Oh! Austin: He wants you to get government money. Sylvi: Okay, I did hear you explain this. Austin: Yes. Keith: It’s so easy to get government money! It’s sitting there for you to get! Austin: It’s just sitting there! Sylvi: This looks like— Austin: We should get some of this free government money. Oh— Keith: We should just get some of this free government money. Austin: They’re getting rid of the government money? Oh, uh oh. Keith: Uh oh. Janine: Awe. Sylvi: Like an evil David Lynch. Austin: [laughs] Keith: It’s funny because he is sort of like the guy who’s worried about free government money would see Matthew Lesko and have a conniption. But if you look into what he’s talking about at all, it’s like, are you starting a small business? You can get a grant. Are you buying a first house? Austin: Yeah, that’s right. Keith: You can get a grant. Are you- did you write a poem? You can submit—like it is like, okay, you could like shoddily pump out a bunch of poems to send to try to get a thousand dollars, but that— Austin: But actually what’s probably happening is you’re a poet. Keith: Actually what’s happening is you’re a poet. Austin: Yeah. Keith: Like, the stuff that he’s doing, most of it—he talks about it like it’s a scam to get free money, but really you are applying for grants. Austin: That’s right. That is correct. He’s writing grant guides. Keith: And maybe no one else applied for a grant and the grant really needs to get given out to someone. Austin: Uh huh. Keith: Or they stop getting the money to give grants to people. Austin: That’s- that’s how it goes. Sylvi: Yeah. Keith: Yeah. This guy’s a really funny character, I think. Austin: Where can people find you, Keith? [laughs] Janine: [laughs] Austin: [laughing] Now that we’ve done our regular— Keith: You can find me outside government businesses in my fancy suit. [laughs] Austin: [laughing] I see! Keith: [laughs] I’ve dressed up just like Matthew Lesko, but I’ve added an ornate cane. Sylvi and Austin: [laugh] Keith: Um, you can find me by searching Keith J Carberry on Bluesky, and you can go to youtube.com/runbutton to watch Run Button videos. Run Button videos are really good. Austin: I hope you’re doing the like, “why are you closed” bit [laughs] about the government money. Now that they’re all— Keith: Yes, yes, we’re all- we’re banging on the— Austin: [laughing] Banging on the wall. Keith: What is it, the Toronto—? Sylvi: That is the Toronto Eaton Centre. Austin: [laughing] The Toronto mall, yeah. Janine: The Eaton Centre. Keith: Yeah, the Eaton Centre. Janine: Downtown. Sylvi: Thank you. Keith: I’m banging on the walls of the Eaton Centre. Austin: [laughs] Sylvi: People wanna shop. Austin: People want- people want free money! Janine: The Eaton Centre, despite the fact that Eaton’s doesn’t exist and hasn’t been there [Austin: laughs] for god knows how long. [soundboard clip of a popular Youtube video plays] [white noise of urban traffic in the background] Angry Man: By what right do you exclude the population? Austin: [laughing] How do you have that?! On the board?! [soundboard clip plays] [white noise of urban traffic in the background] Angry Man: [laughs sardonically] Let the police cut off my balls, I don’t mind because it’s the cops and they’re always right. Austin: [laughing] Ali, do with that what you will! Janine: Wow. Keith: [laughs] Sylvi: This guy and the “I’ve been to Waterloo where the vampires live” guy are two like [Janine: laughs] real legends to me. Those are like Canadian folkloric heroes. Austin: [sighs] Janine: And Ikea monkey, but— Sylvi: Or villains, probably. Janine: Ikea monkey didn’t choose that life and the other guys did. Austin: Mm. Keith: [laughs] It’s so exciting to me that that guy got brought up not by me [Austin: laughs] so that I could press my buttons in response to someone else. Austin: Oh, we’re lobbing the pickleball back and forth. [laughs] Keith: Yeah, yeah. Austin: You know? Sylvi: It’ll get in your eye. Austin: Did you say where you were from? Can I go on to Sylvi now? Keith: Yeah. Austin: Sylvi, also here, Sylvi Bullet. Sylvi: Hey, I’m Sylvi. You can find me over on Bluesky at sylvibullet. You should check out Media Club Plus. I think by the time this is out, we’ll have probably wrapped all of Hunter x Hunter, like including the Q&A? Austin: Easy. We are still months away from this episode coming out. Keith: Okay. Sylvi: Yeah cause when we’re recording this, a new arc started for the other side. Austin: That’s right, yeah. Sylvi: So I think- I think we’ll be in— Austin: And that’ll run for about three weeks and then we’ll switch over to us for about three weeks, and then we’re gonna go back to that side for another couple weeks [Sylvi: Okay.] and then we’ll come back here. Is my guess. Sylvi: Yeah, so go listen to our M. Night Shyamalan podcast then. Austin: That’s right. Sylvi: Media Club Plus. We’re doing— Keith: Yeah, we’ve only recorded once so far, but it’s been really good. Sylvi: It’s been great. Austin: I’m excited. Sylvi: Art, Ali, Keith, and I doing it. And also you should go back and listen to the entire Hunter x Hunter archive if you haven’t. We’re done that now. Keith: Sylvi, did you like my new intro? Sylvi: For the Media Club Plus? For the M. Night one? Keith: Yeah. Sylvi: Yes, I did. I also really liked your delivery on it. Keith: [laughs] Thank you. Sylvi: You can also check out—did we mention the Youtube? Austin: Only briefly. Sylvi: Youtube dot com— Keith: Go to youtube.com/friendsatthetable— Sylvi: Yeah, you should check that out. Keith: To watch the VODs from the Twitch. Sylvi: Yes, uh something—I’m gonna shout out a thing that I think is underrated on that- on our Youtube, which is the Unincorporated games we played— Austin: Oh true! Janine: Oh yeah. Sylvi: With Janine, Keith, Ali and I. Keith: Mhm. Sylvi: It was very fun. Seek that out. And also— Keith: Another way to get that in the feed, if you want that as an RSS, is friendsatthetable.cash. Austin: That’s right. Sylvi: That’s true. And my self indulgent plug is my band recently—it’ll be out for a month or so by the time this is up—but my band just put out an EP at gutmachineband.bandcamp.com. If you like loud music and cool guitars, you should check it out. Keith: Of course EP stands for especially powerful. Sylvi: Yep! Austin: That’s right. Sylvi: And that’s me, especially powerful. Austin: I love it. Janine: Sylvi, can you put that in the newsletter thing when it drops? Sylvi: Yeah, absolutely! Janine: Thank you. Austin: Um, trying to think of anything else. Oh, friendsatthetable.shop. This is the first episode we’re recording since— Janine: Yeah! Keith: Oh this is huge, yeah. Austin: The Fleggs have dropped. We already shouted them out on the episode when they did drop, but hey, why not do it again. Friendsathetable.shop, we have two different sets of stickers with Fleggs on them, we have two different sets of shirts with Fleggs on them. [laughs] Including the Roll20 Flegg drawing [Janine: laughs] that I did during the initial [Keith: Mhm.] Flegg ins- Flegg inspiration, Flegg brainstorming— Janine: Flegg-ception? Flegg— Austin: Flegg-ception. During Flegg-ception. Janine: Yeah. Sylvi: Flegg-ception. Austin: Yeah. Which Ali has labeled “concept art shirt” [laughs] which is very funny to me. Janine: [laughs] Austin: And I have to tell this story now, which is we were a day before putting these out and I went, what would it look like if I just put a Flegg, the Flegg, the original Flegg on the shirt? Just to see. And I vectored it up and put it up there—and I ordered myself one, because you can do that with our- with Fourthwall, the shop that we use, the backend. You can be like send—I’m gonna buy one for myself, just to see. And then I think by the next day, Ali was like, we should just make these. So we did. Keith: Yeah. I think these shirts have cross appeal, especially the [Austin: Me too.] concept art shirt. Austin: Me too. Yeah, I think these are— Keith: You don’t have to know what a Flegg is to wear that Flegg shirt. Austin: I think that this is- I think that these are—both of these designs. Friend of the show, Lucas H also did the- did like a 3D model of a Flegg? Actually a few of them. Janine: Mhm. Austin: Those show up on the small gang shirt and on the Flegg planner stickers and on the Flegg generations stickers, which are like different render qualities also? Which I love. Keith: Yeah. Austin: I love the cel shaded Flegg, it’s really good. Janine: Different generations, it’s beautiful. Austin: Oh and! Janine: It’s a beautiful thing. Keith: I like the double length nose Flegg. Austin: Double length nose Flegg is so funny. You know everyone on the forums was like, what did they do to the Flegg nose. [laughs] Keith: [laughs] Austin: Also, by now people know that the strange green Flegg with the cloak, that’s the Fleggus. Sylvi: My nemesis. Austin: Right now, people are buying these, going, who’s that Flegg? Now they know. Sylvi: Who’s that big Flegg? Keith: Now they know. Austin: [laughs] Who’s that big Flegg? Keith: Oh the- that’s- the Fleggus went out before the Fleggus appeared. Janine: Uh huh. Austin: That’s right, a little preview. Keith: That’s wild, wow. Austin: Like an advertisement, you know what I mean? You were [Keith: Yes.] opening your Electronic Gaming Monthly and you’re going, well wait a second— Janine: Well that— Austin: Who’s this weird Flegg? Janine: That game didn’t localized until like way after the ones after so like— Austin: That’s right. [laughs] It’s true. Janine: It’s kind of like a throwback, but a lot of people don’t understand. Austin: That’s true. Keith: Do you think we’re gonna get a- we’re gonna get a bump, a Fourthwall bump, when Fleggus appears? Austin: I think so. Keith: People are gonna be like, now I know! Austin: Yeah, I think people are gonna be like, oh my god, now I respect the Fleggus. [laughs] Keith: Contains the universe in his shell. Austin: [laughs] I regret my words and deeds. You know? I have to support the Fleggus now. Sylvi: Now I know why the Fleggus is always in a bikini top. Austin: [laughs] That’s right. It has to breathe through its shell. Sylvi: Yeah! Keith: [laughs] Sylvi: Oh my god, we should have a beach Flegg in a bikini. Austin: Spoilers, Keith. Janine: They can just do that. Yeah. Austin: Yeah. Keith: This I know, cause that’s the only- that’s the only— Austin: Oh right, you played that one. Keith: Kojima game I ever played, yeah. Austin: That’s right. Of course. Keith: Before starting the let's play. Austin: That’s right, of course. Keith: Yeah. Austin: Which you can go find on Run Button, right? Keith: Yeah. Youtube.com/runbutton. Recap [0:13:18] Austin: There you go. Alright, today we are continuing our game of Fabula Ultima by Emanuele Galletto. Our goals are to breathe life into the world and its characters, to play as heroes, to play to change and evolve, to ask questions and build on the answers, and to play to find out what happens. Last time [Sylvi: laughs] was a train journey primarily. We dealt with the Fleggs a couple weeks ago, then we dealt with getting onto a train, riding a train. Sylvi: Yeah. Austin: Y’all remember who you met on this train? Sylvi: We met my lovely childhood friend, Kley, and their mom whose name I— Keith: Jerk mom. Sylvi: Forgot to write down. Janine: [laughs] Austin: Jerk mom— Sylvi: Hey, she likes me. Austin: Delani. Delani, the— Sylvi: Delani. Austin: The Kaina [K-eye-na] family, or Kaina [Kayna]. The Kaina [Kayna] family. K-a-i-n-a. Keith: What was the first friend’s name again? Austin: Kley. Keith: Kley. Austin: K-l-e-y. And— Janine: We got a lovely thank you letter from them. Austin: You did get a lovely thank you letter, that’s true. Yeah, a hundred percent. You were headed to the city of Cenn, Iron Chains because you’d been called there. Or not all of you, but Caoimhe you had been and Antistrophe and Brontë are traveling with you, as they do. You’ve been called there for mysterious reasons. You know that the leader of the Hexcloaks is there currently, whose name is Aegir [Ay-ger]. Is that- am I pronouncing that right? I remember we went over this last time. Sylvi: I think we might have been saying- I think I was saying Aegir [Eye-ger]. Austin: You were saying Aegir. I wrote down— Keith: Like the Disney guy? Sylvi: Ohhh. Austin: Oh my god. Janine: Bob Iger? Sylvi: It’s Aegir [Ay-ger] now. Austin: It’s A— Keith: It’s Aegir now. Austin: For what it’s worth, I did at some point—what’s his name, it’s like Thera something. What’s his first name? Thereus. Sylvi: Thereus. Yeah. Austin: Thereus Aegir. Sylvi: Thereus Aegir, yeah. Austin: I wrote E-Y-G-R, E-Y hyphen G-I-R, Aegir, as if that’s what you told me it should be, but. Sylvi: I might of! I don’t know. Austin: So maybe you did. Maybe you did. Sylvi: [laughs] Austin: In any case, Commander Thereus Aegir is there. And so that’s why you’re going. The Kaina family are going because Delani, who is up there in age, is going to meet with Castine, one of the members of the Ennead. Seemingly the only one who really spends a lot of time with us wee mortals and Cenn, City of Iron Chains, is where he lives. He lives on a moon that has been dug up from the ground. That is kind of at the center of what was once a vast archaeological dig site that has become sort of one of the major cities. It has always been one of the major city-states of the Elevana League, but its central organizational principle was: we’re gonna dig up seeming- these relics from- given to us by Castine. But now the moon is fucking there. Just the top bit, just the north pole area [laughs] of the moon, so to speak. It’s been dug up from the ground. As you approached it, you learned about or encountered or saw—I guess you’d already known about it, some of you—the Iron Parade. Sorry, the Ironclad Parade. Which is a sort of—I think Keith, you described it as being sort of like the terracotta soldiers, right? Keith: Yeah, yeah. Austin: Except they’re people who’ve become these kind of iron statues as they die and then they get to kind of live in this kind of garden of—this kind of like garden cemetery that surrounds the city. But as you approached, there was an earthquake and that earthquake seems to have destroyed some of them, and it may be a recurring thing from what you overheard when you got to town and kind of got into a hotel. Any other lingering things that I’ve forgotten? I mean, I guess there were some Kaina family vibes I’ve skipped over a little bit. Sylvi: Yeah. Austin: Delani was kind of mean to Kley and also to kind of everybody—is just kind of a loudmouth. Sylvi: Yeah! Keith: Yeah. Yeah. Austin: Kley seems mysterious and weird. [laughs] But and— Keith: And also not- not acting the way that they were described as, that Caoimhe knew them when they were younger. Austin: Specifically, with regard to the relationship with their mom, which was bad and like why the fuck would they be here, taking care of their mom. Of course people change with time, Delani is getting older very clearly. This might not just be Delani’s last trip to Castine, but might be her last trip in the world, in terms of big travel. So who knows, maybe that’s enough to bring them close together. But there is a sort of begrudging [laughs] element to the way that they are interacting with their mom. I think that that’s the bulk of it. Sylvi: Did we mention that it was a letter from Bartolo Temple— Austin: Right, yes. Sylvi: That got me coming here? Austin: Yes. Sylvi: Just to be like, it’s not just that I heard about Thereus being— Austin: That’s right. Sylvi: Doing something here. It was like, it coincided with getting this letter telling me to report to Cenn. Austin: Yeah, explicitly telling you to come here. Sylvi: Yeah. Austin: Though—and warning you about the big cheese being here. [laughs] Sylvi: Yeah! Austin: If I remember. Sylvi: We did do- we did go get really into what is the most evil type of cheese. [laughs] Austin: We did do that. This is simply true. We did- we did do that. Sylvi: And I— Keith: What did we land on? Sylvi: I can’t remember. Austin: I also can’t remember, unfortunately. Keith: Roquefort? Sylvi: Sure. Austin: Probably. That sounds possible, certainly. Keith: I probably would have said that last time too, which makes it seem like I have an opinion on evil cheese [laughs] which I think is very funny. Cenn, City of Iron Chains [0:18:41] Austin: That is pretty funny. Alright, I think that that’s the bulk of it. I think we should probably just pick up in the morning. You know, y’all turned in for the night and I can bring you over to a little map of [Sylvi: gasps] Cenn, City of Iron Chains. Sylvi: Ooh! Austin: So, the description here that I would put down is it’s a city, it’s sort of near the ocean. So the ocean is kind of to the south and the east of it, kind of as like on a curve. The kind of geometric grey lines that I’ve drawn kind of at angles around the city, kind of in rows, that is of course the Ironclad Parade. I imagine that they are more densely packed than this, in terms of distance between the rows. It’s probably not a person and then like a quarter mile [laughs] or whatever between each of them. But you know, you gotta be kind of abstract here. Where you are now is the Pilgrim’s Quarter. This kind of western area that is where the big train line comes in. The Pilgrim’s Quarter is of course primarily things like hotels and restaurants, but also things like campgrounds. There are a lot of people who come here who are not staying in a hotel. So campgrounds, not too dissimilar to what you saw in Burzin. General goods shops, stuff like that. And that is, it’s worth saying, the way that the city works, it kind of descends towards the moon, which is in the center. There’s a big dig site surrounding this kind of dome shape that is the moon to the east. And then like all around that dig site, higher up, are kind of cliffs looking down and out towards the moon. So the Pilgrim’s Quarter’s to the west. You get to the Dig West, kind of the west side of the dig, which is a lot of—it’s kind of like a big marketplace where pilgrims and tourists and merchants go. It’s kind of a combination of a place you could buy souvenirs, a place you could buy, you know, quote unquote relics that have been recovered from the dig. Also things like, you could buy these candles to go burn at the shrine on the top of the moon, the temple of the summit. The eastern side of the dig site is like an active dig site. They are still digging shit up over there. It did not become overflowed with pilgrims and visitors and merchants looking to make a buck, and so it is actually kind of closed off technically to visitors. You have to go around there. The moon itself takes up the most of the ground at this point, as you can see. And I think it’s actually pretty sparse. It’s a little like walking on like a—it gets pretty hot. [laughs] It’s like walking on metal, because it is walking on metal. And I think that there are like a handful of religious buildings and administrative buildings and stuff there, but it’s mostly a kind of big space. And Castine will occasionally like make things on it out of, not just liquid metal, but metal will turn into other—you know, the metal will turn into solid shapes. There will be fountains one day, or there will be weird architecture, or you know, for a week- one week there was like a racing- like a bike track. Presumably he talked to someone about bikes and was like, “I’m way into bikes right now.” Sylvi: [laughs] Austin: His whimsy, or his—not his whimsy. He’s not a very whimsical guy, but he’s- he follows his whims sort of, in that way. Real like, brief but deep special interest type dude. To the north is Groundbreak which is where the dig site first started. And it’s again a cliff face looking down into the dig site and then out onto the moon, and Groundbreak is where the sort of de facto administrative offices actually are for the whole town, except they kind of lost in status since a hundred years ago or so. Or we know, whenever the Elevana League adopted the Ennead as their de facto gods—or their de jure gods, their legal gods—and put aside the old ones. Once the moon emerged, it’s kind of like, yeah god is here. The mayor doesn’t matter so much. [laughs] Sylvi: [snorts] Austin: And that’s not because Castine is like, a particularly political type dude, but I would say that his clerics are. His church, or you know the people who he has access to, have liked the way that they have gained in power. To the south of all that is Sutcliffe Street, which is kind of an industrial blacksmiths and other stuff like that. And then to the east there are some docks, there’s Breeze Boulevard which is kind of like a nice residential district, and there’s Seawalk. That’s a beach, nice little beach. So that’s the kind of layout of this place in general. This is a town, it’s very easy for you to go buy IP if you want. In general, I’d say between Digsite West and Sutcliffe Street you can buy any of the basic goods stuff in the shop, or in the book. You know if you look at your equipment list, anything under armor, anything under weapons, all that basic stuff is there. And of course if you dig around a little bit you might be able to find some special types of stuff to buy here, if that’s something you’re looking for. You can even tell me what you’re looking for and we can see if we can find something for you. And yeah, you know, Caoimhe, that the Hexcloak HQ would be up in Groundbreak, the kind of district where the old mayor’s office is. You know, that’s kind of where the city’s most important—or I guess oldest, most civil administration type stuff is still. And– Keith: I love when an administration is civil. Austin: Yeah, don’t you just love it when an administration is civil? I’m gonna just add little notes next to each of these so it’s easy to remember what is where. Digsite West, I’m gonna say marketplace. Pilgrim’s Quarter, you know that kind of what it is. This is like industrial, Sutcliffe. Breeze Boulevard is residential. I misspelled residential. Sylvi: It happens. Austin: Yep. Digsite East is a dig site. [laughs] And— Sylvi: That one’s easy. Austin: That’s easy. And Seawalk is a beach. Boom, easy. Keith: Who is the person that you said had uh, was it brief but deep interests? What was that? Austin: Castine, Castine the— Keith: Castine, okay. Austin: God of Iron and the god of physical, basically. Keith: Yeah. Austin: Who I have to say, cause I’m sure there are people asking themselves, shouldn’t this be a god of flesh? And that’s Sangfielle. Listen to our season Sangfielle. Sylvi: Yeah, we all know this. Austin: Here in our Fabula season, I think it is- it is a—where we are being led by aesthetic often. The symbol in this game for physical damage is a sword, right? And so it’s like, oh it’s the iron god. But not the earth god, that’s different. And in fact, as I talked about, Castine can only—you know, the moon itself is pure metal. There’s nothing- there is no- there are no grains of soil mixed in there, there is not any type of rock. That’s someone else—that is a different god’s purview. You know? So what is your game plan here? What do y’all want to get up to? What is the first order of business as you awaken? Janine: Quick question. Austin: Yes! Janine: What’s the weather like? Austin: I think it is a sort of salty breeze. You know, this is an eastern—you’re on the east coast of the continent. You are right up against the beach, basically. Up against the cliffs and stuff. I think it’s like Maine-style beaches generally, but there is one nice beach which is Seawalk. The rest of it is kind of high cliffs, rocky. So along with that you might imagine that kind of salty air, heavy breezes. Maybe in the afternoon it gets really windy. I don’t think it’s particularly rainy here, necessarily. No more than—you know, it’s average amounts of seaside rain, but it’s not like, oh we’re constant—we’re not Florida type beat. Although if I’m looking at—if this map was like our map, we are kind of tropical. We are kind of at the equator. So maybe it is, maybe we get all the way to Florida-style rain, but I don’t know. That’s kind of bad if you’re—I guess maybe it isn’t bad. The god of fucking iron can derust stuff, it’s not a big deal. You know? [laughs] Janine: Yeah. Austin: No, I think I’ll go with my first thing. Janine: No? Sylvi: [laughs] Austin: I think it’s that salty air. I’m sticking with, yeah, not very rainy here. We have too many other explicitly rainy places. Keith: I’ll say this, if you’re trying to get rid of rust, salt air is not the way to do it. Austin: No, totally. Yeah, it’s already—they’re already contesting with that, you know? Janine: Mm. Austin: Were you hoping for a rainy day? Janine: No. Austin: Just curious. Janine: I was hoping for nice beach weather. Austin: Yeah, I think that that’s probably right. I think you could— Janine: Okay. [laughs] Austin: You know, there’s a reason why there’s a big beach here. But I do think it gets a little blustery. I do think it gets that sort of like mid-afternoon wind. Janine: I think, after resting, Brontë is discretely preparing a beach bag. Austin: [snorts] Great. Keith: Which you had. Janine: I will leave room there to be stopped if someone else has other plans, [laughs] but. Austin: Mhm. [pause] It seems like no. Keith: Well I filled up— Austin: Go ahead. Sylvi: Well— Keith: Game, like stat sheet wise, I filled up on IP, I’m full up on health. I don’t have—I don’t know anyone in the town. [Austin: Yeah.] So I’m content to follow leads. Austin: Is that true? Keith: Well— Austin: Is there a chance you would know somebody here? You’re an old scholar, you know. Keith: I think that we said I didn’t [Austin: Okay.] know anyone last time. Or at least—cause I didn’t know about Castine. Austin: That’s true. And if you knew someone- if you knew someone here, you probably would know about Castine. That seems likely. Keith: Yeah. Austin: Yeah. Sylvi: I got a question. Austin: Yeah. Sylvi: Did the letter I got like point me to any specific place in the city at all? Would there be a— Austin: Like I said, the Hexcloaks have an office in Groundbreak. Sylvi: I just wasn’t sure if it would be directing me there, because there was also the, keep an eye out for the evil cheese, you know. Austin: Well, I think that the keep an eye out was more of a, heads up, you might—you know, [Sylvi: Okay.] understand what you’re walking into, not avoid it. You know? Because if that’s where it’s going, that’s where it’s going. You know what I mean? You have to go report in, effectively, at the office. And heads up, you might bump into the guy who sucks who’s there. Keith: The evil cheese. Austin: The evil cheese. Sylvi: Fair enough. That’s just everyday life, [Austin: Yeah.] you might just bump into the guy who sucks. Austin: You just fucking might, you know? Sylvi: You gotta deal. Austin: Mhm. [laughs] Sylvi: Alright. I think that’s what I’m gonna end up doing then. Austin: And you’re not like, hey and we should all do that together. You’re gonna go by yourself? As— Sylvi: The- well the, I actually might be like, hey I should probably go do this myself, [Austin: Yeah.] because the—Antistrophe, I was sent to like arrest or kill you. [laughs] Keith: Yes, I am supposed to be arrested or dead. Janine: [laughs] Austin: Yeah, uh huh. Keith: I think arrested. Janine: You wanna come to the beach? Keith: I’m comfortable being arrested. I’ll go to the beach. Hexcloak Offices [0:29:58] Austin: Yeah! Alright. Let’s start with Caoimhe and then we’ll go to the beach. Sylvi: Alright. Austin: Caoimhe, you head out, cutting up north. Do you go through the marketplace, the kind of Dig West? Or are you going up and around the Pilgrim’s Quarter? Sylvi: Oh, I wanna go through the marketplace. Austin: Yeah. Sylvi: This isn’t like my first time being in Cenn. [Austin: Yeah.] We’ve established that I am like a traveling Hexcloak, a Justiciar. [Austin: Yeah.] It seems reasonable that I’ve been through here and kind of enjoy— Austin: Yeah, the— Sylvi: I see Caoimhe being the type who enjoys the very like hustley-bustley parts of cities. Austin: And this is that part. You know, and like there are parts of it that are- there are parts of it that are so touristy that’s it’s- it’s so funny to see it bumping up against stuff that’s so—you know there are people here who are like, I am going to go see one of the Ennead. Like, this is so serious. And then there’s like someone selling [Sylvi: Mhm.] the equivalent of like a little—I mean literally, a little statue of—there’s like little statue of Castine, devotional, and there’s little statue of Castine, action figure. You know? There’s like— Janine: Ohh! Sylvi: [laughs] Austin: And they’re next to each other. They’re on the same like block, you know? The people who are here as devoted pilgrims are joined by people who are here as tourists. Capital T tourists. And then there are also people here who are like, I wonder if they ever- I wonder if they dug up some sort of ancient relic and I could get a deal on it and go flip it somewhere else. You know? And then- and then, you know, it’s just a marketplace. So there’s like the smells of people making—I actually think one of the big things here is like open air kind of barbeque in the kind of Korean barbeque style of like— Sylvi: Oh fuck yeah. Austin: There are little metal- there are little metal kind of surfaces that look like the moon, that look like the top of the moon, that people are laying out little cuts of meat on, and veggies and stuff, to barbeque. So there’s a lot of that, the smell of walking through that is in the air. It smells great. And probably a lot of like, you know, meat on stick type food here too. The stick is of course, it’s a hot metal rod and there’s a sort of game of don’t burn your tongue on it. You know, can you eat the meat without burning yourself? Janine: [suspiciously] Mmm. Sylvi: I am playing that game. Austin: If you’re real careful, if you’re a real Cenn- you know, Cennite, you know how to deal with that, you know? [laughs] Classic tourist maneuver to burn your tongue on the metal rod. So yeah, that’s the vibe as you head toward Groundbreak. Keith: It’s the opposite of too cold ice cream, it’s too hot meat. Austin: That’s right, too hot meat. Sylvi: [snorts] Austin: It’s really the- it’s the stick that’s too hot. The meat—that’s how it gets you. You’re like, “Oh, the meat’s not too hot, the meat’s perfect” and then you get in deeper. Janine: Wait, am I misremember- am I- I don’t remember if I’m remembering this or if I’m remembering some other shit. Was this- there’s like a thing where they cook the meat by putting it on hot metal? Like the rod is hot and that cooks it? Austin: Oh no, I am saying there’s both of those things. I’m saying there is meat that is hot—oh, are you- you’re talking about the rod being hot? Janine: Yeah, I was trying to— Austin: I don’t know what that is, no. I’m thinking of some different thing. Janine: Okay. [laughs] Austin: I don’t know. Janine: I may be thinking of something else I heard about in real life where they cook meat by a rod being hot and then the meat is on the rod. Austin: And it cooks from the inside out, you’re saying. Janine: Yeah, which seems like— Austin: Interesting. Janine: Yeah, I- it’s- you can understand why I was like, wait a minute. Austin: Yes, yes, I see. Yes. Janine: Seems dangerous, but yeah, okay. Austin: I mean it—you know. Yeah, I do think that it’s- this is a little dangerous, but— Janine: There’s degrees of danger. Austin: There are—exactly. I almost wanna characterize this a little bit, Caoimhe, as you’ve gone down into the marketplace and then you’re gonna climb back up to Groundbreak. You know, cause [Sylvi: Mhm.] if you think about it like a quarry, it’s like that style of—cause it’s an old dig site. People were digging here for a long long long time. And occasionally things were- people were finding shit, you know? And eventually the moon got pulled up out. So the other thing is above you, there are old cranes and pulley systems and stuff. And on this side of the moon, it is- they are, you know, not active. Right? The chains have all been raised or removed, but the cranes themselves are so infrastructurally part of the environment that they’ve remained. On the other side, you can still see the chains lifting and digging and pulling and stuff like that. You probably- you literally cannot see it from down in the marketplace, but when you climb up to Groundbreak, you can kind of look out east, southeast, and see as the digging continues on that side. And you know, there’s big rumors that one day soon in a year or two they’re gonna have to swap over and make sure they’re digging out from the west side too, but that’s not gonna fucking happen. People like the marketplace, it’s become a key part of the city, you know? Eventually you make your way up from- from there and to Groundbreak, this administrative district, and you find the Hexcloak—you find kind of the Elevana League headquarters, where the Hexcloak have offices. And you know, I think we talked about the symbol of the Elevana League, and so that’s hanging from a banner, and inside, I think you see something that feels—I guess I don’t know how it feels, but it is a familiar sight. Which is like, the Elevana League exists to connect these very disparate cultures of the Elven city-states, but they- but that doesn’t mean that they are extremely well—the administrative part of it is not extremely well funded, or extremely well supported. The Hexcloaks are. [laughs] And so on this ground level where you’re like coming into the reception office, you may as well be walking into the doctor’s office. It is not especially well appointed here or anything, you know? Sylvi: Oh man. Austin: And I do think there’s like a receptionist who looks up to you, who says like, (as Receptionist): How may I help you? Wasn’t expecting any visitors today. Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Oh, I’m just coming to report in. Austin: Notices your cloak and says, (as Receptionist): O- oh! Uh, uh, of course. Right away, ma’am, the stairs are up to the left. Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Thank you. Keith: Interesting tactic, check for the cloak second. Austin: Not great at his job. [Keith: laughs] You know? Sylvi: You know what— Austin: And let me prove it to you. You get about halfway up the stairs and he goes, (as Receptionist): Oh, uh, ma’am, miss! Uh, m- uh— Austin: Salutes, you know. Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Either is fine. Sylvi: [laughs] Austin: What’s the- what’s the Hexcloak- what’s the Elevana League salute look like? [laughs] Sylvi: Oh shit! Austin: Sorry to spring this on you. Sylvi: I haven’t thought of any salutes! Austin: [laughs] Sylvi: [pause] Oh my brain is so fried that I’m like- I’m like— Austin: It’s fine, that’s fine, we’ll come back. Sylvi: It’s gotta be something to do with the number nine. Austin: Ohh. Sylvi: How do you do a nine finger salute? Austin: How do you do a nine finger—that’s a lot of fingers. Sylvi: It’s a lot of fingers! Austin: I’m like crossing my hands, I’m like— Sylvi: Yeah, I’m doing a lot of poses right now. Keith: You could make it nine with your hands. You could like, sign a nine. Austin: That- like, if you close— Janine: Okay, but would it— Austin: Uh huh, tell me. Janine: What if—okay, so you have one hand and you hold it flat horizontally with your five fingers spread, right? Austin: Uh huh. Keith: Okay. Janine: And the other hand you tuck your thumb in— Austin: And then— Janine: And then you put your hand behind the other hand like grass growing up or some shit. Austin: Oh, I was just gonna put it over my heart. You know what I mean? But that’s— Janine: Oh, I mean that works too. Austin: Yeah, uh huh. Yeah, I like a two- a two handed salute. Goes like, boom. Janine: Or it could be like a shadow puppet, where there’s a light on the wall it looks like an elephant. Sylvi: That is kind of where my brain was going. Austin: Oh wow. It looks— Janine: Or a dog. Sylvi: Doing little like bird wings with it. [laughs] Austin: Great, perfect. So yeah, as you’re heading up, they go, (as Receptionist): [stammering] Ah, wai- uh, um! Austin: And call back to you, and say, (as Receptionist): Actually, um. [sighs] Ever since the Commander arrived, they’ve actually moved all of the Hexcloak…functions? To the mayor’s office. It’s empty up there. Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Oh! Austin (as Receptionist): Like I said, I wasn’t expecting anybody today. It’s been quiet since it happened… Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Yeah, no. No problem. Um— Sylvi: This is the pause where Sylvi’s trying to think of a convincing lie to go- still go upstairs and poke around. Austin: Yeah. Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Well I just need to pick something up upstairs. I was told by one of my commanding officers it was, you know, it would be waiting for me there. Do you mind if I still just go check, to be sure? Cause it’d be- it’d be a real bad look for me if I showed up empty handed. Austin: This is a pretty easy lie, I think, to tell, but I still think you need to tell it, so [Sylvi: Cool.] give me insight plus willpower, persuade on the sheets. I think it’s a 7 difficulty. Look at that, 13. Sylvi: That is a 13. Austin (as Receptionist): Of course, of course! Right, yeah, go right up and if you need anything, just holler! Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Thanks very much, will do. Sylvi: Does the corny ass salute and heads up. Austin: [laughs] Uh huh. Yeah, you head up. You know, I think the—you get up to the top and there’s sort of a, not a balcony, but a second level that—I guess it is kind of a balcony cause it looks down on the first level a little bit. And then it’s a row- it’s a hallway to a number of, you know, doorways for the side offices. Sylvi: I mean, I’m gonna- I wanna start poking through these offices, see if there’s anything—I’m trying to find the reason why the Commander of the Hexcloaks is here, you know? Austin: Totally. Yeah, give me a um. God, I guess partly this is—are you- are you…these rooms are locked right now. [Sylvi: Yeah.] They’re all closed up, but I don’t want to have to like, make you run through each door and each thing, so let’s make it sort of a- like a dex, insight roll that [Sylvi: Okay.] combines your- your ability to break into these rooms. I’m guessing you’re trying to like—how are you trying to get into these rooms? I guess I’ll start there. Sylvi: Oh yeah, I would be picking these locks. Austin: That’s what I assumed. So yeah, let’s do— Sylvi: Yeah, I’m not doing anything where they can be like, “Someone broke this door down” [Austin: Totally.] or, “This is off its hinges somehow.” Austin: Yeah, so then yeah let’s do dex plus insight here. And this is open ended in the sense that how much you get is based on if you hit a 7, a 10, a 13, et cetera. Sylvi: Alright. Keith: Sick. Oh. Sylvi: That’s a 15. [chuckles] Austin: Whew! Keith: Oh sick! Austin: Look at this! Okay! Alright, so at the 7– Sylvi: My luck has changed! Fuck the Fleggus! Austin: Yeah! Sylvi: I learned how to roll again! Austin: You learned how to fucking roll! Yeah, at a 15—your question was like, why are you being sent for and why is the Commander here, right? Sylvi: Yes. Austin: Okay. Commander is here because of the recent earthquakes and was sent here to investigate what’s going on. That’s your simple 7. [Sylvi: Okay.] The 10 is the- those earthquakes, there is suspicion that the earthquakes are tied in some way to Castine, which is part of why the Commander is here. Because if [Sylvi: Mhm.] a member of the Ennead is purposefully doing something bad, that seems risky. Those rumors come from people who have been interrogated after meeting with Castine and reporting a sort of- reporting that Castine is in a sort of downbeat feeling right now. Sylvi: [laughs] God, Castine, that’s so real! Austin: Yeah. Sylvi: I have downswings too! Austin: And so is- [laughs] so is like— Sylvi: Bipolar queen! Austin: [laughs] And so is like, oh no is Castine like—do we have to manage the emotions of this god so that he doesn’t destroy the world? You know? Because [Sylvi: Yeah.] it’s hard to imagine what else could create such a thing. Though, at a 13, you do find that there are some alternate- there have been some alternate theories that have effectively been dismissed. Someone said, well it’s the earth, so it could be a different member of the Ennead. It could be Gritt of the Earth, who is- who is, you know. The earth is quaking, it’s not an iron quake, what the fuck are you talking about. There’s also rumor that it’s some sort of giant creature, some sort of like underground, massive creature. There’s like, ancient rumors of that. In fact, someone connects the original dig site to a sort of large mole-like creature. As being like oh, it led people here to start digging. So that seems possible, but was utterly dismissed by the Hexcloaks. Keith: [suspiciously] Hmmm. Austin: And then the 15 is, you are being called in because one, you are a deniable asset. They don’t like you, they know you’ve been traveling [Sylvi: laughs] with people who they don’t like, and who are not loyal to the Elevana League, and they can use that as leverage to get you to do something. And the thing that they want you to do, you know it’s pretty laid out as like, go find infor- go interrogate Castine, effectively. Sylvi: They’re getting me to do that?! Austin: Yep. Cause if they do it, [Sylvi: Okay.] it’s a huge religious breach. If you do it, and you fuck it up, [Sylvi: Yeah.] you’re already on their shit list. They can just kill you. Sylvi: Yeah, you’re right. Austin: You know? Sylvi: That’s great. Austin: Mhm. Sylvi: I love that. Austin: Mhm. Keith: I’m gonna say that something that’s plausible, but dismissed outright by the Hexcloaks makes it seem even more plausible to me. Austin: Always. Keith: Shoutout to the big mole. Austin: Shoutouts to the big mole. Keith: Or is it a vole? Austin: It could—I don’t think it’s a—eh, it could be a vole! Sylvi: Play to find out what happens, guys. Austin: If it’s big, it doesn’t—it could be anything. Keith: Right. Austin: Just cause a mole is bigger than a vole doesn’t mean that it—you know? Keith: Right, because it’s already bigger than both of those would be. Austin: That’s right. And at that point, the lid is off on how big it could be. Okay, beach. Y’all make your way— Sylvi: What’d you call me? Austin: Huh? Sylvi: [laughs] I said what’d you call me. Sorry, bad joke. Austin: [laughs] Boo. Janine: [laughs] Beach Day [0:44:35] Austin: Brontë and Antistrophe. You know, it’s—maybe we come back to you on Breeze Boulevard, which is this kind of, again, higher up block looking down on the dig site, looking down on the east toward the beach. It’s a beautiful sunny day, the heat is really pouring down. Are you both in beach clothes? Are you- what are you wearing? Sylvi: Please. Keith: No, I’m wearing my full clothes. I’m fully clothed. Austin: When you say full clothes, [Janine: snorts] do you mean your armor? Heavy plate armor? Keith: Yeah, I’m wearing my armor. Austin: Okay. Keith: Yeah. Austin: Brontë, what are you wearing? Janine: I’m wearing sort of like, you know- you know just like a beach coverup, how it’s usually like a sort of linen, sort of semi-sheers, sort of breezy. Sometimes it’ll be like a- like a wrap [Austin: Mhm.] type coat thing, sometimes it’ll be like a dress type thing, sometimes it’ll be like pants. I’m thinking like if you could have an entire outfit that was coverups. Austin: Interesting. Janine: So it’s like a— Keith: Even the hat? Janine: Well, no. Probably just like a normal hat. So like a billowy sort of longer top—or no, I think the top is actually—[laughs] Okay. So there’s like a light, sort of cropped top and there’s a billowy, longer top that’s open in the front over that, and then— Sylvi: [quietly] Oh my god. Janine: There is, I think some like longish shorts, but then over that, there are those pants that are split up to the thigh? Austin: Mhm. Janine: So it’s like a whole- it’s like a whole— Keith: So two shirts, two pants. Janine: Yeah, but like they’re all light. Keith: Right. Janine: You know, they’re all breathable. Sylvi: No problem. Two shirts, two pants, no problem. Keith: [laughs] Janine: It’s a windy- it’s a windy beach with not— Sylvi: That should be the t-shirt that Antistrophe’s wearing! Austin: [chuckles] Janine: With a non-consistently hot temperature—like it could get cool, it could get windy. Austin: Sure, yeah. Janine: So it’s an outfit built to look cool in the wind, but also maybe- maybe you pin it up and you splash around a little bit if you want to. Austin: That makes perfect sense. I have an important question for you, Antistrophe, which I’ve not mentioned. We should have mentioned this on the train, [Keith: Right.] is your little lantern buddy with you? Riant? Riant [Ri-ant], Riant [Ree-aunt]? Keith: Yeah, Riant, [Ri-ant] yeah. Austin: Floating around with you? Keith: Yeah, he’s floating around. Austin: I think you’re getting some- you’re getting some weird looks. You know? I think it’s, you know— Keith: Because of the lantern or because of the full armor? Austin: Both! I think and— Sylvi: Yes. Austin: I think that particular combination also. You know, people are used to seeing wizards and warlocks with familiars, [Keith: Right.] but like big plate metal, two shields wielding badass and then like cute little lantern familiar [Keith: Yeah.] hovering behind you is rare. Keith: I- you know, maybe Antistrophe’s sort of get up says badass, but I don’t think that Antistrophe does. Austin: You don’t think that like Antistrophe’s face carries that sort of energy. Keith: No, Antistrophe looks like a nerd. [Austin: Mmm.] Looks like a kind of shaggy nerd. Austin: Okay, that makes sense. Sylvi: Zoinks. Austin: That makes- that makes sense. Alright, well. Yeah, you’re getting some looks— Keith: Cause he was a wizard, he was a wizard teacher. Austin: Yeah, but like you know, imagine if Gan—okay, it’s not even hard to imagine because people draw this shit all the time. Imagine Gandalf, but he’s wearing plate metal. Keith: Right. Gainsdalf. Austin: Gain— [laughs] Imagine Gainsdalf. Sylvi: [laughs] [distantly] Noo! Austin: You know, people would be like, woah sick. [laughs] So, [Keith: Yeah.] you know. Sylvi: Gandalf cast creatine. Keith: Antistrophe doesn’t give, woah sick. Austin: Okay, I understand. I will- I do understand this now. Well, the- Riant I think is very excited about all this. Riant has not seen anything like this before. Is sort of like when a dog gets around other dogs, or like gets to a park for the first time in a long time and is just like—what type of sound does this little lantern guy make? Is it like a— Keith: Uhh, I think it’s a swoosh. Austin (as Riant): Swoosh! Keith: Like you have a stick and you swoosh it. Austin: Oh you’re talking about— (as Riant): [swooshing sounds] Phew, hew, shew. Keith: Yeah. Sylvi: That was closer to: sheesh! Austin: [chuckling] It was. Janine: [laughs] Austin (as Riant): [swooshing sounds] Phew, chew. wewhoo. Keith (as Riant): [swooshing sounds] Whew. Whewhew. Austin: And it’s very excited [cross] little guy at this point. Sylvi: [cross] I love him… Austin: And is like, wants to go down to the beach. Wants to go down to the beach. Keith: Riant, Riant [Rye-ant]. Austin: Riant [Rye-ant]. You— Keith: I got it, I got there. Riant. Austin: Yeah. Not Riant [Ree-aunt], Riant [Rye-ant]. Keith: Riant. Austin: Like Ryan with a T. Sylvi: With a T. Austin: Yeah. Keith: Like Ryan with a T. Austin: Yeah. [“Beachminton” by Jack de Quidt begins to play] [cont.] On the beach, down below, you can see that people are mostly gathered around—I mean, I think people mostly are like swimming and sunning and tanning and stuff—but there is an ongoing tournament of some sort of game. There is a big net and there are two- it’s two v. two. It looks a little like volleyball, but people do have racquets and you watch the crew kind of go back and forth with a- the ball a few times, and then someone tries to spike the ball down and as they hit it, it breaks into sand. And they go, (as Sports Competitor): Fuck. Austin: You know, or whatever, (as Sports Competitor): Grrr. Austin: [laughs] Whatever, (as Sports Competitor): Slag! Janine: Are you describing magic pickleball? Austin: No, I was describing Beachminton, thank you very much. Janine: Ohh [laughs] okay, okay. Austin: Which is badminton, except the shuttlecock is a ball made of sand. And if you hit it— Keith: So you have to be careful. Austin: If you hit it too hard, you will break it and that means you lose. You can also win traditionally by smashing it into the ground on the other side, you know or they- you can drop it. But that seems to be the game of the day here. And otherwise it’s sunny, beautiful day. [“Beachminton” by Jack de Quidt finishes playing] Keith: Is that an official thing? Game of the day? Austin: The- no. Game of the day in the, um- in the game of, you know. Keith: Game du jour. Austin: Game du jour, exactly, exactly right. Yeah. Janine: Someone picked it up earlier in the morning. Keith: Which it could be literally, like a soup du jour does change every day. Austin: This is true, this does happen. That does happen. Keith: This is a cultural du jour, not a daily. Austin: This is a cultural du jour, yeah. Keith: Yeah. Austin: Exactly. What are y’all up to on the beach? Keith: I think I’m- I think I’m just sort of lumbering awkwardly along. Austin: [laughs] Damn. I feel you. Janine: I wanna play sports. I wanna play Beachminton or whatever the fuck you called it. [laughs] Austin: Yeah, Beachminton. Yeah. Keith: Yeah, Beachminton. Austin: Beach…minton. Beachminton. Y’all wanna team up and play together? Keith: Yeah, I’ll play Beachminton. Janine: Do you have to wear the armor when you do it? Austin: This is what I’m asking. Keith: I didn’t- I mean—should I not? Austin: I don’t know, that low initiative score… [sighs] Keith: Is it— Janine: You’re gonna be heavy. Keith: It’s good training. Austin: [laughs] Ohh. Sylvi: You want sand in your armor? For- just like, for good? Cause that’s what’s gonna happen. Keith: Okay. Austin: Antistrophe apparently does not have a beach outfit. The gamers are writing in right now to complain about it. Janine: Wow, wow, wow. Austin: Or it’s an opportunity— Janine: [angry gamer voice] I bought the beach DLC [Austin: Yeah.] and Antistrophe’s armor was just the same as the normal one— Austin: [laughing] That’s right. Janine: [angry gamer voice] But they recolored it a little more gold. Sylvi: [angry gamer voice] They gave him a beach hat and that’s it. Keith: [laughs] Austin: [sighs] God. Janine: [angry gamer voice] My uncle said it was [Keith: Okay—] gonna be a bikini. Austin: Mhm! Sylvi: [laughs] Keith: Is my armor actually—it is actively giving me a lower initiative, is that gonna hurt me in Beachminton? Austin: You will have to roll for initiative, certainly. Keith: Okay, that’s fair. Sylvi: Love that. Austin: Mhm! Keith: I can take off some of the plate. Austin: Yeah. What are you- what’re you wearing underneath there? Keith: Pants. Austin: Pants. Are you— Janine: [chuckles] Austin: Wow, you’re wearing wholeass pants underneath the plate—I guess so, that makes sense, that’s- you know. Janine: Most pants are wholeass pants. Austin: [laughs] Well. Keith: You’re not putting bare metal against your skin. Austin: Yeah, totally. That’s the thing, yeah. Keith: You take off your- you take off your greaves and it’d just be pools of sweat. Austin: Eugh. Yeah, good point, good point. Keith: It’d be horrible. Austin: Good point. Okay, so. I think that the way that this works is a little different than normal. Janine: One person thinks of a type of ball. Austin: [laughs] That’s right. Yeah. So you are going up against a pair of other folks. I’m gonna probably end up using a different NPC’s stat sheet for this, just cause it’s easier to hit the roll buttons on there. I think you’re going up against- one of them’s definitely—I guess what’s our Biggs and Wedge? What’s our equivalent, recurring goof-ass side character names? What is the— Janine: Do we have them? Austin: Not yet. Keith: Smalls and Cone. Janine: Ohh, we’re making them now. Austin: There we go. [laughing] Smalls and Cone are here. Janine: Cone? Keith: [laughs] Sylvi: I love that, honestly. Austin: Yeah. Janine: This is- that’s just- mmm. Sylvi: That’s a— Austin: What’s wrong? What’s up? Sylvi: Less popular— [laughs] Janine: You can’t say that Smalls and Cone are our Biggs and Wedge. That’s not— [laughs] Austin: You’re right, you’re right, you’re right. I did stop Art from having [cross] a character named Sid during our character creation. Janine: [cross] That’s almost litigious. Keith: No, Smalls is not even related to that— Austin: It’s like Brenden Smalls. Keith: It’s named after The Sandlot. Austin: Oh, I see, yeah. Smalls, get over here Smalls. I see, yeah. Janine: Mm, mhm, mhm, mhm. Austin: But C— Keith: Because we’re at the beach. Austin: Cone is very fun. We could get- we could get away with Cone. Cone and Wedge are not that close. Janine: I like Cone for someone who you meet on a beach because it makes you think of ice cream. Austin: Of ice cream, yeah. What’s another- what’s another beachy thing? Ice cream— Janine: Hot dog. Austin: Hot dog… dog, Dog and Cone? That’s not great. Janine: Fries. Sylvi: Dog and Cone?! Janine: Uhhh. Austin: [laughing] Dog and Cone. Sylvi: Nah, don’t go up against team neutered. Austin: [laughs] Um, oh yeah I don’t really…yeah, hot dogs, sand. Janine: A lot of the stuff I keep thinking— Austin: Salt. Keith: Shell. Janine: I keep thinking like, oh buns, cakes, but that all just means butt. Austin: Well. Cakes and Cone. Sylvi: Cakes and Cone is pretty good though! Janine: Hmm, mmm. Austin: Cakes and Cone, Cakes and Cones? Keith: The Dessert Brothers. Austin: Cake and Cone? Yeah! The Dessert Brothers are here. Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Dessert Brothers. [laughs] Sylvi and Keith: [laugh] Janine: Ehh. Austin: Okay, so. The way this game works is you are up against a pair. You’re up against Johnny Cakes and Jimmy Cone, who are you know, I think— Keith: Aces on the beach! Austin: They’re aces on the be—well, they think they’re aces on the beach. You know, I think that they are each- they are one another’s biggest fan. They constantly say- they’re- apparently they’re the Dessert Brothers, but they do have different last names. [Keith: laughs] Maybe they’re half brothers, maybe they have the same mom and different dads. Sylvi: A Wario, Waluigi situation. Austin: That is exactly a Wario, Waluigi situation. Sylvi: Yeah. Keith: [laughs] Janine: You don’t have to be related to be brothers. Austin: This is true. Keith: No, but it helps. Sylvi: Damn, so true. I’ve watched anime. Austin: Yeah, uh huh. Janine: [laughs] Austin: I’ve read Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Sylvi: Yeah, I’ve read [laughing] fanfiction. Janine: Also maybe one of them got married and changed their last name. Like, you know, it happens. Austin: Oh, it’s totally possible, yeah. Keith: Which one- which one of these two is the wife guy who took his wife’s last name? Sylvi: Jimmy- Jimmy— Austin: [laughs] Sylvi: I like Jimmy Cakes being the wife guy. Keith: [laughs] Austin: Wait, Jimmy Cone. Sylvi: Johnny Cakes, sorry. Austin: Johnny Cakes, yeah. Johnny Cakes. Was Johnny Cone. Keith: Well he would have been Jimmy Cakes, until he took his wife’s name. Sylvi: Yeah, I guess that’s the better question, were they born the Cakes brothers— Austin: The Cakes brothers. Sylvi: Or were they born the Cone brothers? Austin: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Cakes brothers. I think it’s [laughs] Cake and [Sylvi: Okay.] they became the Dessert Brothers after. And the two families— Janine: Yeah, it has to be the Cakes brothers because if it’s the Cone brothers we’re setting ourselves up for a whole bunch of other [Keith: laughs] jokes down the line. [laughs] Sylvi: Wait, that’s pretty— Keith: That’s a different lawsuit. Austin: Yeah. [laughs] Alright. Sylvi: They do look like the Coen brothers though. Austin: Yeah. (as Johnny Cakes): Look at these two schmucks, Jimmy Cone. (as Jimmy Cone): Well, Johnny Cakes, I think we have a little bit of fun on our hands. Austin: They say each other’s full names all the time. Sylvi: [chuckles] That’s fucked up. Austin: [laughing] It’s really fucked up! Sylvi: These two are perverts. Austin: [laughs] Janine: They’re kind of giving Da Vinki. Keith: Yeah, these are- this is- this is Property Brothers [cross] level of perversion here. Austin: [cross] They are a little Da Vinki! Sylvi: Ohh! Austin: Alright. Let me explain how the game works. Sylvi: [quietly] The Vörös twins… Austin: [laughs] When you- if you win the initiative roll, you get to serve, which means you get to hit first. When you hit, when you roll rather, the- whatever you hit, whatever you roll, becomes the difficulty of what the other side has to roll. You can roll one of three types of hits. Dex plus dex, a dextrous hit. Dex plus might, a normal hit. Or might plus might, a heavy hit. The dex plus dex is actually harder, the normal gets a plus one on the roll and the might plus might gets a plus two on the roll. So you’re- it’s- the heavy hit is easier to do. However, each of those does damage. It’s high roll plus four for the dextrous hit, six for the normal hit, and eight for the heavy hit. The ball has HP. The ball has a randomly- a random number of HP that I will determine based on rolling a d100 privately. So it is up to— Janine: Don’t wake daddy style. Austin: Say that again? Yeah, don’t wake daddy style! Exactly. Janine: [laughs] I said don’t wake daddy style. Keith: Yeah. Austin: Exactly. Exactly that. Sylvi: I did not hear the don’t wake, I was like huh?? [All laugh] Keith: This is classic daddy style. Austin: [laughs] Exactly! Uh huh. Keith: [laughs] Secret roll, [cross] secretly rolling things: daddy style. Sylvi: [cross] Daddy style. Austin: Yeah, daddy style. Janine: You ever play Beachminton daddy style before? Austin and Keith: [laugh] Sylvi: I can’t say I have! Keith: Johnny Cakes has! Austin: That’s right! Janine: [laughs] Seaside Sport [0:58:25] Austin: Roll initiative…and then, I’m sorry, I’m like— Keith: Without my armor, my initiative is zero. Austin: Okay, great. So I think the two of you should decide who is your leader on the initiative front. The other one should roll their support roll by rolling their initiative roll and that’ll- if you get above a 10, you add that to the leader’s initiative. Brontë, what’s your initiative roll? Is it also— Janine: I don’t remember. Where is that? Oh, it’s zero. Austin: It is… it’s plus zero, okay. So then yeah, pick one of you to be the lead. Janine: Here, I’ll do it. Keith: So then my roll, I’m just gonna do my minus three with a mod of three. Austin: What is your roll? Keith: Which is 6. Austin: So there’s no bonus there. And Brontë what did you get? Janine: I got 8. Austin: Okay, that is lower than, I believe, Jimmy’s, of a 9. Janine: Damn. Austin: Jimmy Cone, I think the Waluigi of this pairing, tosses the sand ball up and is gonna hit just a- I think is just gonna hit a dextrous hit. So that’s his dex plus dex. I’m just gonna hit the sneak button. Actually, no I’m not. We have a custom roll here, I’m gonna type in Dextrous Hit. And then roll it—alright, that is a 13 and the high number there is 10! It’s 10, so that does ten damage to the sand ball and that means—oh sorry, we should- I should say right here, it’s first to seven points, you have to win by two. So first to seven, so— Keith: Okay. Austin: And that—if you break the ball that’s a point for the other side. Does that make sense? Keith: Got it, yeah. Janine: Mhm. Austin: And the ball is being created by a referee. By a judge, who’s sitting up on a tennis thing, but is like some sort of sand mage. Some sort of you know earth mage and is creating this. You know? Alright, so 13 is this initial hit. Who is gonna try and hit that 13 back? The difficulty is 13, because that’s what Jimmy hit. I think tosses it up, and then hits it with a sort of floaty, sandball hit where it’s hovering in the air for a little bit. It’s actually heavier, did roll a 10. You know, maxed out one of those dice so [Janine: Yeah.] did a lot of damage to it, but because it was a dextrous hit there was no bonus on the roll. Sorry, I said 10, it’s 14. Cause dextrous hits do HR plus four damage to it. Keith: Plus—right. Austin: So minus 14. Keith: I’ll hit, I’ll— Austin: But it seems to be still there. Keith: I’ll hit mine here. And then what is—HR plus what for a mighty hit? Austin: A mighty hit is HR plus eight, and it’s might plus might plus two. You get a plus two on this cause it is might plus might. Keith: Okay. Might plus might, how do I even do this? Might plus might, plus two, plus eight. Austin: We could just—well no, the eight is damage. The plus eight is the HR plus eight. Keith: Oh okay, got it. So the mod is two. Austin: That’s right. Keith: Got it. 10. Austin: That’s a 7 plus one—ooh. So it just lands. You just take a big swing at it and you miss. They get a point. Keith: I miss. Janine: Mmm. Austin: Point one. Keith: And it didn’t even have my custom name in there which was Wallop. Janine: Damn. Austin: Oh that’s good. Point one, the Dessert Brothers. Sylvi: [laughs] Austin: Alright, you serve. Who’s up? Keith: Take a bite out of that one! Austin: We’re gonna keep this order where they- they—or we just swap order because they’ve gone so now it’s your start. Either one of you can serve. Janine: I’ll serve. Austin: Yes, and also to be clear, you did not hit the ball so the ball doesn’t take any extra damage here. You know. Janine: Oh is this the same ball? Austin: Same ball, yeah. Janine: Okay. And the serve is just the same— Austin: Same set of rules, yes. Janine: Dex, dex rules, or the dextrous—okay. Austin: Do you want me to drop these somewhere else? Where they’ll stay, because we’re gonna roll them off? Janine: I’m- I’m— Austin: You’re good. You got ‘em. Janine: Maybe, yes, but I’m good for now, yeah. Austin: Okay. What’s your serve? Or yeah, what type of serve are you doing? Janine: I was gonna do dextrous one. Austin: Okay. Janine: Is there any- there’s no modifiers to this, right? Austin: Dex is- it’s just dex plus dex. No bonuses. Janine: Okay. Austin: Ooh! A 16! And that is [Keith: Wow.] 9 plus four damage which is 13. So that brings it down to the number I have, that I’m not gonna say out loud. Keith: And what was the name of your special serve, Janine? Janine: It was the Brontë Sand-Blasted Beauty: Dextrous Ball Serve. Sylvi: [laughs] Austin: Ohh, describe what it looks like please. Keith: [laughs] Janine: I think it was a—mmm, I think Brontë like jumped up and there was a sort of spiral in the air, [Austin: Mmm.] and then a swing and a hit. Austin: Love it. Alright, they are gonna try to respond. Think this is gonna be—Jimmy already went. I think this is technically—we’ve reset, but I’m still gonna cycle through. I think Johnny is gonna be up now. And Johnny is gonna swing with a heavy hit back. Heavy hit! Actually, normal hit. Normal old hit for Johnny Ca— Sylvi: He did a feint! Austin: That’s right. Janine: Mmm. Sylvi: I’m passerbys talking about the game. Austin: [gasps] Misses! Oh that was—yeah, you’re the passer— Keith: Misses? Sylvi (as Beachminton Viewer): Oh my god… Austin: Yeah, misses with a 15. Almost gets there, but your Sand-Blasted Beauty tricks him somehow. And slams- [Janine: laughs] it slams into the ground. Keith: Like a puff ball—have you seen those weird old pitches? Austin: Yeah, yeah! Recently— Keith: Got a bunch of like rosin on your hand, then when you throw the ball [Janine: Eugh.] it creates like a puff of powder. Austin: Yeah, so it makes it hard to read where it’s coming in, yeah. Keith: Mhm. Austin: Yeah, I actually just saw a Youtube short about that. [laughs] Yeah, okay. Boom, nailed it. Now— Janine: How much damage does the ball take when it hits the ground again? Austin: I don’t think it takes any, I’m just saying it’s— Janine: Oh, okay. Austin: Part of your initial damage hit. You know what I mean? Janine: Okay. Austin: That would- it would’ve— Janine: Well then how—wait, how do you get a situation like you said where the ball explodes on the ground on the other side? Austin: It’s—I guess when you’re hitting, it’s doing that, but then I’m just—I don’t want to have to reroll the d100 every new thing, but maybe we should. Maybe we should. Would you prefer that? Janine: No, I—no, no no. I mean like— Austin: I like the continuity of- of having the number slowly tick down. Cause if I make it blow up, then— Janine: Yes. No, I agree— Austin: Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Janine: But I’m saying like if it doesn’t take damage when it lands, then how do you get the scenario when it blows up when it lands, versus it blowing up when you hit? Austin: I was just talking, Janine. [laughs] I was just describing images in my brain. Sylvi: [laughs] Janine: Okay, well you were doing it while also explaining the rules of this game [laughs] so I assumed they were connected. Austin: Totally. So we could roll it that way if you want to—well you know, maybe just gets reconstituted- the judge reconstitutes it to the last form it was. The judge knows how much HP there is. Keith: Sure. Austin: Right? The way that we all know how much HP Briant has. [laughs] Janine: [laughs] Austin: Which- I know Briant is a living thing, but like in the same way that Antistrophe knows how much HP Briant has and could theoretically be like, take a potion— Janine: Do you mean Riant? Austin: Sorry, Riant has. [laughs] Briant is Riant’s brother. Janine: [laughs] Austin: How much HP Riant has. It’s like that. Reconstitutes it back to where it was. So it splashes, and the judge goes, point: Brontë. Janine: But—okay. Austin: Or point: tourists. And then reconstitutes it back to where it was. Janine: I just- I liked the image of getting that perfect balance where you hit it, and you don’t do the damage, but it gets the damage when it spikes on the other side. Austin: I get you. I just don’t want to have to roll- I don’t want you making another damage roll at this point, you know? Janine: Well sure, but you could make a rule of like, if it hits the ground and it’s like under 10 or whatever then it explodes. Austin: Sure. You know, it is- it is—I already am tracking if it’s in crisis or not, so maybe that’s what happens when it’s under crisis. Janine: Oh okay. Okay. Austin: If it hits the ground when it’s under crisis, it breaks and you get a new ball. How’s that sound? Janine: Okay, thank you. Austin: It is not in crisis yet! So you’re fine. Janine: I just want- I just want consistency with the imagery. [laughs] Austin: I understand, I get it. That’s fine. Janine: It’s good imagery, it’s fun. Austin: So no, he will not fix the ball. He’s not gonna fix the ball, it’s- it just doesn’t do enough damage to break here. Janine: This was a big debate when this sport first started. [laughs] Austin: Of course, when- yeah, when Beachminton first kicked off. Janine: Yeah. Austin: Jimmy Cone is gonna serve and is doing a heavy dextrous—not a heavy. [laughs] A dextrous serve. Doing—what is this called? It’s called Beachminton. Yeah. Doing the Slippy Slappy Overhand. Keith: Oh my god. Austin: 17. Sylvi (as Beachminton Viewer): Oh my god! Austin: With a 9, plus a— Sylvi: Multiple gasps from people watching. Austin: This is the dextrous one, so it’s only plus a 4, so that is 14, no 13, more damage which does bring it into crisis. Janine: Mmm. Keith: Oh no. We’ve just created these rules. Austin: Uh huh. Keith: And now there’s no way that [laughs] I’m going to be able to get a 17 or higher. Janine: You shouldn’t have told us it was in crisis. [laughs] Austin: No, I—no, I told you I was gonna tell you once—you can tell it’s in crisis. The sand is falling off of it, you know what I mean. Janine: Okay, okay, okay. Austin: Part of the game here is do you risk breaking it even if it’s a better roll for you? Which I think it is for Antistrophe. I think might is stronger than dex, right? Keith: Yeah, yeah. Austin: By a lot. In fact you have to roll—there’s no way your dex will—I guess you could crit. You could still crit on dex, might or dex, dex, but might, might—much stronger here. Your dex is 6, your might is 10 for the listener here. Keith: Yeah. Austin: Brontë, of course— Keith: 8. Austin: Oh my god…brutal. Keith: Not even close. Janine: Oh… Austin: Your Wallop misses, the sandball hits the ground and does do the thing Janine was advocating for, smashing into— Janine: Damn. Keith: It explodes. Austin: Yeah, uh huh. Janine: I stand by it. I think it’s cool. Austin: I think it’s- I think it’s cool. I think it’s cool. Keith: Yeah. Austin: So they are now up 2-1. 2-1, Dessert Brothers. Rolling another d100. Okay. Who served that time? They did. Keith: It’s their serve? I thought it was— Austin: It’s your serve, cause they just scored. So who’s serving? Janine: Antistrophe, you wanna serve? Keith: I’ll serve, I haven’t served yet. Austin: What type of hit are you doing? Keith: I’m going to do— Janine: I’m serving all the time, so. Sylvi: Yeah we know, you kept your armor on. Austin: Actually wait, I have to do—okay yeah, you’re good. Keith: Antistrophe is not wildly creative with the names, I don’t think. Is going to do a Mighty Serve. Austin: Okay. Keith: 19! We can use that. Austin: 19! The ball explodes on your racquet. Janine: Wow! Oh my god. Keith: [laughing] Oh my god! Janine: [laughs] Sylvi: Yeah… Austin: They get a point. I sent this to Sylvi moments before you hit enter. Sylvi: Yeah, you sure did! Austin: It’s a 10, it had 10 HP. [laughs] Sylvi: Yeah. Austin: You over-hit it and it smashes into dust on the edge of your racquet. Dessert Brothers go up 3-1. (as Jimmy Cone): They should call us Desert Brothers the way we’re crushing this sand, hey Johnny Cakes? Janine (as Brontë): That’s the opposite. We’re the—okay. Austin: [snorts] Janine (as Brontë): Well I thought that was neat either way, Antistrophe. Janine: [laughs] (as Brontë): I thought that looked cool. Austin: Okay. [laughs] Keith (as Antistrophe): [dejectedly] Thanks… Austin: Okay! [laughing] It’s still your serve, cause you lost that one. Keith: Alright. Well let me try again, let me try again. Austin: Yeah. Yeah! Keith: Let me try again. I got it. Austin: It would've been a great serve otherwise. A 19, are you kidding me? Keith: Do we have a new ball? Austin: Yeah, new ball formed. Yeah, (as Beachminton Judge): Ball: visitors. Austin: Alright! Keith: Not So Mighty Serve—13. Austin: Eh, 13. 13’s alright. 13 isn’t bad. I will again—one second. I will send the number to Sylvi, so that I can be— Sylvi: I’m the scorekeeper now. I’m the— Austin: You are the scorekeeper. Janine: [laughs] Sylvi: Guy watching this happen. Austin: Yes, yes. You’re up on the thing, on the— Sylvi: Yeah. Got sunscreen on my nose. Austin: Oh yeah, classic look. Alright. Sylvi: Okay. Austin: Not So Mighty Serve does get across the net and who hit last? Jimmy. Johnny is up, let’s hit the Johnny Cakes button. Johnny is gonna do a mighty serve. And says this as he swings back, (as Johnny Cakes): I’m better at walloping than you’ll ever be! Austin: He misses. He misses big. Keith: [laughs] Janine: Mmm. Austin: He was so busy trying to shit talk, he rolls a 9 and the ball slams against the ground. Sylvi: Nice one, Johnny Cakes. Keith: Hey, it’s our first point! We’re on the board! Janine: Hell yeah. Austin: No, you got a point, you already got a point once. Brontë— Keith: Oh, we did? Austin: Brontë aced them! Yeah! Keith: Oh that’s true. So we’re tied 2-2? Austin: The Sand-Blasted Beauty! No, they’re up 3-1. [laughs] Because of— Keith: Oh. Austin: Yeah. Keith: Wait, no. If we got a point, then this is the second point so it’s 3-2. Austin: This is your second point, they got a third point when you broke the ball last turn. Janine: Mhm. Keith: Right, okay. Got it. Austin: Yes. They’re up by one. But you’re doing alright, you’re doing alright. Keith: I thought it was 2-0, so 3-2, that’s fine. Austin: 3-2 is fine! Yeah. They are up, and having missed just now, Johnny hands the sandball which is still damaged over to Jimmy, who is doing the signature dextrous hit. And gets a 13. The ball is in crisis as it comes towards you. Janine: Mmm. Keith: I think we should mighty hit it. Janine: Yeah. Keith: Because I think that if we do extra damage to it, I think it will not break, but then it might— Janine: Well, maybe—mm. Keith: Then I think it will break. Janine: Hang on, let me scroll—okay so [Austin: snorts] dex hit, then HR plus four… Sylvi: [laughs quietly] Janine: Mmm, I don’t know maybe we should do a dextrous hit if it’s in crisis. Keith: Okay. Janine: Just— Austin: Go for it. Janine: Eh, yeah I don’t know. I’ll give it a- well. I’ll do what I’ll do. Austin: Ugh, the 18 is enough, but it is way too much— Sylvi: [laughs] Janine: Ohh. Austin: Damage wise and shatters against the—yes, Sylvi. As Sylvi just DMs me: they’re so fucked. Unfortunately. Sylvi: That was triple the HP it had. Austin: Yeah. Janine: [laughs] Austin: And actually, actually I think—yeah. Uh huh. So boom, it shatters against— Keith: So there was no way to hit it. Austin: There was basically no way to hit it, they trapped you here. A classic— Keith: Yeah. Janine: Mm, mhm. Austin: A classic Beachminton— Janine: It’s RNG, you know. Austin: It is RNG. Janine: The walkthroughs will tell you that if you lose the first couple rounds, you should just start over. You should just load your save. Austin: [laughs] That’s right! Sylvi: Yeah. Keith: See, my mistake was thinking that it had just hit crisis, but it was deep into crisis. Austin: It was deep into crisis. It was deep into crisis. Keith: Yeah. Austin: In fact, it may have been deeper into—I’m realizing now I was actually underselling how low it was. It was actually a little bit lower than that. It was—cause, Sylvi, I had not done the—it should’ve been at like 3 or something like that, not at what I thought it was which was 6. Sylvi: [laughs] Oh okay, so it was like— Austin: You were done. Sylvi: Six times. Austin: Here’s what I’ll say, if you had critted, I would have given it to you. [Keith: Okay.] I think crits can avoid this. I think there has to be a way out, right? Keith: Yeah, yeah. Janine: Yeah. Keith: Yeah, there has to be a way out. Austin: And it’s crits. Sylvi: I’d hope so. Austin: Anyway, you’re serving. Keith: And it’s crits… Janine: I’ll serve. Austin: Okay. Keith: Okay. Janine: Uhhh, I think—no, I’m gonna stick with dex, you know? Austin: You know what you’re doing, yeah. Also that was the Sweet and Sublime Adelvys Slice, which is so good. Janine: Yes. [laughs] Thank you. Austin: The other side’s gonna be so mad that y’all are playing fucking games over here. That is a 10! 10 plus—sorry, it is 17, 10 is the high number so it’s 14 [Janine: Mhm.] damage. Ball seems fine right now. Keith: Great. Austin: Not in crisis. Sylvi: Game FA—picturing a game FAQs forum thread of like, how come the east game gets so many minigames? Austin: [laughs] That’s right. Janine: [laughs] Austin: A hundred percent. Sylvi: Weird. Janine: That’s cause they added it late in development, so they had to kind of pad it out. [laughs] Sylvi: [laughs] Austin: They had to—yeah, uh huh. Alright. Jimmy leaps up to try to counter this as it’s coming over the net with his patented Ace Killer hit. Keith: Oof. Janine: Did he eat it? Austin: Which misses big time! Keith: Which misses. Austin: Fucking eats it. Janine: Hell yeah. Austin: And I think he eats it. Like he tries [Keith: laughs] to jump up to meet the ball and stumbles— Janine: He’s jumping up to meet it, yeah. Austin: Yeah, really falls over the net, but not even all the way. He gets tangled up in the net and his face is in the ground… and Brontë, you have scored another point. Janine: Hell yeah. Keith: Is there anything worse than a mouthful of sand? Austin: Great—yeah, uh huh. Janine: Did you have a—I had a sand eating phase. Keith: One of the worst, all time. Janine: In preschool. I think some kids have that. Austin: I did not. Janine: Okay, well. [laughs] Austin: Some kids do have that. That is true. Like you [laughs] apparently. Janine: [laughs] Yes. Austin: Alright. There we go. Alright, it is their serve. Johnny goes over and is like, (as Johnny Cakes): Get out of the net! You’re making us look like schmucks. They’re the schmucks! They’re the schmucks, Johnny! Sylvi: [laughs] I’m not owned! Austin: I’m not owned! Sylvi: I’m not owned! Janine: [laughs] Janine: They shrink into a sandball. Austin: Yeah, exactly. Sylvi: [laughs] As they shrink into a little piece of meat on a hot stick. Janine: [laughs] Austin (as Johnny Cakes): It’s time to get back to the fundamentals, Jimmy. Austin: And rolls a normal hit. Dex plus might, a 10! Kind of right down the middle here, it is a normal hit which means it is HR, which is 6, plus six so that is 12 damage. Actually it’s an 11, I was not counting their plus one. It’s not giving me a chance to add the plus one to these rolls for them? [Keith: Hm.] I don’t know if that’s a—are y’all getting a prompt that says you can add a bonus to these rolls or? Janine: Yeah. Keith: There’s a mod- yeah, there’s a mod field. Austin: I see. Yeah, not for NPCs. NPCs just straight up roll, so. Keith: Oh okay. Austin: So that is 11 is your difficulty and I will subtract the damage that is just did, which is 12. Who is returning? I guess that’s you— Keith: Is it in crisis? Austin: It is not in crisis. No. Keith: Okay, I’ll hit- I’ll hit this. Janine: You wanna slam it? Keith: I’m gonna slam it. Janine: Mhm. I think it’s a good time to slam it. Keith: 13! Austin: Ooh, that’s a counter! Strong counter. And a 10– Janine: Hmmm. Austin: 10 plus the mighty hit’s plus eight is 18 damage, it is in crisis. Sylvi: Mhm. Austin: Alright. I’ve sent the score over to Sylvi for verification. Sylvi: Thank you. Austin: Uh huh. Janine: [laughs] Austin: Ooh, okay. 13 is doable. Jimmy- Jimmy is looking for the Spirit Killer. Ace Killer didn’t work out, [Keith: Right.] the Spirit Killer is gonna. Sylvi: [snorts] He’s glowing right now. Austin: He’s glowing, he’s trying to break you, not in body, but in mind, but in soul. With the dex, dex Spirit Killer. The dextrous hit, again, does not get a bonus, so. Oh my god, Jimmy! Keith: Jimmy! Austin: This is not playoff Jimmy. Playoff Jimmy is not here, [Janine: Mm.] Jimmy rolled a 1 and a 5. Sylvi: [laughs] Austin: And guess what y’all? The game is all tied up. Keith: Wow. All Tied Up [1:16:26] Austin: It is 4-4, Dessert Brothers. And now you’re getting a crowd. At 4-4, this is like: wait a second, no one’s beaten the Dessert Brothers in months! And this is gonna be their serve. The ball is still in crisis, so here you get it. Antistrophe, the ball slams against the ground and shatters into a million grains of sand. You’ve crushed the ball successfully, everyone’s, you know, clapping and yelling. New ball being formed Keith: Is there like a magical force to the explosion when it hits like that? Austin: [explosion sound] Pow! Keith: Is there like a little- like a little sand crater? Austin: Oh that’s really fun. Keith: Like a little one! Austin: A little one. And then they like—there are little sand elementals who run out with like pushbroom brushes, but they just get to where the crater is and then dissolve into the sand [Keith: laughs] to fill the crater in. [laughs] Janine: [laughs] Awe, good for them. Keith: Yeah. Austin: Uh huh. Janine: It’s nice to have a place in the world. You know? Austin: It is! It is. Keith: And my place is in that sand crater. Austin: [laughs] Yeah, that crater is for me. Jimmy says, (as Jimmy Cone): Okay, no, listen. Johnny, I got it. Listen, I’m not so good today on the returns, but I’m gonna—let me hit first. They won’t be able to keep up. Austin: And Johnny’s like, (as Johnny Cakes): If you say so, little big bro. Sylvi: I love that PS3 game. Janine: LBB. Austin: [chuckles] That’s right. Keith: Jimmy shouldn’t let Johnny put him down. Johnny is also not doing that good. Austin: Yeah, no, neither of them is crushing it. Janine: Yeah, but it’s a mindset thing, you know. [chuckles] Austin: Uh huh. Keith: Yeah. Johnny was the one that said, “I’m better at walloping than you’ll ever be” and then missed. Austin: This is true. Alright here we go, a dextrous opener. 16 and a 10 high, so 10 plus four is 14 damage to the sandball. Janine: Wait, I thought he was little big bro. Austin: No that—well, he was—mm I think he’s the big little bro and the other one’s the little big bro. Janine: Ohh okay, okay, okay. Austin: Yeah. I get it, it’s very confusing. Janine: Alright, yeah yeah yeah. Austin: If you don’t have— Keith: It’s like the Toguros. The older one’s smaller. Austin: [laughs] That’s exactly right, yes. What did I say? I said it was 10 plus uhh four, so 14 damage. Okay. Keith: What do you think, Janine? This is your hit? Janine: Uhhh I think it might be another dex. I don’t- I don’t know. Although wait, that was just a serve, right? That’s a fresh one? Austin: That’s just a serve. Freshie. Keith: Yeah, that’s a fresh one. Austin: It’s a serve with a new ball. Janine: Mmmm. Austin: Yeah. Not in crisis yet. Janine: Maybe- maybe we want an Antistrophe hit on that. Keith: Okay. Yeah, we’ll do the mighty one now so that we’ll- we can do a dex one if it comes back weaker. Janine: Yeah, do a finesse one after that. Yeah. Austin: Yeah. Hey, I’m ready for- I’m wanting to see a real good volley back and forth you know? Keith: Oh, it just started pouring out! Janine: It’s hard to do that when the ball’s like, 16. Austin: Yooo!!! Keith: Oh my god! Austin: [laughs] Antistrophe’s Strong Smash coming in at 21! Janine: Mmmm. Keith: [laughs] Sylvi: God damn. Is that the highest roll we’ve had? By a player character? Austin: We’ve never seen a ball hit like this in all of Beachminton history, folks! Keith: [laughs] Austin: Strong Smash, 21, 10 plus eight is 18– Janine: Please don’t explode it… Austin: Damage. It’s not even in crisis yet, you’re gonna be fine. Janine: Okay, okay. Sylvi: 18? Austin: It is still not in crisis even after that remarkable hit. Keith: Wow. Austin: I think we get the cut in shots of Jimmy and Johnny looking up like, [gasps]. Almost amazed at how beautiful of a shot it is, you know? Janine: It’s like a ripple through the sand. Keith: Right. Sylvi: A ball surrounded— Austin: That’s right, [impact sound] kaphew. Sylvi: The ball surrounded by like, Dragon Ball Z style energy. Austin: Yeah the air—as you went up to hit it, the other grains of sand started floating above the ground just a little bit. You know? Keith: [laughs] Sylvi: Yeah. It’s like Razor playing- um, playing dodgeball in Hunter x Hunter. Austin: That’s right. Yes. Keith: Mhm. Sylvi: Listen to Media Club Plus. [laughs] Austin: Oh boy. The only way they can stop this is Jimmy. Johnny can’t do it. Jimmy leaps into the air, Desperate Dextrous Swing. Oh, but the pluses—could the pluses make this viable for Johnny instead? No. Keith: It has to- yeah, it has to be a normal one because the dextrous is plus zero, right? So you max out at 20. Austin: Yeah that’s what I’m saying. Well what I’m saying is, Johnny does not have 10 in might or anything. Johnny’s an across the board—I didn’t make these characters like, diametrically opposed. They’re not really Waluigi, Wario. One of them is not might 10 and the other one is not dex 10, they’re just like regular ass characters because they are just regular ass characters. So one of them happens to have 10 dex. Yeah, I’m gonna swing the dextrous, the Desperate Dextrous Swing. It is no good. It is an 8 and a 7, if that 7 had been an 8 it would’ve been a crit. Antistrophe, you pull into the lead here. You are up 5-2 [sic.] against the Dessert Brothers. It seemed impossible when the game began, but here we are. Janine: [chuckles] Keith: The crowd goes wild. Austin: The crowd goes wild. Janine: It’s our first time playing! We had to figure it out. Sylvi (as Beachminton Viewers): [cheering] Keith (as Beachminton Viewers): [cheering] Austin: That’s right. Janine: We had to get our Beachminton legs. Austin: That’s right. And the ball is not yet in crisis still, one of the densest balls you’ve seen. Janine: Hm. Austin: Johnny picks Jimmy up. Keith: I say that, I pick up the shuttlecock and I say, (as Antistrophe): This is one of the densest balls I’ve seen! Austin: That’s right. Keith: [laughs] Austin (as Dessert Brother): Hey! Hey buddy, it’s our serve! Keith: Is it? Austin: Yeah, cause you just scored on them. Keith: Oh okay. Austin: Yeah. Keith: It’s the loser of the volley— Austin: That’s right, yes. Keith: Who serves. It’s not alternating. Austin: Yeah, exactly. The thing that alternates is based on—yeah, exactly. Alright, are you ready for— Keith: Okay. I’m ready. Austin: You’re ready for the Patty Cake Patty Cake Baker’s Lob? It is not very good. Sylvi and Keith: [laugh uproariously] Janine: Uhh— Austin: It’s just a 10. Keith: It’s not! Yeah, it didn’t sound that good. Austin: Johnny tried so hard, but actually was like—you know what it is? Johnny was like, okay I’m just—going heavy isn’t working, going light isn’t working, maybe the dex plus might, down the middle—I’ll just kind of loft it. I’m just gonna loft it. And then it’s an 11 cause it’s a 10 plus 1. The high number there was a 6, so it’s a 6 plus six damage. Which I don’t think has brought it yet into crisis, I’ll double check. No, [laughs] it has not gotten into crisis yet. Keith: Wow. Janine: Mmm. Keith: Janine, is this your volley here? Janine: Yeah, maybe yeah. Yeah. Maybe- maybe a dex and then they hit and then a might if it comes back. To like really— Austin: Mhm. Only a 10, right? I feel like this is doable. Janine: Yeah. I’m running out of words for cool attacks. Austin: You’ve been doing a great job, I gotta tell you. Janine: [laughs] This is not my strongest. Austin: Oh but it’s an 11! An 11 does send it back. Keith: It is an 11. Austin: The Voluptuous Volley! Keith: It’s a tie, what happens on a tie? Austin: Tie goes to the hitter. Like the new—it’s always—the volley continues. You know. Keith: Right. Austin: Dex plus dex so it’s just an 11. It is an 11 plus four on dam—or sorry, not an 11 plus four—or it is a 10 plus 4, cause you got a 10 and a 1, wow. So 14 damage, it is now in crisis. Keith: It’s um— Austin: And it’s going back to them. Jimmy, centering— Keith: It’s our best volley, for sure. Austin: Yeah, this is the longest it’s gone, I think. Keith: This—it’s got a chance to keep going, even. Austin: It does. And Jimmy is gonna try to send it back to you with the Big Little Bro Backhand. Which I think is— Janine: Not the BLBB! H. Austin: The BLBBH. [laughs] Janine: [laughs] Austin: Which is— Sylvi: Gotta be careful, make sure you’re getting an accredited surgeon to get one of these. Janine: [laughs] Austin: That’s right, yeah. Uh huh. I heard some songs about that. I think this is a normal hit—ooh it’s an 11. This is a—mmmm. Keith: There’s songs about accredited surgeons? Austin: I mean there’s songs about everything. That’s not—we don’t have to get- we don’t have to go down this road. Ahh, yeah. I’m gonna mix it up with Jimmy. Jimmy’s gonna do dex plus might, Big Little Bro Backhand. So this is this plus one. Oh my god, a 12! And that is a 6 plus six, cause it’s the middle one, the normal hit. [Keith: Mhm.] So another 12 damage. Sending to Sylvi. I’ve skipped one here, but I can send you the backwork here if you— Sylvi: I— Austin: You trust me. Sylvi: I got you. I trust you. Austin: Alright, going back to you. Keith: I think that it’s still safe to do a might. What do you think, Janine? Janine: I don’t know, it’s in crisis. Keith: It is in crisis, but it—if we miss it, then we lose cause it’s in crisis. And it was not in crisis for so long. Austin: [laughs] Janine: Well why would I miss it? Keith: Well it’s just that you don’t have the plus two. I have plus two over your roll. Janine: Oh that’s true. Well— Austin: Well you—yeah. You both get the—you could both do either roll type. You could all—both of you could do any of the three roll types, you’re just rolling your highest roll consistently. Keith: Right, it’s just- it’s just a 6– a 2d6 versus a 2d10. Austin: Right, exactly. Yes. Keith: Yeah. Austin: I just love that we’re- we’ve recreated—what’s it called in Hunter x Hunter when time slows down? Because you’re approaching death. [chuckles] Sylvi: Like battle sense? I don’t remember. Austin: Yeah, whatever it is. This is— Keith: Spirit time, the— Austin: Spirit time. Spirit time is here. When two—you know, [laughs] when Beachminton players reach a volley of over five exchanges, it’s said that time begins to slow down. Keith: I do feel like I might die here. [laughs] I’ll let you veto Janine, but I will—I’m comfortable rolling. Janine: How does crisis work again? It’s like a percentage of the thing? Austin: It’s half- it’s halfway through. Keith: It’s half, yeah. Austin: Yep, mhm. Janine: Okay. Right. Austin: Mhm. Janine: [sighs] Yeah, maybe give it a might. I think, you know, I’m—Keith, I’m trusting you. Keith: Augh!! Austin: Augh! Wait! No no no, wait wait wait, cause that’s- that’s fine. Might plus might—oh you already added the plus two, your plus two is already there. Keith: I already—yes. Janine: Yeah, yeah. Austin: Whereas theirs don’t start with it. Keith: My plus two’s already there. Austin: Augh, that’s a 10! Oh, [Keith: Yeah.] your Signature Smash misses. Sylvi: That’s heartbreaking. Keith: Yeah. Austin: They go up, 6 to 5. Sorry, 6 to— Keith: This is— Austin: Yeah, 6 to—no they— Keith: 5. Austin: Mmm. Keith: No, it’s 5 to 5. 5 to 5. Austin: They tie you. Keith: We were winning 5 to 4. Yeah. Austin: You were winning 5 to 4 a second ago. Or—right? Is that correct? Keith: Yes. Austin: Okay. Keith: Yeah. Austin: Okay! Janine: I thought you said 5 to 2, but that seemed wrong to me at the time. Keith: No that’s—yeah, yeah, it was 5. Austin: No, it was definitely—cause it was 4 to 4 when everybody like, came over and went woo! Janine: Right, yeah yeah. Okay. Austin: You know? Alright, so it’s now tied up again, 5 to 5. Janine: Oohh. Austin: And the ball smashes— Keith: The crowd’s murmuring. This is full of murmurs. Austin: Yes, a hundred percent. Big murmurs. Sylvi (as Beachminton Viewers): [quiet muttering] Austin: 5 to 5. Importantly, I said before you have to win by two, maybe I walk that back. We’ll see, we’ll see, we’ll see. Because I don’t wanna go forever, you know? Keith: Now’s the time to walk it back. [laughs] Austin: Exactly. I think just [Keith: Yeah.] first to 7. Keith: Okay. Austin: Cause it seems possible we don’t get a string of two hits, two wins in a row at this point. Alright, I have sent the number to Sylvi. Sylvi: Mhm! Austin: That means it’s your serve. Keith: This the new- this is a new ball? Austin: New ball. That’s right. Keith: Alright. I haven’t served in a while—oh no, I just went though. So Janine you can serve, your serves are pretty good anyway. Janine: Okay. Hmmm. Austin: Riant has little pompoms out. Somehow. Sylvi: Awe. Austin: They’re like fire pompoms. People are like oh cute! Then they’re like ah, it’s fire! [laughs] Keith: [laughs] Fire’s still cute. Austin: It’s true. Sylvi: Like the- it’s doing the- it’s got the like spinny stick that the Alolan Marowak has. Austin: Oh my god. Keith: Now it’s wooshing all over the place. Austin (as Riant): Woosh, woosh! Wooshwooshwoosh! Shwish, shw-shwish. Keith (as Riant): [wooshing sounds] Austin: Oh, the Dissipated Scion Serve, 13. 8 plus four is 12 damage. Keith: 13, not bad. Austin: To the number that I sent to Sylvi and then forgot. There it is. Okay. 12 isn’t so bad! Johnny is gonna give it a classic Comeback Shot. And miss. Badly, with a 9. That pushes you up, 6 to 5. The crowd— Keith: It’s match point! Austin: Is clapping, but there’s like a degree of—it is match point. There’s a degree of amazement and a degree of like—I think there’s a small murmur of like, wait a second. We were rooting for the fact that these were like incredible outsiders, we don’t know who they are. But we- but now, they’re gonna beat our hometown heroes. Even though our heroes are kind of villains, they’re the best we got. Keith: They’re our villains. Austin: They’re our villains! Sylvi: They’re still our guys! Austin: That’s right. And so someone says like— Janine: What if I wink at some of the cute people? Austin: Oh, give me a- you should give me a persuade check. [laughs] Janine: [laughs] Okay. Austin: An insight, willpower check. Janine: Oh those aren’t my best, but okay. Austin: Well we’ll see. Difficulty 10. Janine: Can I get like a bonus because I’m doing all kinds of dextrous handsome guy stuff? Austin: Ah, you could- you could- mmm, ehh. Sylvi: [laughs] Keith: There is—captivate is dextrous, willpower. There is a captivate. Austin: Oh, is there? Okay, then let’s do that. Let’s do captivate. Yeah, that’s much— Keith: Yeah, move with grace and earn someone’s attention. Janine: Oh! I mean, that’s totally—yeah. Austin: That’s what you’ve been doing. That’s what you’ve been doing. Janine: That’s one hundred percent the thing. Keith: Yeah. Austin: Yes, yes, yes, you’re right. Janine: Yeah yeah yeah. Austin: Give me that. Dextrous plus willpower. Janine: I wish I could put a star next to one of these buttons to be like, use this one more! [laughs] Austin: Yeah. [chuckles] Keith: [laughs] Austin: I said difficulty 10–that is an 11! I think everyone starts to doubt and then they—what type of maneuver do you give them? Janine: I’m moving gracefully to earn someone’s attention. [cross] Um, I think— Austin: [cross] But what is the type of—yeah. Janine: I think- I think it’s a thing of like, maybe as we’ve been going, when I do a good hit, sometimes I will like kind of wink at someone and be like, (as Brontë): That one was for you. Austin: Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. Janine: Yeah. Austin: Yeah, then as this sort of hometown hero stuff starts to murmur, someone else says like, (as Beachminton Viewer): Let’s go hot guys!! Janine: [laughs] Austin: Which, Antistrophe, you’ve just [Keith: laughs] been rolled into the hot guys. So hot is Brontë that— Janine: Congrats. Austin: Yeah. [laughs] That the aura— Keith: Then I’m gonna- I’m gonna also roll captivate. Austin: [laughing] Oh good! Yes, please. Janine: [laughs] Austin: Yeah! Keith: 6. Austin: 6! Janine and Keith: [laugh uproariously] Austin: Woo! And any- with the 11, any hometown advantage they were gonna get, they’ve lost. They didn’t like to hear that. Johnny says—gonna goes over to—Johnny like, throws the racquet down on the ground and begins to walk away. And everyone’s like, [gasps]. And Jimmy goes over and grabs him by the shoulder and is like, (as Jimmy Cone): Johnny Cakes! Come on, man! You can’t just give up, we’ve got these guys just where we want them! Austin: And Johnny like shakes his head and says, (as Johnny Cakes): I don’t know what got the better of me there. Yeah, let’s put ‘em in the dirt! Austin: And goes over and picks up the racquet. Janine: [laughs] (as Brontë): That’s sand. Austin (as Johnny Cakes): Shut up! Metaphorical dirt! Keith: Yeah, metaphorical dirt. Austin (as Jimmy Cone): I got this one, Johnny. Austin: And Jimmy goes back to the Jim Jam Slam. Sylvi: That’s a wrestling move. Austin: That’s right, that’s also a dex— Janine: Isn’t that a word for pajamas? Your jim jams? Sylvi: It is! Austin: Yeah, well. It’s a 17 is what is fucking is. Janine: [laughs] Keith: That’s not bad. Sylvi: Cause he’s putting you to sleep. Austin: [laughs] That’s right! Janine: [laughs] Austin: 8 plus four is 12, which brings us to a number that is…not yet in crisis. Janine: Antistrophe, you wanna—how you feeling? Keith: Sure, I’ll do a mighty hit. Austin: This is a reminder—difficulty 17. Janine: Ooh, yeah. Austin: Kind of a big one. Janine: Kind of a big one. Austin: And this could be game point. It’s match point. Keith: Alright. Oh my game disappeared, that’s fine. Oof. Austin: Ooohh! Janine: Oof. Austin: Only an 11! Keith: Only an 11. Match Point [1:31:56] Austin: And the ball slams into the ground. It has not exploded. It is- it is not in crisis yet, but it does tie the game back up to 6. And now we’re getting like the sort of competing chants, the sort of wrestling- the height of the wrestling match where two different— Sylvi (as Beachminton Viewers): Let’s go hot guys! Sylvi (as Opposing Beachminton Viewers): Hot guys suck! Janine: [laughs] Austin: Yeah, exactly. [laughing] Hot guys, hot guys suck! Yeah. [laughs] Your serve. Janine: Mmm. Austin: Damn, it was the big one you tried. Did not hit. Keith: Yeah, it was the big one. Too- it was too big. Austin: [quietly] Ohh boy. This is—I’m— [hands rubbing together] I’m nervous! I wanna know what’s gonna happen! Keith: Yeah. What do you think, Janine? Do you wanna serve again? Janine: Maybe, just so we have room to build if we need to? Keith: Sure. Janine: Okay. Keith: Still no crisis on the— Austin: Still no crisis. Cause you didn’t hit it. Keith: Right. Austin: So it just took the regular. So no crits or fumbles, which is interesting. Keith: Yeah. Austin: I’m so excited to tell you what you get if you win, but you have to win first. Sylvi: Yeah, does tend to be crucial. Keith: Yeah. Austin: [laughs] Keith: Can’t believe how close it is. Austin: This is wild! Keith: I kinda expected to win and then I expected to lose. Janine: Oh. Austin: [laughs] Ooooh the Coup de Gras Deluxe is only an 8! Janine: Uh huh. Austin: Oh no…5 plus 3. 5 plus four is the damage, so that is 9 damage. It is in crisis. Johnny. Johnny? Johnny does a backflip. Janine: Yes Papa? Austin: [laughs] Actually, I want—Jimmy does a backflip and is like, (as Jimmy Cone): I’m putting ‘em away for good! Austin: And is gonna try to slam it down with a Rapid Fire Double Down Super Shot. Dex, dex. Keith: Like the breadless chicken sandwich? Austin: Like the breadless chicken—[laughs] like the Double Down. That’s right. I’m making sure my—sorry, I’m making sure my math is right here. I said it was—you did 9 damage to it, right? Yes, okay. That is an 8! So that is— Keith: Oh my god. Austin: That ties yours, so the volley continues. Keith: The volley continues. Austin: But it’s low and it is—that does another 5 plus four, is 9 again. Alright. Deep into crisis now, it’s been in crisis for a number of shots. Janine: Mmmm. Keith: It has? Austin: Yeah. Keith: I didn’t realize that. Austin: Those two shots back to back. Keith: What do you think, Janine? Janine: Uhh I think—mmmm. Keith: Should I hit it or should you hit it? Janine: I think maybe I should hit it. Keith: I think so. Austin: Or wait am I wrong? Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Am I—should this have been a fresh ball? When did we break the ball last? Janine: It hasn’t- this one— Austin: I wanna make sure I didn’t fuck up. Janine: I dunno. Sylvi: I don’t think you did. Austin: Okay. Jimmy— Keith: I thought that— Austin: I’m looking at my calculator app. I think—yes. I think previously it had been just above—it had been just above crisis when Antistrophe, you rolled. Might plus might is what? It’s plus—I said this already, I’ve said this many times—it’s plus eight. So that big one—oh the big one was a miss though. Keith: It was a miss. Yeah, that didn’t do any damage. Austin: Okay so that means that the thing before that was this dex plus dex which, I think I’m off by one here, cause I think I did 8 plus four instead of 9 plus four. So that’s what brought it into crisis, I think. Keith: Okay. It’s— Austin: No, that’s still above—that was still above crisis. Jimmy Cone’s [Keith: Okay.] Jim Jam Slam did not bring it into crisis even at the—even if I had added another damage to it, [Keith: Okay.] that still wouldn’t have brought it into crisis. So it got into crisis when Brontë started this new serve. Keith: Okay. Austin: That brought it into crisis. I was right, it remains in crisis now, but the number’s off by one. Okay. The Rapid Fire Double Down Super Shot did another 9 damage to it, it remains in crisis, it’s coming back to you. Keith: I still think, Janine, that you should do it just in case. I think it would be fine. I think that it has in the high twenties, that’s my guess of— Janine: It also helps that the number’s still low enough that like the actual getting the number to counter could still be a problem, but is probably not gonna be as bad of a problem. [laughs] Austin: Right, cause it’s an 8, you’re trying to beat an 8. Which is not that high. Janine: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Keith: Right. Janine: Okay. I’ll do a dex— Austin: Dex, dex? Okay. Janine: On it. Yeah, dex, dex. Kitten’s Paw Return. Austin: [sighs] Ohh. Keith: Beautiful. Austin: Is it? It had— Keith: No!!! Austin: It had 12 HP. You’re at 14, unfortunately. Keith: Ohhh. Janine: [sighs] Keith: But what’s— Austin: Oh yeah, wait— Keith: But that’s not—it’s high roll plus four. Austin: It’s high roll, not— Keith: So it’s 13. Austin: That’s one too high. Keith: Wait so it’s still bad! Austin: Yeah. Keith: Oh no… Austin: It’s one too high. Janine: Wait! Wait. Mmm. Keith: Wait. Austin: [laughs] Janine: Uhh what’s a funny thing I can do to save this? Keith: Yeah. Austin: Okay, I mean let’s see! Keith: [laughs] Austin: What is a funny thing you can do for the Kitten’s Paw Return? Janine: [laughing] Can I- can I when I suffer damage, I can halve it with Efta and Zolfta? Can I get them looped in on this shit? Austin: I think that that gives you a disqualification. Sylvi: Oh my god… Austin: Don’t you have a thing that lets you not do damage? Janine: Oh, I did—that’s- oh that’s true. That is true. Austin: What is that ability? What is that ability? Janine: Oh my god, that’s true. Um, uhhh bah bah bah, let me see…oh. [laughs] Austin: I’ll count—I’ll allow it. I’m looking at it. Janine: No, I’ve got it. When you hit one or more targets with a ranged attack—oh, with a ranged attack—that would deal damage. Austin: This is a ranged attack, you’re hitting them both in a sense. [Janine: Okay.] You’re targeting them both in a sense. Janine: Okay. Sure. Austin: You know? Janine: Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Austin: [laughs] Janine: You—wait, hang on I need to—hm. I’m double checking. Oh right, okay that’s a different one. Yeah, okay. If you do, choose one option. Inflict shaken on each target hit by the attack, or inflict slow on each target hit by the attack, or each target hit by the attack loses SL 10 mind points. Describe your maneuver. I think choosing to not damage the ball [Austin: Yeah.] and also inflict slow on them is like, that’s sports anime. Austin: That’s sports anime to me. You’re inventing a new thing— Janine: Especially for a thing called the Kitten’s Paw Return? Come on. [laughs] Austin: I don’t think anyone knew you could use abilities during this type of sport. You’re really developing—the game is changing today. You know? Janine: Also I don’t even have to spend points for that, I forgot. I can just do that for free. Austin: It’s—yeah. Sylvi: Brontë is sort of the Steph Curry of— Austin: That’s what I’m thinking! Exactly, yeah. Sylvi: Yeah, Beachminton. Austin: Okay wait, so what are you giving them? Slow or shaken? Janine: Slow. Austin: Both of them are getting slow, which reduces their dexterity size by one. Janine: I want that- I want that like- I want that like— Austin: Oof. Janine: [faux slow motion voice] Ouarghhh. You know? Austin: Yeah, a hundred percent. Alright, which means you do no damage to it, it stays afloat. The Kitten’s Paw Return is so soft, so simple. You do spend some—does it spend MP for that? Or whatever, right? Janine: It doesn’t actually. Austin: That’s wild. It’s just when you hit, so [cross] if you had missed you couldn’t have done it. Janine: [cross] When you hit one or—yeah. Austin: Yeah, I got you. Janine: Exactly. Austin: Alright, cool. Janine: And to be fair, it’s a thing where you’re saying like, I don’t wanna deal any damage at all even though I hit. Austin: Right, exactly. Yes. Janine: So that’s the cost, right? [laughs] Normally. Austin: That is the cost. That is a normal cost—right, yeah. I understand what you’re saying. Alright, who last hit for them? Jimmy? Oof, okay. Ohh brother. I’m playing to win over here. Sylvi: That’s what Johnny’s saying. Austin: That’s right. [chuckles] Oohh. It’s simple. I’m double checking—okay. Doing dex plus might, it’s simple. It’s Johnny Cakes’ Veteran’s Return. You know, this person’s been- he’s been playing this game for as long as this game existed. We’re getting the flashback to him and Jimmy picking up racquets as little kids on the sand, (as Young Dessert Brother): What’s this, mister? (as Beachminton Player): Oh, this is called Beachminton. (as Young Dessert Brother): You think we could be any good at it? (as Beachminton Player): Well, if you try! If you practice! Janine: [laughs] Austin: Yoooo!!! Keith: Oh my god!! Sylvi: Holy fuck. Austin: They critted. Sylvi: Holy fuck. Austin: They critted. With a—it’s a 12, it’s lower than the 14, [Janine: Woww.] but it’s a crit, a crit is always a hit! Sylvi: You are not the protagonists of the sports anime. Austin: You are not! Janine: Yeah. Sylvi: I’m sorry. Austin: I- I have to decide what this actually does, cause this would destroy the ball. Keith: But we already said that it wouldn’t. Austin: We already said that it wouldn’t. Janine: We said— Sylvi: Cause it’s a crit. Janine: We said that a crit wouldn’t destroy the ball like when it—what was it? There was a specific thing cause it’s like tied up with the crisis and the landing. Austin: The ball’s HP—right, so right now when you hit it and did no damage to it, [Janine: Yeah.] you left the ball’s HP at—oh wait, you know what, so yes. So this would not destroy it already. This would not have destroyed it. I do think you are just in a fucked position, because that was a dex, dex, right? Or did I hit dex, might? Janine: Oh right, and 6 plus four would be 10. Austin: Wait wait wait, this is lying to you. Keith: It’s 13, no it would destroy it because it’s 13. Austin: It’s at 12, it’s dex plus eight—or sorry, it’s dex plus might is what this is. Janine: Oh right. Austin: It says dex, dex because the game is—the Roll20 thing is weird. But you can see that it’s a d6 and a d8. Keith: Oh okay. Austin: So that’s the dex plus might. Keith: So it would be a 13, which would destroy it. Austin: So it’s actually a 13, the 13 would easily- would destroy it. It’s at 12 HP is where it’s at, at this point. So that would destroy it. So does it not also- do they also not do the damage back? Is that also what the crit does? The crit doesn’t damage the ball. Maybe the crit allows you to decide how much damage—that’s too powerful. Does the crit let you pick— Janine: Okay. Have I— Keith: Well, okay— Janine: Here’s the other thing. Austin: Yeah. Janine: Have we already expended the using abilities in sports? Austin: I mean, depends on what you wanna do. Janine: Cause I do also have Crossfire. Austin: Oh my god, you could try to shoot these guys? Sylvi: Oh my god. Austin: [laughs] Janine: After a creature you can see— Keith: [laughs] Austin: Uh huh. Janine: Performs a ranged attack, you may spend an amount of mind points equal to the total result of their accuracy check in order to have their attack fail automatically against all targets. Austin: Ohh. Janine: You can only use this skill if you have a ranged weapon equipped and it has no effect if the accuracy check [Austin: Yeah…] was a—oh—critical success. Nevermind. [laughs] Austin: Oh, they’re protected from it! You’re gonna try—right. Janine: Yeah. Yeah. Austin: Wow. Wow. Wow. Sylvi: They got your asses Janine: This is so funny. Keith: This is my question. Austin: Yeah. Keith: So the thing that we decided that crits do is that [Austin: Yes.] they don’t destroy the ball. I think that that’s— Austin: That’s right. But we did not— Keith: I think it just means that they don’t do any damage to it. The thing— Austin: But that’s not what we said, right? Keith: Well we said is that it wouldn’t destroy the ball. Austin: Right. Keith: But I can’t think of a way that it would do the damage and then not— Austin: It would just be at 1 HP. Which would require—I mean, regardless— Keith: Well it wouldn’t, it would be at zer—oh, you’re saying it would be— Austin: Yeah, that’s what the effect would be. Keith: Sure. Austin: It doesn’t get the kill, it just drops it to 1. Keith: Right. Which just means Janine would have to hit it back with the same ability. Austin: With a crit. Yeah. Keith: No not with a crit. With the same no damage thing. Austin: Oh, with the no damage ability again. Right. Keith: Right. Austin: Right. Keith: So— Janine: That’s true. Austin: But you still have to hit it. Keith: And because it’s a crit, it’s an automatic hit even though it’s lower. Austin: That’s correct, even though it’s only a 13 it’s still a hit. Keith: Okay. So I think— Austin: So yeah, it’s— Keith: We’re still in it, we just need Janine to beat a 12. Austin: And I think it’s at 1 HP, yeah. Oops. Keith: And we also need to daze them, I guess. Austin: Yeah, by the way, this was with them being slowed. Like their dex is lower than it should be normally, which is why that crit is such an amazing moment. Keith: Yeah. Austin: Alright. Janine, I think you gotta try to hit it. Janine: Yeah, okay. Austin: You gotta beat a 13. Keith: I was so sure that they’d already lost because there was no way to not destroy the ball— Austin: There basically was not—and still win, and still beat the 14. And they got the 12. Keith: And still win, [Sylvi: Yeah.] except to crit. They did the only thing. Austin: [sighs] Sylvi: Straight out of Haikyuu. I don’t know. Austin: It really is. Sylvi: They got your ass. Janine: Okay, I’m gonna do the Kitten’s Paw de Deux. That is an 11. Keith: Augh!! Austin: That is an 11, it short. It’s short by two. Janine: It’s just not there. Austin: It’s just not there. Kitten’s Paw de Deux, dex. Keith: Okay, can we- [Austin: snorts] can I assist? Austin: We’ve said you can! In the past. Janine: That’s true. Keith: We have. Austin: Yes, but I think this is it. If you try- if you try this—well, first of all, you’ll both need to- you’ll both—you’ll need to spend—I guess, right, you could reroll that 1 is what you could do, yes. Keith: Right. Oh! Or we also have— Austin: So you could Fabula Point, Brontë. Keith: Fabula Points. Janine: Oh! Yeah, no, okay. Austin: That actually makes more sense. Janine: I’m just gonna Fabula Point it. Austin: What is the identity—what is the thing you’re gonna call on? What element of yourself? What, um. Janine: Uhhhh… Austin: Ugh, what is it called? Identity, theme, or origin. Janine: My theme? Can I call my theme of scintillation? I’m very scintillated right now. Austin: Yeah, I think you’ve been playing- you’ve been playing scintillation big time. So then reroll the 1, I’m guessing you’re gonna keep the 10. Keith: I would keep the 10. Austin: Yeah. Janine: Yeah, yeah. Gonna declare and spend. Austin: Getting mad scintillated to reroll the ball die. Yeah, uh huh. The bad—no the ball. Yeah, the ball. Okay. Janine: Yeah, the ball die. Austin: The ball die. Janine: So I’m rerolling the—yeah. Keith: Oh my god, the ball die? Austin: The ball die… Janine: The ball die. Austin: Rerolling— Keith: Oh my god. Sylvi: It’s happened multiple times during this. Austin: That’s a crit back now! Keith: Oh my god! Janine: That’s a crit. Austin: Because you replaced the 1 with a 10! Sylvi: Holy shit. Janine: That is a 10 and a 10. Sylvi: They’ve entered the zone. Austin: They’ve entered the zone! Keith: [laughs] Austin: Time is frozen for those watching the game. Sylvi: Yeah. Janine: So I don’t even need to use the power, because it’s the same rules right? Austin: Correct! It’s the same rules! Janine: It doesn’t—yeah. Austin: [laughs] That’s right! Oh no… Janine: I’m not even doubling up, this is pure— Keith: Do you get to make them faux pas? Janine: This is pure—what? Austin: Oh right, they didn’t take an opportunity! I think- I think, no you’re spending the crit on the ability to [Keith: Sure.] not break the ball, in this case. Keith: Okay. Janine: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s fair. Keith: Well but then Janine doesn’t have to do that. So then can take an opportunity. Austin: [sighs] I guess that’s true, you could use the ability to not use the damage and instead get an opportunity from the crit and make them have a faux pas. Janine: That’s true. Austin: We’ve been— Keith: Or- or something! Janine: Ooooh. Austin: Yeah, or something else. Janine: Hmmm. Austin: [sighs] Keith: I just know that- I just know that a lot of us have been interested in faux pas. Janine: Okay, I wanna use the thing. Austin: Yeah. Janine: I wanna make them shaken. Austin: Okay. Janine: But also I want to create a bond towards them. [laughs] Austin: Ohh I love it. Janine: Because you did just say they were gonna be our Biggs and Wedge. [laughs] Austin: I did say that before. What’s the bond you’re creating? Sylvi: This is the origin story of why they’ve become a recurring nuisance. [laughs] Austin: Yeah! Janine: Do they become my fans? Austin: Maybe they become your fans. Sylvi: [gasps] Austin: Well first of all they have to— Janine: [inaudible 1:46:02] so cool. Sylvi: They show up dressed like Efta and Zolfta. Austin: Wait a second, we have to see if you win first. I think that they— Janine: Well yes. That’s— Austin: Right now they are at impressed. They are like, you know? Janine: They’ll be—yeah. Some sort of bond with them. Austin: Yes, exactly. Janine: Is, I think, what I would like to trade that for. Austin: I think that makes sense. Alright, well Johnny already got— Janine: Also they should be shaken now. Austin: They are shaken, I’ve added shaken. Janine: Okay, good. Austin: Which reduces their willpower by one. I think, you know— Keith: Sorry, are Biggs and Wedge someone that I don’t understand? Austin: Yeah, Biggs and Wedge are [Janine: chuckles] recurring names in Final Fantasy. There’s all— Keith: Okay, I’ve been hearing Star Wars. We keep talking— Austin: Well that’s what they’re named for. They’re named for [Keith: Okay.] Biggs Darklighter and Wedge Antilles. Sylvi: They’re named for—yeah. Yeah. Keith: Right. Austin: The other wingmen in A New Hope, but they showed up in— Keith: And so they keep— Austin: Like six, seven of the Final Fantasy games? Keith: Wow. Austin: Yeah. Keith: Just talking about them as recurring characters is weird [Austin: Yes.] if they’re the Star Wars ones. Austin: I understand, right. Keith: So I was like, this has to be someone else. Austin: Yes. Here I’ll show you, this is the Final Fantasy VII Biggs and Wedge, which are part of your crew at the beginning of the game. Sylvi: Yeah. Austin: They are often that sort of, you know, little guys who— Janine: Way better than they look in fourteen. Austin: That’s right. They are in the opening [Sylvi: Oh no.] of Final Fantasy VI, there’s a Biggs and Wedge who are with Terra. Sylvi: Yeah, they’re the Magitek pilots with you, right? Game Over [1:47:15] Austin: Yep, exactly. Yeah. Alright, Jimmy is gonna- is putting it all out there with his final shot. Dex, dex, it’s a 10, but it is not a crit. And yours was a 20, right? Keith: 20. Janine: Yeah. Austin: So this is it. Jimmy misses the shot, the ball, you know, breaks on the ground behind him. Drops to his knees, puts the racquet down. The referee calls it out, (as Beachminton Judge): Game: visitors. Game: hot guys. Austin: [laughs] Janine and Keith: [laugh] Austin: Woo! Crowd goes wild. Keith: Nailed that roll. Sylvi (as Beachminton Viewers): Wooo! Austin: Yeah, that’s okay, you’re still- you still- you’re basking in the aura of Brontë Adelvys. Janine: Take a flourishing bow. Keith: Brontë’s aura. Austin: Wow, unbelievable. I think Johnny stands up and walks over to you, and to both of you, picks up, you know, Jimmy on the way. And the two of them look at each other and they look at you, and they hand you the tennis racquets. Or sorry the— Keith: Wow. Austin: The Beachminton racquets. Sylvi: Beachminton racquets. Austin: Yeah, uh huh. Which are melee weapons that do the thing that they do. You can attack in any of those modes with them. Janine: [laughing] Oh, okay! Austin: I suspect I will reduce the damage buff, I’ll have to like make sure that that balances out in terms of— Janine: Well yeah, damaging a sandball is different than damaging a physical body of a person. Austin: Is very different, that’s right. Janine: Yeah. Austin: But they do work to give plus- the like plus zero, plus one, plus two depending on what roll you do, does exist for them. So that might be a little bit to put into the thing, I don’t think you’re gonna be fighting before the next session so, you know. [typing] Remember to write- or to add the racquets. Is it racquets with a- racquets like this—is this spelled right? C-Q? Janine: R-A-C-Q— Austin: Yeah, mhm. Janine: U-E-T-S? Sylvi: Ohh. Austin: [typing] To Brontë’s and Antistrophe’s sheets. There we go. You’re gonna get these racquets. And I think Johnny says, (as Johnny Cakes): By the way, I don’t know if you heard, but my name’s Johnny Cakes and this is my brother, Jimmy Cone. Keith (as Antistrophe): The Dessert Brothers? Austin (as Johnny Cakes): You’ve heard of us? Keith (as Antistrophe): Yeah, from today. Austin (as Johnny Cakes): Wow. Well, it’s good to meet you, outsiders. Janine (as Brontë): You played fantastically. It was an honor. To be here. Austin (as Jimmy Cone): I can’t believe—this was the first time you’ve played Beachminton? Is there Beachminton played elsewhere? Keith (as Antistrophe): I’ve never— Austin (as Jimmy Cone): Cause I thought this was just a local thing. Keith (as Antistrophe): I’ve never heard of it. Janine (as Brontë): I’ve played Vineminton, it’s kind of similar. Sylvi: Jesus. Austin (as Jimmy Cone): Vineminton…are you- are you from Grand— Austin: [scoffs] Why have I blanked on the name of our own— Sylvi: Sonnerie? Janine: Sonnerie. Austin: Thank you. (as Jimmy Cone): Are you from Grand Sonnerie? Janine (as Brontë): I am! Austin (as Jimmy Cone): Oh, I’d love to play Vineminton. The vines, you’re climbing them and hitting the ball, and [sighs] seems uh— Janine (as Brontë): You shouldn’t really climb- it’s considered gauche to climb. Austin (as Jimmy Cone): No no no, I heard all about it! Janine (as Brontë): Okay! Austin (as Jimmy Cone): I read about it in a comic! Janine (as Brontë): Oh. Sylvi: [laughs] Austin: Jimmy’s really into comics. Keith: Sports comics? Austin: Yeah, and stand up ones. Keith: Stand up comedy comics? Austin: Yeah, both. Keith: Okay. Janine: Oh, like—okay. I thought you meant like comics about stand up comedians. [laughs] Austin: [laughs] Janine: [laughing] I was like that sounds terrible. Sylvi: Ohhh! [inaudible 1:50:41] Austin: Comic books, stand up comics. Comic acting. Janine: It’s like Garfield, but it’s Seinfeld. Austin: Yeah, uh huh. All sorts of comics. (as Jimmy Cone): What are you in town for? Janine: [laughs] That’s a— Keith: I’m not really sure! Janine: [laughing] That’s a question Brontë barely knows the answer to, honestly. Keith: Yeah, I’m also not that sure. Austin: Yeah. Well— Keith (as Antistrophe): It’s a work thing. Janine (as Brontë): We’re accompanying someone on some errands. Keith (as Antistrophe): We’re a company. Mayor’s Office [1:51:02] Austin: [laughs] At that moment we’re gonna cut back over to our good friend Caoimhe. Have you made your way to— Janine: Who is working. [laughs] Austin: The mayor’s office? Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Damn, I hope I’m not missing any exciting sporting events. Austin: [laughs] Sylvi: Yeah, I have. Austin: Okay. You see the mayor’s office, the city hall, has the banner of the Hexcloaks completely unfurled over its front- kind of its front-facing facade. Like most facades are. Sylvi: [sarcastic] Oh wonderful. That’s gonna make people like us. Austin: Uh huh. They have taken over the office. You go in and there is a receptionist here too. He is kind of a mild mannered dude with glasses, who’s balding, and who has a big button on that says, “Mayor.” (as Mayor): How can I help you there? Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Oh! I mean, I’m assuming the button’s a—they’ve got you working the front desk? Austin (as Mayor): Oh it’s good for me to meet the people of the town, you know, and see them as they come in, and make sure that any needs are met, right here, right in the front! Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Fair- fair enough. Caoimhe Wake, pleasure to meet you. Austin (as Mayor): Pleasure to meet you, I’m Mayor Delt. You can call me Deltie, you can call me Mayor. Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Probably will use both. Anyway, I’m just here to—I was told to report in. This is the— Austin (as Mayor Delt): Ah, of course! Austin: Does the salute. (as Mayor Delt): Doing the salute for ya! I know a Hexcloak when I see one! Sylvi: After a brief just like second of like, do I—am I really gonna? She does the salute back. She does not like the salute. Austin: Uh huh. (as Mayor Delt): Well you know where you’re headed! Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Yeah, yeah I’m—actually, I wanted to ask, a Hexcloak by the name of Bartolo Temple hadn’t come through here at all? Austin (as Mayor Delt): Bartolo Temple…Bartolo [Bart-oh-lo]? Bartolo [Bart-ah-lo]? Bartolo [Barta-lo]. Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Bartolo [Bart-oh-lo]. Austin (as Mayor Delt): Bartolo [Barta-lo] Temple…no. Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Yeah? Austin (as Mayor Delt): Bartolo Temple? No. Austin: [laughs] Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Just wanted to make sure. Thank you. And no messages from him or anything? Austin (as Mayor Delt): Messages for…for who? Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Well for me. Austin (as Mayor Delt): Who are you? Sylvi (as Caoimhe): C-Caoimhe Wake, I just introduced myself to you. Austin (as Mayor Delt): Caoimhe Wake. Sorry, I have so much going on as the mayor. Ahhh, I’m looking here— Sylvi (as Caoimhe): It’s okay, Deltie. Austin (as Mayor Delt): I’m looking here, Caoimhe Wake—oh Caoimhe Wake! You’re wanted in the—ooh. You- ah, you should go see the Commander…um. He’s upstairs in the mayor’s office. In my office. Sylvi (as Caoimhe): Wonderful. Sylvi: Yeah. I point to the button again. (as Caoimhe): Got you. Austin (as Mayor Delt): That’s right. Sylvi: Well I guess that’s what I’m gonna go do. [“Perpetua” by Jack de Quidt plays until track ends]